Fifth Grade Love
by HMOrange216
Summary: A meeting between two crazy girls lead to problems...fighting over boys, meeting creepy pedo snakes... and overall turning the whole world upside down! OcxAkatsukixOC Collab with Joanna Davis!
1. First Meeting

Hey! This is a story I'm working together with Joanna Davis! Kirina is my OC and Akira is hers. Here's a little info about them:

**Kirina**- She came from the Mist. She lost her parents at 7 when they were on a mission and she was alone ever since. She came to the Rain seeking a new life. Little does she know, she had a whole new life as a criminal right ahead of her. She's seventeen, loves Takoyaki, pandas and hot guys.

**Akira**-She is Nagato/ Pein's younger sister. Soon after her birth she was given to an adoptive family, because their parents didn't have enough money to raise both of them. She learned this from her adoptive mother, whom she killed with the Rinnegan, blinded with rage. A year later, her Adoptive Father was found out as a traitor and was murdered. She was alone since then and trained on her own, mastering all six chakra types at fifteen. She met Pein in his tower and has worked for Akatsuki ever since. She is also seventeen and likes to annoy and argue with her brother. She is also always on the lookout for hotties.

*** Note: This has recently changed into a crossover, but the Bleach part doesn't come in until chapter 17!:D***

**Disclaimer:We Do Not Own Naruto!**

**First Meeting**

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><p><strong>Akira POV<strong>

I was shopping for a good hour now, though I hated shopping. A girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do. Suddenly, my brother appeared with his whole organization behind him. Okay, time to do the Grand Greeting! "Hi, nii-san... Konan, Zetsu, Kakuzu, Hidan, Sasori, Deidara, Tobi, Kisame and... kyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!" yes, there is someone new. A cool looking guy who made me totally swoon. I heard a similar kyaaaaaa from somewhere near me and a girl who seemed to be about my age appeared. I could tell she was looking in the same direction as me- the new hottie. It's absolutely normal to want him, sweetie... "Nii-san, why the hell didn't you tell me you had more hotties in Akatsuki? How come I didn't meet that raven-haired hot guy?" I frantically whispered to my brother, clutching the collar of his cloak and getting my face close to him, gritting my teeth and making my Rin'negan rings swirl like crazy. That's what I always did when I was angry with him. And this time I really was! I mean he kept such a hot guy hidden from me? Are you kidding me? "Yeah... Itachi- my sister Akira. She's crazy by the way. She killed her first victim at seven years old. Then she massacred almost all Kumo's ANBU. " "It was an accident, okay? And that time they ** me off greatly!" I growled at him, then my expression turned into a big grin as I sweetly said: "Nice to meet you, Itachi-san..." "Hn. Nice to meet you too." "We're here to recruit a new member for Akatsuki. I think it's the girl over there. Mizuhana Kirina?" Pein says looking at that girl who kyaaaa-ed at the sight of Itachi. She looked over at all ten of us with big eyes, then nii-san started his unending tirade about 'I'm-evil-and-dangerous-and-blah-blah-and-Konan-has-to-notice-how-cool-I-am-and-blah-blah-and-if-I-forget-to-drink-my-coffee-I-go-nuts-and-blah-blah-blah-blah...' So annoying... but better use this time to gaze at Itachi!

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><p><strong>Kirina POV<strong>

"Kyaaa!" Oh my Kami! Hot guys alert! 8 guys and one woman entered the shop. The orange-head went over and talked to a girl about my age. Then he pointed at me. "hey, mister carrot! Its rude to point ya know!" he...didn't seem to like what I said. They all walked over to me. "Mizuhana Kirina, I am Pein from Akatsuki and I would like to-" "Yeah yeah, cut the crap. I need to talk to a hottie here!" I turned around and this weird silver-haired guy blocks my view. "Hottie, at your service bitch." What a rude guy! "Sorry mister, but you ain't hot enough to be a hottie!" He growled and flipped me off. How dare he! I'll show you! I double flipped him.

"Ha! Eat that fake hottie!" I turned to the real hottie. "Hi, I'm Kirina!" "Hn." I can tell he doesn't talk much. I like that! "So, whats your sign?" "Hn." "Umm, is that the only word you know?" "No. I know 14,684 words including 'hn'." "Woah! Thats two more words than I know! We have so much in common." Orangey cleared his throat and interrupted my lovely conversation. "So as I was saying, I'm Pein and-" I tuned him out. Instead I turned to the girl next to him. "Hey, I'm Kirina." "I'm Akira." "Do you know the name of that hotie I just talked to?" "Itachi? Of course I do!" "Oh so thats his name." "He's soo hot" She was practically drooling, thinking of him. "I know right? Its his hair." "And his sexy sharingan eyes!" "Kyaaa!" we both shouted. "WOULD SOMEBODY LISTEN TO ME!" "Sorry nii-san." Akira answered. "Nii-san?" "He's my brother. Sad, right?" I patted her back. "It's ok. Life has dissapointments." "He's not that bad...most the time. He's only crazy when Konan's around." she pointed to the blue haired lady. "...Konan's almost always around." "Oh. So he's pretty much crazy all the time." "Yup. Pretty much." "I'M STILL HERE YOU KNOW!" "NOBODY CARES!" we shouted. "LISTEN OR I'LL SHINRA TENSEI YOU ALL!" nobody dared talk after that. "Finally. Ok Mizuhana Kirina, will you join Akatsuki?" "Umm...do I get to see Itachi-san everyday?" "...maybe." "Maybe? Then I'll think about it." "FINE! YOU'LL SEE HIM EVERYDAY! HAPPY? NOW CAN I JUST LEAVE THIS PLACE ALREADY?" "Ok I'll join." "Thank. You." The ten and a half Akatsuki members retreated to their hideout.

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><p>So what did you think? We worked really hard on this so I hope you like it! Please review, bye!<p> 


	2. Meetings, Arguments and Love

**Meetings, Arguements and Love**

Yup! I updated! Hope you like this and blah blah blah Itachi is awesome. Okay. You can read it now.

**Disclaimer:Still don't own Naruto T_T**

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><p><strong>Akira POV<strong>

After a long journey to the hideout, with a constant bugging from Pein (he wanted me to talk to Konan and see if she likes his new piercing- I didn't want to know where it was...) and constant gazing at Itachi-sama, bro' gathered us all in that big room with the Gedo Mazu statue and ceremonially brought out two cassettes.  
>Ah, don't you tell me!<br>"Akira, Kirina Mizuhana, I have the pleasure to welcome you in the Akatsuki organization..." he started, but I started tapping my foot to the ground. "Akira, can you...?"  
>"No! I'm bored! I helped you write this goddamned acceptance speech! I don't wanna hear it again after I heard it ten times while you were practicing it in front of the mirror!"<br>"Shut up! Everyone had to hear it!"  
>"And everyone is equally bored! Okay, maybe I'm more bored than all of them."<br>"EVERYONE PAY ATTENTION OR I'LL SHINRA TENSEI YOU ALL!"  
>"You're getting to be predictable..." I commented on a low voice, but everyone heard it in the dead silence that fell after bro's outburst.<br>"WHO DARED?" he yelled looking at everyone of us.  
>"I did. Gonna shinra me?" I said.<br>"Too bad I can't... Okay, then what about the rules? You didn't hear them! And everyone contributed to them!"  
>"I wanna hear Itachi-sama's rule!" Kirina and I yelped in the same time, then kyaaaaa-ed. Yeah, we were obsessed fangirls.<br>"You'll hear everyone's rules! So! Konan's rule is first!"  
>There he goes again with the blah blah... and he should just ask her out already... but noooooo, he has to do the I'm-an-intangible-god-and-I-don't-care-about-girls...<p>

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><p><strong>Kirina POV<strong>

Pein was just blabbing in his usual I am leader, hear me roar way.  
>"Konan's rule is first! Do not flirt with, touch, or ask out Pein-Pein." Leader blushed while reading, earning a few snickers from the group. He cleared his throat and continued."and no dying your hair blue."<br>"I did not. I repeat, not put Pein-Pein in." Konan stated.  
>"Next, Zetsu's rule. Respect and love plants or I will eat you!" Nobody said anything.<br>"Um, Tobi's rule: be a good boy!"  
>"Hey, we're girls!" Akira shouted.<br>"Tobi is being a sexist" I complained.  
>"Fine, be a good girl or boy." we nodded with approval. "Kakuzu's rule: never ask for a penny."<br>"Can I ask for a dollar?" I asked the masked man. He gasped and had a heart attack.  
>"How dare she! A dollar! A frickin dollar she asks." I smirked, four more of those and bye bye Kakuzu.<br>"Would you all just listen! Hidan's rule: diaper wearers will have to convert to Jashinism." Pein sweatdropped while reading this. I bet he wears diapers.  
>"Um, Sasori's. Respect art and don't touch my puppets. 'nuff said."<br>"Deidara, no play doh. Ever...un." It was funny to hear Pein say un.  
>"Kisame says no shark fin soup unless you want to be...gulp..sliced into ribbons then made into sushi?" Oooh I love sushi!<br>"Next Itachi's rule-"  
>"GO ITACHI! KYAAA~." Me and Akira screamed. Pein's eye twitched.<br>"Shut up!" We did. "Ok now my rule."  
>"Hey! You skipped Ita-kun's!" I shouted.<br>"No, I just said it."  
>"Say it again."<br>"Shut up!" Oh. I can do that. Me and Akira wwere silent for the rest of the time.  
>"Okay, don't annoy me. No shouting, fangirl screaming or talking during my meetings. Don't touch my piercings. Never I repeat never touch my Konan plushy! Never draw on my face, never ruffle my hair. Don't call me Sonic. Don't throw carrots at me?...Ok who wrote that there!" Akira giggled.<br>"Why Akira do you hate me so much?"  
>"Sorry nii-san, you're just too boring."<br>"I am not! I can be interesting too."  
>"Yeah only when you sing about Konan in the shower!"<br>"I do not."  
>"Yeah you do."<br>"Do not!"  
>"Do too!" The rest of the meeting consisted of the sibling arguing about how boring pein is and me staring at my Ita-kun.<p>

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><p><strong>Akira's POV Again<strong>

"And I bet you made Konan's rule! And why the hell would any girl without a mental disease flirt or touch you, except for a nice beating up?" I continued with one of my never-ending fights with bro'.  
>"Actually..."<br>"Paper-cut!"  
>"Shinra tensei! ...ooops..."<br>"Enough said! You two take your rings and then everyone is dea... dismissed!" bro' yelled over the small talks that created in the meanwhile, except for Itachi and Kirina, who were silent. So she really wanted to follow his rule strictly... Gah, if it wasn't for my big mouth and Nagato, I'd easily obey the rule too...  
>I took the dark red ring from one of the cassettes and looked happy enough at the black kanji for ryu (dragon), while Kirina put on her... dark red ring... with hana (flower). Two dark red rings? I've never seen this before...<br>"Nii-san... how come...?"  
>"YOU'RE TWO OBSESSED FANGIRLS THEREFORE I THOUGHT YOU WOULDN'T PROTEST, BUT AGAIN I'M WRONG! Sniff, sniff... why do you hate me, 'Kira? Why?"<br>Huh? I mean, I know why I'm annoying him, but how does this link with the fact that we are obsessed... ooooh! Yeah, now I see! Itachi-sama's ring is dark red too! Kyaaaaaaaa!  
>"Yours is almost identical!"<br>"Yours too! And both are like Itachi-sama's! Kyaaaaaa~!" Kirina and I shared 'opinions' about the rings.  
>"I SAID DISMI..." Pein started to yell, but then Konan left his visual area. He shook his head a few times then..."Hey, sis', have you seen that movie yesterday?"<br>"What happened?" Kirina asked, astonished by Pein's sudden change of heart.  
>"...look around and see what's missing."<br>"Itachi-sama is sure here... and so are the rest of the guys... Konan is... ooooh! So you really meant it when you said he's crazy around Konan?"  
>"Yep. He has a switch!" I said, ruffling his hair and already breaking two rules. Yay :3!<br>"Don't touch him, no matter you are his sister!" Konan yelled, appearing in the doorway.  
>"YES! YOU SHOULD BE..." he started banging his chest again, but a raised-eyebrows-look made him stop. "Hah, dunno of who I'm more afraid! My little sister or my..."<br>"Lover?"  
>"Partner!"<br>"Life partner?"

"SHUT UP! AND DISMISSED, FOR THE ELEVENTH TIME TODAY!"  
>"Actually... I think they were twe..." I started, but Kirina grabbed my hand and pulled me away from him.<br>But the two of us were also separated when Deidara and Sasori came and said they want to have a talk with us. I shared a look with Kirina, but left her with Deidara while I was going to the living room with Sasori.  
>"You know, Akira... I'm very interested in you..." he said, his eyes glinting.<br>"Because I'm Pein's sister or because I have the Rin'negan or because I'm hot... not interested."  
>"But you didn't even hear what I wanted to say to you..."<br>"You hate to waste time, and I hate to have my time wasted. So whatever you have to say is not of interest to me." I said harshly then turned around and left. I was very angry when guys tried this kind of tricks with me. Annoying. And I didn't want distraction while I was trying to get Itachi-sama's affection, duh!  
>Passing by a door I heard some voices. Kirina... and Deidara. Typically.<br>"I like you, un..."  
>"I know, but... I think... I..."<br>"You don't like me back, un?"  
>"It's not that, I like you in a friendly way... but my heart already belongs to someone else..."<br>"Uchiha, un?"  
>"No, Kakuzu!"<br>"O.o, un!"  
>"Yes, Itachi-sama. So..."<br>"I understand..."  
>I knew it! She loved Kakuzu!<p>

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><p>I have a feeling that we kyaaa too much...oh well. Poor Sasori and Deidara, I hope they'll live through the shock of rejection. See you next time?(Don't know how to end this) Bye!<p> 


	3. Party All Night

**Party All Night!**

Hey! While I was writing this I was wondering, how would Orochimaru look like bald?*Shiver* Not the best haircut ever. Remember to review!

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto**

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><p><strong>Kirina's POV<strong>

Party! Party! Party! Leader-sama told us yesterday that we were having a party to celebrate Orochimaru!...no not celebrating him! Celebrating the two year anniversary of his departure from Akatsuki. Sadly, I still couldn't talk and now Akira is doing it too. It's so hard, but Itachi-sama's rule is most important. Can't say the same about the others though. Just the other day I asked Kakuzu for a dollar. He threatened to cut my head off! He doesn't have to be so mean about it! After all, I do supposedly have a 'crush' on him, and yes, I did talk to Kakuzu. The rule only applies within ten feet of Itachi. Other than that, I don't give a shit! The others were getting irritated with our talking, or lack of. Trust me, you wouldn't want to have a conversation with me, I can turn a decent conversation into some freak show in two minutes. Just yesterday, Kisame pulled Itachi into a room, being the curious idiot I was, I listened outside.  
>"Itachi-san, leader told me to tell you to convince the girls to talk again."<br>"Hn." same old Itachi.  
>"The others don't seem real happy about the fact that they're not talking."<br>"Hn."  
>"Would you care a little more! At least you have someone who cares and listens to your rule! Two days ago, I caught Akira eating shark fin soup in her room. I threatened to slice her into ribbons and she looked at me with the scariest Rinnegan eyes!" Aww Kisame wants someone who cares. But I can't believe that Akira would eat shark fin soup! Without me! Itachi was silent for a moment.<br>"Fine, I'll have a talk with them." They both headed for the door and I ran for it. They came out and I returned a minute later.  
>"Kirina-chan, may I have a word with you?" Itachi was as polite as ever. I wish I can see the other side of him, the side that cares.<br>I nodded and we walked a little further down the hall.  
>"You can talk now." I let out a sigh. Finally, I can speak!<br>"Itachi-kun, don't kill me but I overheard your conversation with Kisame." I confessed.  
>"I know, I sensed your chakra." What an idiot. I'm talking about myself.<br>"Let me guess, I forgot to hide it." he nodded and I groaned.  
>"I feel so stupid."<br>"Don't. It's fine." I didn't say anything after that.  
>"Why do you and Akira-chan worship me?"<br>"Eh? I'm sorry but I think you got this wrong. I don't worship. Stalking is a much better method. Don't worry, I'm not stalking you...yet. But Akira probably does. I think she has an Itachi temple in her closet!" I laughed and I swear, there was a smirk on his face.

"I'll see you later, Itachi-kun." he nods and I walk the opposite way.

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><p><strong>Akira POV<strong>

"Akira-chan, can I steal a minute from you?"  
>"Hmmm?" I said, turning around. I didn't even need to see him after I heard him speak to figure out it was Itachi-sama.<br>"... you can speak now..."  
>"Oh, thank Kami, this silencee... So... how can I help you, Itachi-kun?"<br>"I just wanted to tell you it's okay to talk, but not too much."  
>"Of course..."<br>"And why do you and Kirina-chan stalk me?"  
>"Huh? No, no, no... you got it wrong. It's more like an worshiping. More from Rina than from me. She must fall asleep with a picture of you in the arms and full of her lipstick... and drool..." I said laughing, and I swear for a millisecond there was a hint of smile on his face.<br>"See you later at the party, 'Kira-chan" he said, and I turned around and walked to my previous destination before he came. He called me Kira! Yay!

Partyyyyyy! Yay! I'm a very obsessed party girl! I mean I can drink as much as a guy! And then everything goes crazy, in Akatsuki everything is crazy by default... Oohhh... I knew what to do! Coax my brother come to the party too! He got wasted from one shot! Mwahahahahaha! And I definitely wanted to see him ask Konan out... because where Pein is Konan is... Mwahahahaha!  
>And I really wanted to play spin the bottle and make Rina talk... she's been obeying Itachi-sama's rule very strictly... heh... what if she'll have to kiss Kakuzu? After all... she looooves him...<br>While everyone was gathering around I saw Kirina talk with someone at a distance smaller than ten feet away from Itachi-sama. What?  
>"Hey, Rina... how come you found your ability to speak again?" I went to her and asked. She was talking with Kisame, who gave me a killing glance and I returned a freaky Rin'negan look. He suddenly became smaller and left with his head low.<br>"Itachi-sama talked to me!" she answered proudly. "And asked me to talk again."  
>"Yay for you..." WTF? He talked with her too? Ah, it must have been that idiot brother who wanted to get revenge on me... But there's something he can do for me... "Oh, and by the way- you didn't say anything about me, right?"<br>"Nothing untrue..." she muttered, and I left her there to talk with Kisame again, and went to my brother. He was in his emo corner.  
>"I need something from you."<br>"What, Kira?"  
>"We'll play spin the bottle and if you'll make sure I get to have big chances with... cough cough someone I'll make sure your someone plays too. And you'll get a chance to..."<br>"I get it. So you want me to make Itachi stay in front of you so you can kiss him and you'll make Konan play?"  
>"And I want no girl to get my chance. No girl."I hate you."<p>

"Love you too, 'Gato..." I said, ruffling his hair again.  
>"I TOLD YOU NOT TO TOUCH HIM!" Konan yelled, and I rushed to her and linked my arm with hers.<br>"Konan, the person I wanted to see! Say... will you..."

Later at the party everyone was having a great time. Then we all got a little dizzy and started the much-expected game. Nagato kept his word and made me stay right in front of Itachi-sama, and I kept my word so Konan was in front of him. We shared a complicit look I hoped no one noticed. Though Kirina looked a little suspicious... who cares?  
>Just when Zetsu spinned the bottle first, our living room's eastern wall crashed. We all looked in surprise as a drunk Orochimaru, an even more drunk Kabuto and a stoic Sasuke appeared from the ruins of the wall. WTF?<br>"Helloooo, hot ex-fellows! I'm here to join the partyyyy!" Oro yelped like a girl. Kabuto hiccuped behind him and fell on Sasuke, who was to busy trying to get to Itachi. "Oooh... new members... I want your body!" the snake-man continued, pointing to me. "And I want you tonight!" he said, pointing at Kirina. Everyone snickered and she blushed violently.  
>"Itaaaaaachiiiiii!" Sasuke yelled, launching at Itachi-sama with a chidori. He stopped him easily and Kirina hit Sasuke's head with a frying pan. Kisame dragged him to a corner of the room and Kabuto and Oro joined the game too. Not best thing possible for a party...<p>

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><p><strong>Kirina's POV<br>**Orochimaru ran at me with his arms out.  
>"Come here my new body!" I screamed and ran behind Itachi. He put Orochimaru in a genjutsu. I felt relieved.<br>"Rina-chan, are you okay?" He...he called me Rina? Where'd he hear that? But who cares! He called me Rina! Haha Akira!  
>"I'm fine, thanks."<br>"Hn." I really need to study hn the lanuage. Sasuke got up and charged at Itachi with Chidori, again. Kisame swung Samehada like a baseball bat and hit him square in the face. Orochimaru recovered from the genjutsu and summoned some snakes.  
>"I WILL TAKE YOU, MY DEAR GIRL!" I couldn't help but shiver from the sound of his voice. So… girly. Itachi used a giant fireball and shot it right at Orochimaru and his snakes. Burning them and...his hair.<br>"My hair! My beautiful silky hair that I've had for fifty years." He said clutching the burnt remains of his hair. Fifty years and no haircut? Is he really that poor?  
>"Now Jiraiya will win the pretty hair contest!"<br>"Um, I don't think he'll win either, because if Itachi joins he'd win you all!" Snakey growled. I don't think that helps our cause at all.  
>Somewhere else in the room, Kabuto stared at Akira.<br>"The Rinnegan. So fascinating. YOU WILL BE MY NEXT EXPERIMENT! MWAHAHAHA!" Akira screamed and ran in circles. Sasori came in front of her and summoned puppets. I guess his crush on her still remains. Akira took this chance to sneak away and hide behind Itachi.  
>"Creepy pedo chasin after ya?"<p>

"Better than glasses boy over there." she shrugged and we watched in silence. Everything was fine until Kabuto came over and Sasuke got up again.  
>"Itachi can't take on all of them!"<br>"Then we join." I nodded and turned to Sasuke. My eyes turn icy blue and put him under a week long genjutsu. Akira used her Rinnegan and Shinra tenseied Kabuto. Itachi was...well Itachi. He did something I couldn't recognize. The three enemies fell to the ground. The three of us fell from exhaustion. The other drunks-I mean the other members, were playing a game while we were here fighting to death. Unfair, I thought as darkness claimed me.  
>I woke up first and realized that Itachi fell asleep in between me and Akira. She woke up right after me and we scanned the room. Orochimaru and Kabuto were snuggling next to eachother, ew. Sasuke was in his own little world.<br>"THE EVIL COUPLE AND EMO BROTHER IS STILL HERE!" We shouted. Everyone did wake up but was suffering from major hangovers therefore, was reacting badly to the sound. Me and Akira being the only ones sober here, kicked there asses all the way to the north pole, never to be seen again. So much for a party.


	4. Into the Snake's Hideout

**Into the Snake's Hideout**

Hiya! We'll be seeing a lot more of Snakey and glasses boy! Which is a bad thing...or is it good?

**Disclaimer: Masashi Kishimoto owns Naruto, not me!**

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><p><strong>Akira's POV<strong>

All I talked with Pein worked only for him... he got to kiss Konan and thanked me with the best present possible- a mission. Great...  
>"Kira, sweet sister o'mine... I have a mission for you and Kirina."<br>"And I have a lot of things I'd love to say to you but I can't. At least I can ruffle your hair!" I said, doing exactly this.  
>"Okay, now listen to the mission details..." he started, then started one of his undenting tirades. Great... why pay attention to whatever he says?<br>And hour later, I woke up from my reverie. "So, do you have questions?"  
>"Yeah. Does Itachi-kun have a twin brother?"<br>"What is the link between the mission and this?"  
>"What mission?" was he talking about a mission? Really?<br>"DID YOU PAY ANY ATTENTION TO WHAT I WAS SAYING?"  
>"Do I ever?"<br>"I hate you."  
>"Love you too, 'Gato... but short?"<br>"Go to Oro's hideout and retrieve the ring he has."  
>"See! You should have said this while I was not dreaming about something!"<br>"I swear, when will this fangirl thing stop?"  
>I shrugged, threw a carrot at him and ran to Rina's room.<br>Without knocking, I entered her room and hided in there. "Hya, Rina! We've got a mission! We have to go to your friend Oro and get his finger."  
>"Finger?" she winced looking at me like I was nuts.<br>"Ring, finger, who cares? For Smeagol it's the same thing!"

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><p><strong>Kirina's POV<strong>

"Who's Smeargol?" I asked.  
>"Just a...person..no ITS A BUNNY. SMEARGOL IS A BUNNY! OKAY LETS GET GOING NOW!" she grabbed my arm and ran to the entrance of the hideout. Whats she so hyper for? I know its our first mission, but no need to be this excited! I saw two members hidden in the shadow. One was holding a big ass sword...Kisame. Now I understand. Wait, why is Akira running past them. Just as she was about to exit, the shark man reached out and grabbed the collar of our cloaks.<br>"Where do you two think you're going.?" Akira turned around and noticed the two for the first time.  
>"Kisame-san? ITACHI-KUN! What are you doing?"<br>"We're on a mission with you, baka. Trying to ditch us?"  
>"Eh? Why didn't carrot tell me that?" She was stuck in a state of shock.<br>"Kira, you didn't know about this?" I shook her out of her surprise.  
>"Stupid nii-san. Didn't tell me everything about the mission." Well thanks a lot leader.<br>"We are behind. Lets go." Itachi spoke.  
>"Hai!" I guess we all know who the leader of this mission is.<p>

It will take three days to get to sound. Right now, night was falling. We didn't reach a neighboring village yet. Itachi was right, we are behind. Which means sleeping in the forest today...great. Itachi made a fire and we all sat around it. Akira sat next to Itachi, obviously. I sat next to her and Kisame sat next to Itachi farthest away from me.  
>"Who's up for some scary stories?" no answer.<br>"Ok, I'll start!" The great blue shark began his tale about...sharks.  
>During the story, Akira held onto Itachi's arm and was shaking. I admit, the story was really scary but my was remained emotionless...even though inside I was screaming my head off. When the story ended, everyone fell asleep...except for me. When I closed my eyes, all I thought of was the story. I kept tossing and turning, finally sick of it, I sat up and looked at my companions. Peacefully asleep. I looked at their faces then, my eyes met with the red eyes of sharingan. Apparently, Itachi wasn't quite asleep yet. He sat up and met my gaze. I couldn't help but blush. What to do in an awkward situation like this? He stood up and motioned for me to follow. We walked through the forest. Say something, I thought. Itachi, just freakin say something! That...wasn't going to happen.<br>"I'm sorry, did I wake you up?" He shook his head indicating no.  
>"I'm a light sleeper."<br>"Oh." The dreaded silence again. More walking.  
>"Why were you awake?" he asked.<br>"Don't laugh but Kisame's story was a little scary...okay really scary." he smirked.  
>"I suppose it was." My eyes widened.<br>"You were scared?" he shook his head again.  
>"Kisame likes to tell scary stories everytime when we camp out. Yet, everytime its the same one. I've heard this one hundreds of times." I laughed a little.<br>"I know what I'm getting Kisame for Christmas!" Itachi put his hand on top of my hair and ruffled it a little.  
>"You seem fine now. Lets get back." I nodded and we walked in silence.<br>Back at the campsite, Kisame was snoring like a bear and Akira had a little snore going too. We took our previous spots. I closed my eyes and was out instantly.

* * *

><p><strong>Akira POV<strong>

Meow... morning is a drag... dunno where this came from... I stood up and streched like a cat. Itachi woke up too and ran his hand through his hair (triple kyaaaa~!), Rina stood up and looked around, and Kisame... he just kept snoring loudly and drooling over poor Samehada.  
>Kirina crawled to him and shook his shoulder. Oh, come on, something happen! Yeaaaa! His hand ran through her brown hair, and she blushed violently. I snickered loudly, and was surprised to hear a faint echo of this coming from Itachi. He was watching the scene with a mix between sarcasm and amusment. Whoah, he knew something I didn't? I needed to know this gossip? "Say what? What's up with them...?"<br>"Secret."  
>"Tellllll meeeee!" I said, punching his arm slightly.<br>"You can find out by yourself... all I can say is that Kisame has a 'secret' love..." he raised an eyebrow suggestively at me. Whoah, RinaxKisame! Cool!  
>Rina was absolutely stunned and seemed unable to talk for the whole decade... at least she obeyed Itachi's rule...<br>"KISAME-SAN, WAKE THE HELL UP!" I yelled in his ear, and he stood up trying to clutch Samehada, and instead he pulled Rina somewhere near his lap. I started rolling on the floor with laughter while the two were blushing violently and getting away one from the other. Another snicker from Itachi.  
>"Kissing up a tree..." I sung in a completely false tone, with my fingers crossed.<br>"STFU!" Rina yelled, and Kisame held up Samehada threateningly. A scary Rin'negan look was enough to make them silent once again.  
>After the packing of everything later we were again running towards Oro's hideout. Who made him build it so damn far?<br>"How long have you know about Kisame-san?" I asked Itachi.  
>"A little... since you joined."<br>"That's since forever."  
>"Yep."<br>"I have a plan in mind..."  
>"Just don't hurt either of them... and why are you doing this?"<br>"Own reasons... mwahahahaha!"  
>"Hm..."<br>Rina threw me a weird look, and I threw her an assassin look. She looked scared and shared a look with Kisame. They had no idea... Mwahahahaahahahaah!In the end we arrived at the hideout. While we were resting, Itachi came and put a hand on my shoulder. "What is your plan?"  
>"You wanna know, eh? The curiosity killed the cat... erm... the weasel..."<br>"What do you plan to do?" he said, tightening the grip.  
>"I was only planning to send them together when we'll have to part..." I said, changing the original plan because I didn't want Itachi to hear my sadistic plans...<br>"And this comes a little in your advantage, right?" he smirked, and I blushed again. Oh, only now come to think of it... if Rina went with Kisame I was to go with Itachi... yay!  
>"Uhhhh... yep?"<br>"Alright..."  
>OMFG! Yayayayayayayayayay! oh, and I almost forgot- kyaaaaaaaa~!<br>"Okay, let's go in!" I said loudly to the other two.  
>They nodded and Kami knows how Itachi found the enter and managed to get in the hideout without us being sensed. Just what I waited for- the trail separated in two different ways.<br>"Rina, you go with Kisame on the left way." I said.  
>"No way!"<br>"It'd be better, because Kisame is stronger than me. And 'Kira is strong enough to give me time to put the enemy in genjutsu." Itachi supplied. I threw him a thank-you-very-much-with-a-lot-of-kisses, and he returned the blank stare.  
>"You somehow did this, didn't you?" Kirina whispered to me, and I shrugged. She did something during the night, I knew it... so this was the revenge. Mwahahahahahaha!<br>"You better pray nothing wrong will happen..." she hissed to me, and I shrugged again.  
>We both parted in different directions. I only hoped I didn't meet Glasses Boy.<br>But again, am I ever lucky?

* * *

><p><strong>Kirina POV<strong>

I knew something was up, but I can't do anything about it so me and Kisame walked in complete silence. Occasionally, cracking up a joke. We were nearing the room when Kisame abruptly stopped.  
>"Is something wrong? Do you sense an enemy?"<br>"No, Kirina-chan, I have something to tell you." Oh no. I know this all to well.  
>"Yeah, what is it."<br>"I kinda...like you." I can't help but let out a sigh. Kisame was so nice, how could I reject him? Too bad Akira wasn't here. She could reject someone so easily, it comes naturally to her!  
>"Kaisame-san, you know who I like."<br>"I suppose it was worth a shot."  
>"Hey, no hard feelings, 'kay?" He nods. "I think of you more as a brother. That okay?"<br>"Okay, imouto-chan." I stick my tongue out at him. That was easier than I thought. I just got myself a brother!  
>Just before we reached the light, four ninjas appeared before us.<br>"I'll take three and you take that fat one over there." Kisame said. I nod and prepared for action.  
>I started out by using a taijutsu combo, punching and kicking. All I did was punch fat...didn't work. Next, I tried stabbing...didn't turn out well either. All fatty did was absorb my kunai into his fat stomch, gross. Finally I had to use genjutsu. He was stuck in my illusion and screaming loudly. Probably screaming about food loss. Kisame had already finished his three.<br>"Not bad Imouto-chan, not bad."  
>"Stop calling me that." I gave him a playful punch.<br>"Hey, it's rude to hit your nii-san!"  
>"Whatever, lets go."<br>We arrived at the room before the other two. So we decided to play a game. Rock, Paper, scissors. Loser has to pay $100 to the winner. This is what I call quick money. Kisame sucks at this game! I know it's a game of chance but still, he sucks! After I had won at least a thousand dollars, our comrades arrived. Akira happily skips to me.  
>"Hey, how was your walk?"<br>"Great, right Kisame-nii?" I looked at the shark-man. He nods then continued talking to Itachi.  
>"Eh? Rina, when were you hal shark! Why didn't you tell me?"<br>"He's not really my brother. He just acts like it."  
>"But I thought...he...you..I..."<br>"You thought what?"  
>"She thought that Kisame has a crush on you." Itachi answered.<br>"He did. But we got that sorted out."  
>"Right you are imouto-chan." Kisame ruffled my hair.<br>"Hey, don't mess my hair up!" Kisame chuckels and we turned face to face with Harry Potter and his best friend Voldemort.  
>"Sorry to interrupt your reunion, but I believe we have some business to settle."<br>"FINGER!" I shouted.  
>"BODY!" Snakey shouted. I ran towards my goal, but Itachi grabs my collar.<br>"Do you want to get yourself killed?" He asked?  
>"But...finger."<br>"I don't want you to hurt yourself, get it later... now prepare to fight." He turned to Orochimaru. Sharingan, activated.

* * *

><p>Next chapter they continue their mission! Reviews please! Bye!<p> 


	5. Wild Snake Chase

**Wild Snake Chase**

I just noticed that in these last two chapters, it has the word snake in the title and in the last three chapters Orochimaru was involved. OMFG OROCHIMARU HAS TAKEN OVER MY LIFE! JK, if he did, I would go jump down a building and fall to my death.

**Disclaimer: Naruto belongs to Kishimoto and not me!**

* * *

><p><strong>Kirina POV<strong>

Orochimaru attacked first. Cheating pedo, he is. He summoned his big ass snake, Manda. I tried not to show fear..but it's really hard WHEN YOU HAVE GIANT SNAKE IN YOUR FACE! The snake leaned in close.  
>"Eww, you have really bad breath! May I suggest a breath mint." He hissed. I summoned a katana.<br>"Move back, snakey or I'll skewer your big stinky head off!" I waved my long sword at him and he started slithering away.  
>"Hey, wait! I din't get to barbeque your head yet!" I chased him but that creepy reptile hid behind a grinning Orochimaru, tongue flapping around like a giant slimy tail.<br>"Eww, creeper snake, you need a shower too!" I did some handsigns a water dragon appeared and drenched the pedo snake. He hissed menacingly.  
>"You. Will. Die!" He lunged at me, but a certain Uchiha was faster, already burning him with a great fireball. His snake had already dissapeared in a puff of smoke. While he was burining, I asked him a question that will bring me to my death.<br>"Hey, Orochimaru, are you bald yet?" He screamed like some crazy woman. I took a sideglance at Itachi to find him smirking.  
>While this was going on, Kabuto, dubbed glasses boy, was running at Akira with his weird medical jutsu attack. She...Shinra Tenseied him and he hit the wall, glasses cracking. Orochimaru, who had finally recovered yelled<br>"No! My little Harry Potter! You will all suffer, one day! But for now, retreat!" And with that he bashed the wall, making a hole...with his head, carried the unconscious Kabuto on his back and exited via hole made by creepy snake's head.  
>"Wait! Finger!" I looked at my fellow companions.<br>"Do we follow them or what?" Kisame nods and took the lead. I could tell that we'll be seeing a lot more of the pedo duo.

* * *

><p><strong>Akira POV<strong>

Shinra rulez, Shinra rulez... I stopped my victory dance when Rina elbowed me and motioned me to go out and chase creepy pedo like an even creepier 'bunny' which keeps saying 'my precious' and is bipolar... OMFG, SMEAGOL IS ZETSU! I knew it!  
>"Akira-chan, you're rambling again about things no one really cares about in your mind..." Kisame sighed.<br>"Like how to cook those dead sharks I've captured yesterday?" I hissed, giving him my signature Rin'negan glare.  
>"Kira, stop picking at nii-san and let's get going!" Kirina said, and after a long sigh I followed her and Itachi through the hole which appeared somehow. Wow, people tend to make a lot of holes lately... Including Gato... he makes lots of holes for his piercings...<br>"KIRA!" Rina yelled again at me, and I woke up to see I was running with them, but not really paying any attention.  
>"What? We got them?"<br>"Kira-chan, can you contact Leader-sama?" Itachi asked quietly, and I was glad to see a big anime vein pop up at Kirina. Right, she had never heard Ita-kun call me Kira before... Cha! Where did that come from?  
>"Yep... just let me a sec to concentrate... what tell him?"<br>"To send everyone after Orochimaru."  
>"'Kay, Ita-kun, just a moment..." another huge anime vein from Kirina because of the nickname, but I was already teasing my nii-san who was with Konan, trying and failing to learn origami.<br>A minute later, I opened my eyes and said "Okay, everyone is after them. We should meet Hidan and Kakuzu as soon."  
>"Good job." Itachi said, and I beamed my 170-watt-smile at him.<br>Soon Hidan and Kakuzu joined as I said they would, though complaining a lot about having to leave everything important to them (aka a girl Jashin knows where Hidan got her from and... surprise surprise, money) only to chase a 'snakeshit and four-eyed **' they didn't care about only because a 'Jashin-smited carrot bastard' told them to. I found this whole tirrade very funny, but not funnier than when we saw Zetsu bloom from the ground with a bunny in his mouth/  
>"Zetsu-san is eating Smeagol!" Kirina yelled, and I couldn't help but laugh like a maniac on my own.<br>Half hour later... "Kira-chan, are you alright? You're already laughing from a long time."  
>"What? I am? Oh, yeah, ahahaahahahahaahahahahaaha~!"<br>"Why are you laughing?" Itachi frowned at me.  
>Suddenly, I stopped and stood up. "Dunno." I shrugged, and Rina and Itachi sweat-dropped. I saw only they were around and the rest was nowhere to be seen.<br>"Where's everyone?"  
>"THEY LEFT TWENTY MINUTES AGO BECAUSE YOU WOULDN'T STOP LAUGHING AFTER YOU SAW ZETSU EAT SMEAGOL! AND NOW THEY'RE GETTING THE FINGER WHILE WE'RE HERE!" Rina burst out.<br>"...how did you manage to say this without stopping to take a breath?"  
>"YOU'RE KIDDING ME, RIGHT?"<br>"You sound mad..."  
>"I AM MAD, YOU IDIOT!"<br>"You are? Wow, I guessed it!"  
>"Why are you doing this, Kira-chan?"<br>"Own reasons." I said, brushing a sleeve of my cloak uninterested.  
>"Can you keep this for later and cooperate now?"<br>"Say please, Ita-kun."  
>"No."<br>"...say iiiit~!"

"... ...say..."  
>"Fine, please!"<br>"Okay, then why are we still here? We have to catch up with the others!" I said, starting to run. Behind me I heard Itachi silent and probably sulking over the fact that he had to say the magic word and Kirina mumbling something about me and PMS. Not really!

* * *

><p><strong>Kirina POV<strong>

I swear, Akira was PMSing. So crazy and hyper. Sigh, that's Akira for you. I was really surprised that Itachi would actually say please, he didn't seem so happy about it either. Kisame was ignoring the crazies aka us. I walked over to him.  
>"Hey, Kisame-nii. How's it going?"<br>"Fine. Why don't you go annoy your beloved Ita-kun." I stared at Itachi for a while.  
>"Nah, he's in his emo corner growing mushrooms. I have better things to do like, annoy you!" He groaned.<br>"Yeah, have fun with that."  
>"Gladly." The remainder of the trip was spent with me singing about sushi, Itachi growing some really big mushrooms, and Kira keeping quiet.<br>"Ita-kun, when will we arrive?" I used Kira's nickname for him. She was glaring daggers at me.  
>"Soon." He replied. This was great. I'm stuck with a weasel, a PMSing girl and a shark, looking for a snake and Harry Potter. I hummed the tune of 'Pop Goes the Weasel' right in Itachi's ear. He started violently shaking and a vein popped. I stopped humming.<br>"Ita-kun, are you okay?"  
>"I'm fine, Rina-chan."<br>"Okay, then." More humming. This time closed his eyes for a long time while walking. I was afraid that he'd hit a tree so I stopped humming.  
>Finally, I spotted a weird house in the middle of the forest.<br>"Is that where they are?" Weasel and Shark nodded. I happily skipped to the entrance, that is until I smelled the stench coming from the hideout.  
>"Are you sure we didn't come by some sewer house on accident?" Even Kira looked a little green.<br>"Come on Imouto-chan, let's go in." I looked at Kisame with a 'you got to be kidding me' look.  
>"No way in hell I'm going in there without a gas mask." Kira nodded in agreement. Itachi sighs then produced two masks from his cloak.<br>"Thank you, Ita-kun." We both yelled.  
>"Hn."<br>"Hey, Itachi-san, since you have those handy, do you mind giving me one?" Itachi stared at Kisame for a really long time. I'm sure that he's thinking WTF? Kisame. But he gave him a mask anyways.  
>"Okay, lets go!"<br>I could tell that Itachi wanted a mask too. His face was showing different shades of green.  
>"Er, Itachi-kun, you sure you don't want a mask?"<br>"I'm fine."  
>"Fine, then. Be that way." After walking through billions of hallways, we stopped.<br>"I sense their chakra." Sure enough, the room was shouting pedo chakra. Kisame slowly reached for the door knob and slowly opened it.  
>"Why are you opening it so slow?" I stupidly asked.<br>"Baka! It's for a more dramatic effect!"  
>"Can you just open it!" Kira lost her cool. Kisame obeyed and opened the door to reveal...no one?<br>"Huh?" me and Kira were confused.  
>"Clone." Itachi replied. "We've stepped into their trap. Sure enough a cage fell down on us. Kisame and Itachi poofed away, but Akira and I didn't get it, leaving us locked away.<p>

* * *

><p>Oh, cliffie! Yay! What did you think?<p> 


	6. Caged in Then Broken Free

**Caged in Then Broken Free**

Just warning ya, this chapter is shorter than others and will scar you for the rest of your lives!(Can't get the images out of my mind-_-")

**Disclaimer: You know the drill, I Don't Own Naruto...blah blah blah on with story:)**

* * *

><p><strong>Kirina POV<strong>

Under the cage, the floor crumbled. The two of us fell into an unknown basement. We grabbed onto eachother.  
>"Kira, why can't we be a little smarter and take the hint?"<br>"I dunno...maybe we were born that way."  
>"Kukukuku. Hello, ladies. welcome to the Orochimaru world concert." There, in front of us, was Orochimaru. He had on a fake afro wig and this really shiny costume that reminded me of Michael Jackson.<br>"You mean the World's First Creepy Pedo Concert?" I asked.  
>"And afros are so out." Kira added. Orochimaru touched his wig.<br>"They are?" He turned to glasses boy. "Harry Potter! Get me another wig."  
>"Yes, Pedo Master."<br>"What did you just call me!" he screeched.  
>"I said, yes, snake master."<br>"Thought so." Kabuto returned a moment later, wig in hand. Orochimaru ripped his wig off, revealing his ugly bald head. Akira kept staring.  
>"Shiiinnnyyy" I, on the other hand was covering my eyes.<br>"NOOO! BALD! IT BURNS, IT BURNS! GET IT OUT GET IT OUT!"  
>"SHINY!"<br>"Kira, is it gone yet?"  
>"Shinnny, shinny...aww no more shiny!" I guess thats my cue to open my eyes.<br>Orochimaru's bald head was replaced with a mohawk. Good choice. Gotta give glasses boy credit, its a good choice.  
>"You know, mohawks are..." I covered Kira's mouth.<br>"They are really in at the moment." Orochimaru nodded in approvement. I did not need to see anymore baldy.  
>"Well then, let the concert begin!"<br>"Whoo! Yeah! Go Orochimaru-sama!" Kabuto was the only one clapping. So much for a concert. Tobi could do better.  
>Orochimaru got in position, a dramatic spotlight shown on him. He took a deep breath and the music started...hey I know this song!<br>**I am a superstar with a big big house and a big big car,  
>I am a superstar and i don't care who you are.<br>I am a superstar with a big big house and a big big car,  
>I am a superstar and i don't care who you are.<strong>

Got many money honey, I'm a superstar,  
>My life is funny honey, Have you seen my car?<br>I know alot of people, I'm a superstar,  
>Everybody know me, Right from near to far.<p>

I got a plane (got a plane)  
>I love the fame (love the fame)<br>You know my name (know my name) And i just want you to know.

"STOP THIS TORTURE!" I yelled. He sang in the most horrific, screechy voice possible. Kabuto was cheering his head off and Kira seemed to be enjoying it too. Am I the only sane one here? Kisame-nii, Ita-kun, wherever you are, please SAVE US QUICK!

* * *

><p><strong>Akira POV<strong>

Yay... superstar!" I hummed in the rhythm of the song. I was well aware I was watching the first and probably (and hopefully) last Pedo Concert ever, but I loved the song... It reminded me of Gato, like how he thinks he's so cool... I'm the cool sibling, he's the annoying one... I mean, I'm a **-off-er, he's an annoyer... it's a different thing. He makes people want to kill him, and I make people want to kill themselves. See? Totally different!  
>"Kira-chan!"<br>"Wut?"  
>"Itachi-san is making a diversion so I can bust you outta this freak show!" Kisame said, just a sec before I heard booms and very Sasuke-like girl-screams.<br>"But finger...?" Great, now I was starting to sound like Rina!  
>"Forget about that, Leader-sama is simply growing carrots on his head because he's worried he won't be the one to finally kill you!"<br>Awwww, Gato cares... Like... I care about him too, but sometimes...  
>"KIRA! Snap off already!" Kirina said, and I shook my head to wake up really. My crazy fits were hard to hold back...<br>Suddenly, Itachi and Sasuke entered the stage fighting with Katon: crap o' flame no jutsu and accidentally knocking a decorative tree over Oro. Mumbling, he stood up and in a flash was behind Rina, immobilizing her. Much to my dismay, I found myself in the same situation, only that instead of Oro was Kabuto.  
>"Have I ever told you before that those eyes of yours shine like the glow of the salmonela?" he said, and I gritted my teeth while- yeah, you guessed- I shinra tenseied everything including Kabuto. But Rina couldn't use her rainbow-chocolate-whatever-Tobi-world-sounding-egan so was still at Pedo's mercy. Great.<br>He put a kunai at her throat and... wow, very original... threatened to kill her if we didn't watch the show... Okay, agree! I'll watch the show! yay!  
>"Set them free and take me instead."<br>If I didn't see Itachi's lips moving I wouldn't have thought those words came from him.  
>"No, Itachi! Don't do this!" Rina said, very kidnapped-defenceless-princess-style. Gawh, did I just fall in a cliché-filled movie?<br>"Rina-chan, understand... I have to do this..."  
>"Kira, tell him he can't!"<br>"She's right, Ita-kun... I mean, I don't mind watching the Superstar song..."  
>"It's not that... but after that... I can't stand thinking that Orochimaru has you both. Just go now. I'll come later."<br>"Promise?" Kirina asked, her eyes already saddned.  
>"Hn."<br>"Swear on red?"  
>"Yeah..."<br>"Okay. sure you'll come back to me... erm, us, Ita-kun?"  
>"I assure you, Kira-chan. Now just go."<br>"Ooo...kay... but if I won't see you ever after this... I want to tell you..."  
>"You'll see me. Keep this for the next time."<br>"...Kay."  
>"...Kay..." came the answer from Rina too, and Oro puched her aside and rushed to Itachi, yelling something like 'I knew you'd come back! They always do!'<br>Kirina and I looked one last time at Itachi, who gestured to us to go. Sighing, I slowly dragged my feet towards the exit, little aware that Rina was comforted by her nii-san and that I almost bumped into the door.  
>Incredibly enough, I had no mood for being crazy anymore...<p>

* * *

><p>T_T Why Itachi? That was pretty scary, Oro concert and all...yeah, bye!<p> 


	7. Costume Tea Party

**Costume Tea Party**

**Disclaimer: Don't Own Naruto:)**

* * *

><p><strong>Akira POV<strong>

As soon as we got out of the door from Snakey's hideout Nagato rushed to us, more exactly to me, and started scolding us, more exactly me, like a crazy overprotective mother:  
>"What was in your minds? Couldn't you avoid that obvious trap? I've been damn worried about you! Kira, what were you thinking? If you died who else would help me get Ko... uh..." he trailed off, looking at Konan who was watching him very closely.<br>"We just watched Oro sing Superstar." I replied.  
>"AND IT WAS HORRIBLE! LIKE ELEVEN CATS BEING STOMPED OVER AND THEN WENT OVER WITH A TANK!" Kirina cried, and I gave her a weird look. It wasn't that bad, was it? I mean, after hearing my lovely brother sing in shower about Konan nothing can be so bad... and believe me, he can't get out of the shower until he doesn't sing the whole tragedy about Konan, the whole Konan-is-my-angel stuff and the whole Konan-loves-me thingies. Horror.<br>"You two are locked inside the hideout until we get back Itachi."  
>"What?"<br>"No!"  
>"How come?"<br>"You're a mean brother, but not my mother!"  
>"And you have no jurisdiction over me! I only have my nii-san!"<br>"And I can tell everyone everything about you!"  
>Rina and I kept protesting over and over again, and Nagato was only nodding in understatement. "I understand you want to help too, but you're too young." he said finally.<br>Rlly? Not bloody likely! Yeah, we were the youngest, but I had the Rin'negan and Rina had that Tobi-sounding-thingies-egan which was very useful! WTF, my dear brother?  
>"Konan, be good and escort the girls home. We'll stay here." Pein said, and Konan bowed her head and then motioned us to walk. Damn it...<p>

* * *

><p><strong>Kirina POV<strong>

"Konan-chan, please. Please let us go." Me and Kira begged. We've been walking for five minutes and begging every minute of the way. I could tell that Konan will crack soon.  
>"Come on..please!"<br>"I can't, that's what leader orddered me to do." Me and Kira had a little discussion.  
>"She's not going to let us go." I whispered.<br>"Then we'll have to make her."

"How?"

"Let's think. What is one thing that she really wants?" We thought for a while.  
>"Pein!" We said at the same time.<br>"Hey, Konan-chan, if you let us go I'll set you up with my nii-san!" That got her attention.  
>"Why would I want to be with Pein?"<br>"Because you love him!"  
>"...no I don't."<br>"Do too!"  
>"Do not!"<br>"Do too!" We got into a little arguement about whether or not Konan likes Pein.  
>"Prove it!"<p>

"Um..."

"You have a plushie of nii-san that you hug at night!"  
>"How'd you know that?"<br>"Yeah, how do you know that, Kira?" She mumbled something about couldn't go to sleep..stalked...night...  
>"Okay, fine! Maybe a little. If I let you go will you promise, promise not to tell him?" We nodded with enthusiasm.<br>"Fine, leave ! Leave!" We ran back towards Orochimaru's base.  
>"Thanks Konan-chan!"<p>

"Which room was it again?"  
>"I don't know, do you sense their chakra anywhere, Rina?"<br>"Um...that way." I pointed straight ahead.  
>"Okay, let's go." We walked and I felt their chakra signatures get stronger every step we took.<br>"This should be it." Voices were heard behind the door.  
>"You ready?"<br>"ready as I'll ever be." Slowly I reach for the door knob...and...a weasel, a bunny, a snake and Harry Potter? Let me clear this up for you, Itachi, weasel, Sasuke, bunny, Orochimaru, snake, Kabuto, Harry Potter, costumes. That explain enough? Oh and I forgot to add tea party in there too. Okay, now you got it? Good.  
>"Halt! Who the bloody hell are you two?" Let's all guess who said that. Hint, hint, British wizard look-alike!<br>"You know damn well who we are. No need to be so...in character, you don't see Itachi making weasel sounds or Orochimaru hissing." Hisss.  
>"Scratch that, never mind." Of course, Akira, being the person she is, bounced right next to Itachi.<br>"Ita-kun, make a weasel sound!"  
>"Kira! Remember what we came here for!"<br>"To see Sasuke in a bunny suit?"  
>"No."<br>"To see Itachi in a bunny suit?"  
>"...NO!"<br>"Umm, see shiny head again?"  
>"...You know what, I give up!"<br>"Girl, would you like to join my party too?"  
>"Hells yes!"<br>"F- no!" and so, Kira chose a costume and joined the party. Me? I stood in the corner watching the whole thing. Itachi and Sasuke were having a friendly brother stare down. Orochimaru was hissing and Kabuto played with his fake wand. My so-called friend who ditched me was stuffing cookie after cookie in her mouth. I'm bored...good thing I have a handy dandy camera hidden somewhere in my cloak!  
>"PICTURE TIME!" I snapped pictures of everyone in the party! I walked up too Sasuke.<br>"Ooh, you look like your brother. But Itachi is still hotter hahaha. You're a pink bunny! I shall call you pink Zetsu!" He didn't like my comments very much. He threw a cookie at me.  
>"Ow! A cookie! really! Out of all the things here you choose a cookie. So the next time you fight Itachi, you'll throw a cookie at him? Yeah, I'm sure that'll kill him cause he's allergic to...eggs!" He turned his Sharingan on.<br>"Eep! Okay, fine, fine, I'll leave you alone!" I came over to Mr. Potter next.  
>"Hello, Harry. What brings you here on this fine spring evening?" I asked in a fake British accent.<br>"Avada Kedrava!" He poked my stomach.  
>"Ow, I'm dying! Somebody help! I'm dying!"<br>"That actually worked?"  
>"No, you idiot!"I took a picture of him then went to Itachi.<br>"Okay, Ita-kun I'll just make this short and sweet. You turn around and let me take your picture, then we're done." He wouldn't turn around. I walked to the other side of him and he just turned away...again!"  
>"Okay, if you don't let me then I'll...throw cookies at you! I will throw all the cookies at you until you let me take a picture!"<br>"Hn." I threw one, then another, and another. After the first ten, I gave up.  
>"Argh! Waste of cookie!" Then I came up with another brilliant idea. "Ita-kun, I'll buy you dango~" Didn't take long for him to give in after that. Moving on! I am skipping Orochimaru because he is just too creepy for my tastes..Ok, Akira.<br>"Picture time carrot girl." She faced me with a mouth full of cookies and I took the picture.  
>"Hey! I want a retake, that did not show my beatifulness!"<br>"Is beautifullness even a word?"  
>"I don't know nor do I care. Here have a cookie." I took it and bit it...hm, this isn't so bad. I had some more cookies...why were we here again?<p>

* * *

><p><strong>Akira POV<strong>

Awwwww, Rina just took the last cookie! Whyy! Nii-san would have to buy me lots of cookies, I felt like in need of sugar... lots of sugar! Or I might have tried baking cookies in the hideout with Tobi... probably this would end up in a big boom! that would make Deidara proud. I gotta do this!  
>I reached for the cookies jar, forgetting it was empty, and didn't find anything. "Oro! I want cookies. Give me cookies!"<br>"Harry! Give your love cookies!"  
>"Not love, experiment! And we don't have anymore cookies."<br>"Then we're out." I said, then simply took Rina and Ita-kun's hands and dragged them to the exit. Incredibly enough, no one tried to stop us... because they were doing something else... Sasuke was fighting with the pink Zetsu costume which wouldn't let him out, Kabuto was sharpening some scalpels, and Oro was... do I even wanna know why he's under the table? Probably, but Rina would say I'm too curious and annoying for my age.  
>When we got out, the Akatsuki was plotting over a map of Oro's hideout, and I swear I saw a carrot pop up from Nagato's head when he saw us. So he pops carrots when he's surprised. To remember for blackmail. Oh, and I had to set him up with Konan too... easy, I'm a master for this! Mwahahahahaah! But for sure I'll tell Rina to install some video cameras...<br>"Akira, I thought you died, thank me you're alive!" Carrot-popper came and yuck! hugged me.  
>"Not in public, nii-san!" I said, pushing him away. "And of course we're alive. Why?"<br>"I thought you'd commit suicide if you didn't see Itachi for five minutes." he muttered.  
>"Oh, thanks for reminding me. You, Konan, tonight, the great dining room. Don't even try to stop me from stalking you."<br>"What?"  
>"Don't ask." I shrugged, then...<br>"Maybe we can have the dinner together too?" **, the only thing I want now is a puppet-boy on my mind!  
>"No. Never. Not going to happen. I'm taken. Actually, not for good, I'm taken as much as Rina is, so never. Don't even try. NOT INTERESTED." I growled.<br>"You sure are a merciless one..." Itachi muttered from his place, and I turned around to snicker to him.  
>"Says the one who slaughtered his whole clan..."<p>

...

…

..  
>Awkward silence.<br>"Let's go home! I need to get ready for... uhh... y'know..." Nagato said, and I shrugged and followed him, starting a talk about Konan.

* * *

><p>Kirina's ability thing really needs a name...any ideas? That was relatively short, I guess. Oh well, reviews please! I will send you pictures of Sasuke in a bunny suit! Bye!<p> 


	8. The Date!

**The Date!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto!**

* * *

><p><strong>Akira POV<strong>

"Listen to your heart... there's nothing else you can do..." I sang in a completely false tone, collapsing on the floor in my brother's room.  
>"Kira, you're hurting my ears!"<br>"I thought the piercings hurt your ears..."  
>"Don't be such a smartass and tell me what you did now!"<br>"Okayz, mum... I got a little kinky with the hot guy at the party last night... what do you think I did? Any normal person would figure it out! I set you and Konan up only for her to let Rina and me go and see shiny again!"  
>"Konan wouldn't agree..."<br>"I used blackmail too. Why do you think I spend my time stalking people?"

"Okayz, time to get ya dressed up properly! Let me look at what you've got there..." I said, and rushed to look in his drawer. Akatsuki uniform, boxers with Akatsuki clouds, more Akatsuki uniforms, alternative piercings... boooring! "How does that girl actually love you? You're too boring!"  
>"Shut up and tell me what to try on!"<br>"Okay, try this on." I said, showing him a rapper costume. He was O.o, but went in the bathroom to put it on. Don't ask me where I got it from, not from my ex-boyfriend...*guilty eyeroll*  
>"I look like hell!" Gato yelled from the bathroom, still not coming out.<br>"I know! I just wanna see how hellish!"  
>"I hate you... I so hate you... why don't you just die? Just like this..." he muttered coming out.<br>I tried hard to keep my face serious, but I looked like I had eaten something moldy and had to go fast to the toilet, so I just laughed my mind off, until a punch came straight on my back.  
>"Hate you." I spit out at Pein, who grinned evilly.<br>A hundred more outfits, a hundred times more anger, a hundred punches that sweetly bruised my back from neck to waistline, and my final decision was that he looked best with the Akatsuki uniform. Yeah, anime sweatdrops.  
>"Now, you gotta talk about something with her. What?" I asked, hoping for a good answer that naturally didn't come.<br>"The Akatsuki?"  
>"No..."<br>"You?"  
>"You guys actually talk about me? And no, f**k no!"<br>"Okay... then I don't know."  
>"Her! You talk about her!"<br>"Why?"

"Because girls like to think they're the main point of your universes and that you want to know everything about them!" I said, with an exasperated tone. "And whatever she says- is the most fascinating thing you've ever heard..."  
>"And what if she says something stupid...?"<br>"It is interesting... you know, I've never thought of this before... it really is fascinating..."  
>"Really?"<br>"No, idiot! You said something stupid and I tricked you to think I really cared!"  
>"Hate you."<br>"Ditto. If you have any problem just call me mentally through the damn Rin'negan link we have, okayz?"  
>"Hate. You."<br>"I'll take this as a yeah. Rina must be ready with Konan, so good luck, and COMPLIMENT HER!"  
>"Hate. You."<p>

* * *

><p><strong>Kirina POV<strong>

"Konan-chan!"  
>"Yes, Kirina?"<br>"It's time for a makeover! You know what day it is today. Right?" She blushed ever so slightly.  
>"Yeah. I remember...but we don't need a makeover, do we?"<br>"Of course we do! You don't plan on going in your uniform, do you?"  
>"Yes, what's wrong with it?"<br>"The first date is most important! You have to look your best, now come on!" I pulled her into her room and examined her wardrobe.  
>"Akatsuki cloak. More cloaks...black shirt...black shirt...black pants...another cloak. Your clothes are so boring! These will never work!"<br>"Really! What should I do?"  
>"Never fear! The great Kirina is here!" I leaned in and whispered in her ear.<br>"You know, I heard that Pein is going in a rapper outfit."  
>"What!" She was shocked. Her mouth hung open wide.<br>"Therefore, we have to match him!"  
>"Why would Nagato wear...such thing?"<br>"Kira can be convincing...very convincing. But it matches him, you know with the piercings and all." I held out an outfit that I had specially prepared for her. A ripped t-shirt with blue tank top and a pretty nicely ripped skirt too.  
>"What do you think? I ripped them myself!" I held up a kunai grinning mischievously. Konan gasped.<br>"Kirina! Why did you ruin perfectly good clothing like that? I will sew it back right away!" She magically took out a sewing kit.  
>"No! This is called style!" I ran with the clothes and she chased after me.<br>"Let me fix it!"  
>"NEVER! You need to learn real style woman!" We ran and ran in circles and finally, I got dizzy and collapsed.<br>"Aha! Got you now!" She grabbed the clothes but I'm not letting go that easily.  
>"Konan, try this on, please?" I asked with the cutest chibi eyes that I can come up with.<br>"...Aww..fine. But I'm just trying it!" She walked into the bathroom to change and I took out a camera that I had prepared in my pocket.  
>Flash! I got the picture.<br>"Kirina! Why'd you take a picture of me?"  
>"Uhh...I was going to ask Kira for advice on this."<br>"Oh, ok. Does this shirt make me look fat?"  
>"Uhh..kinda. Which is why I had specially prepared this blue dress for you!" I held a dress which is what she is gonna actually wear to the date.<br>"Try it on."  
>"Okay." A few minutes later, Konan came out. She looked fantastic! She was living up to her name, truly an angel.<br>"Wow...Konan you look great!"  
>"Really?"<br>"Yup, you should wear this to the date." She blushed at the mention of date.  
>"But I thought we had to match!"<br>"Nah. That doesn't matter. All that matters is how you look like!"  
>"Okay then, I'm ready!"<br>"Yes you are. Now give me my clothes back."  
>"No!" She clung on to my ripped clothing.<br>"But they're mine!"  
>"No. I will keep it."<p>

"But...but."

"No." And I had to listen because she was already taking paper out of her desk.

* * *

><p><strong>Akira POV<strong>

Good, good, good... now they're out! I met with Kirina in front of Itachi's room (don't ask why, it's the place both of us know where it's situated... duh!).  
>"You managed to convince Pein dress in that rapper costume?" she asked me with a snicker of laughter.<br>"Yep, but my ex looked better. What about Konan's rapper-girl costume?"  
>"Total fail."<br>"Typical... They're too boring..."  
>"Yep." We shared a look of exasperation. Adults are too boring... Good thing I have a year until I become an adult... phew!<br>"So... you have any ideas for spying them without them knowing it?"  
>"Um... We dress in costumes of a carrot and a bunny and go to the restaurant?"<br>"Brilliant! Can't wait! Now really!" I sarcastically said, though weirdly enough 'Superstar' started playing in my head. I thought lately I was obsessed with 'Listen to your heart', not 'Superstar'...  
>"Disguises?"<br>"Of?"  
>"Waiters?"<br>"Ooooh, I've always wanted to be a waiter only to spill food and tomato sauce on customers!"  
>"Tomato sauce smell doesn't come out easy."<br>"I know!" I said, with an evil grin. I just adore to antagonize people... I motioned Rina to go and change her clothes, and then I went into my room to do the same.  
>A few moments later we met again in the same place, but we were dressed in identical waitresses costumes. I had to wear contact lens to hide my Rin'negan eyes, and I swear green went well with my hair!<br>"We're almost identical!" we both said in the same time, then burst out into laughter. "Let's go!"  
>We had to pass through the living room, which was a bigger fail than nii-san's songs. The to-be-expected 'whoah!' and 'WTF is with the costumes?' and 'hm' and 'where are you going?' chimed in from all the parts of the room. Dramatically, I rolled my eyes and stuck my fingers in my ears and continued to walk while Rina was giving some excuses that almost everyone took.<br>"Your cousin has a date and doesn't have money to take her to a restaurant and he's creating one in the backyard and we're helping out of charity? CHARITY AND I? Are you trying to ruin my reputation?" I hissed at Kirina once we were out of the living.  
>"Hey, I tried to make something up from zero, okay?"<br>"I'm not a scout-girl! I'm the sister of the Leader of Akatsuki, Amegakure, I'm a Rin'negan user and I have created massacres some barely dream in their worst nightmares! I don't do charity!"  
>"Okay, okay... why do you mind after all so much?"<br>"I don't think my Ita-kun is to be uninformed about me."  
>"Your Ita-kun?"<br>"Duh!"  
>"Nuh-uh, you didn't say this!"<br>"Okay, okay... now we gotta go and watch the date, then we can continue our yelling contest..."  
>"Fine."<p>

* * *

><p><strong>Kirina POV<strong>

We followed Pein out of the base and onto the busy streets of Ame. At one point we did lose them, but it was easy to find him again. A carrot in a rapper outfit really stands out, you know. Pein fainally stop. Wow, I can't believe this. I really can't belive it. Pein took Konan to...the most crappiest restaurant ever. The paint was chipping, the sign was falling and the roof looked like it was about to collapse with even the slightest touch!  
>"Congratulations, your brother just aced his first date."<br>"I know right!"  
>"He needs some professional help."<br>"How about we take him to see snakey?"  
>"You just want to see his shiny head again!" She nodded.<br>"Yup. SHHHIIINNY!"  
>"Come on, they're going in." We sneaked in the back door. An old lady walked up to us.<br>"Ah. You two must be the new helpers. I forgot, what are your names again?"  
>"Uhh...Carrot." I replied. Dammit! I made a wrong choice in name! I was thinking of Pein and came up with carrot!<br>"What about you?" She asked Kira.  
>"Sonic!" I felt like crying in a corner...<br>"What unique names you two have. Anyways, I'll give you your name tags, then you can go out and serve some customers!" I doubt that anyone even goes here...  
>Surprisingly, the small, rundown restaurant bustled with customer. Kira got her wish. She spilled tomato sauce on the first person who ordered something tomato related. Poor guy. He had a pretty nice, white shirt too. I walked up to our lovely couple.<br>"Hello, may I take your order today?"  
>"Yes, I would like spaghetti and meatballs...extra tomato sauce please." Oh good luck with that one, Konan.<br>"And you sir?"  
>"Same." He replied.<br>"Ok, can I get you two anything to drink?"  
>"Water."<br>"BEER!" Seriously? Beer on your first date. I will not be carrying him back to the base if he starts babbling like a drunk idiot.  
>"Sorry, sir. We don't sell beer."<br>"Oh. Well then I'll have-"  
>"WHAT DO YOU MEAN WE DON'T SELL BEER? OF COURSE WE DO!" An old guy, which I assumed to be the owner of this place, stood up on a chair and yelled. No! He's ruining this! I'm trying not to get leader drunk! I motioned for Kira, who was behind him holding a bowl of soup. She nodded and pretended to slip. Knocking the man down and getting soup all over him.<br>"Ah! My back!"  
>"I'm so sorry sir. I'm new, so I'm just not used to this job yet." Wow, Kira was pretty good at acting.<br>"Hey, Konan, doesn't that girl look like Kira-"  
>"Ah!"I cut him off. "Sir, what would you like to drink."<br>"Water is fine."  
>"Okay, thank you."<br>"Kira, you will not spill food on them."  
>"I will not spill food on my nii-san and his girlfriend." She repeated.<br>"Good. Now go give them the water. Remember, I put the mics in there, so don't mess up."  
>"I won't!" She promised. I decided to go the old fashion way. Hearing devices. I super-glued the mic to the cups and both me and Kira had ear buds on to listen in on their conversation.<p>

* * *

><p><strong>Akira POV<strong>

OMFG, this Rina! Do this, do that, don't do this, don't act-like-a-5-years-old-on-steroids... Oh, gosh... I went to the table, smiled a 200-watt-smile, and put down the glasses of water in an exemplary way, just like I've been a professional waiter since forever. On the way back I murmured to Konan with a thick country accent 'Lucky girl, he's a hot guy!', just because. Oh, and I knew it always works when trying to get a girl like a boy.  
>"What did you do?" Rina asked as soon as I was out of my nii-san and Konan's eyesight.<br>"What tells you I did something?"  
>"You always do something."<br>"Yeah, I did everything right. Kill me for this." I said, raising my hands as a surrender.  
>"It'd make Ita-kun easier to get, but... you're my friend so not gonna kill you..."<br>"Yet." I completed.  
>"Yeah. Now let's see what they're talking about." Rina said, and both of us turned on our ear buds.<p>

...

...  
>"So, Konan, what kind of music do you like?" nii-san asked. He was her best friend or so for such a long time and doesn't know? But at least he was talking about her... Wow, he actually took my advice... that's something new!<br>"Classic, jazz... Akira says I should listen to better stuff, like rock and rap, but not my type..."  
>"Kira is crazy."<br>"Yeah... never knew how she had so many boyfriends."  
>"She did?"<br>"That's something everyone knows. Also her catalog where she writes every embarrassing detail about each of her ex."  
>"Really?" Oh, **, of course I didn't tell you, you'd have killed each of them, you over-protective bastard!<br>"Yeah. Oh, and what do you think of Kirina?"  
>"She's okay, but Kira is corrupting her."<br>"Why don't you do something about Kira? I'm sure she is somehow listening to our conversation right now..."  
>"I know. But I can't. Can't kill her, and she never obeys anyone. Except for... nah, but I think there's... nah... Hell, she killed her first victim at four years old, and her adoptive father couldn't care less about her until he died being tortured by Hanzo's people because he was an Ame traitor, right as she was watching! How do you think she got to be so independent?"<br>"That's so sad... After all... I never knew this..."  
>"I did."<p>

...

...  
>"Kira?" Kirina called.<p>

"What?"  
>"It's true?"<br>"I have a turtle."  
>"What?"<p>

"It's true I have a turtle."

...

...  
>"And how come you dressed so... so?" Konan asked.<br>"Kira. What about you? Because you look gorgeous!"  
>"Really?" the blush was audible in her voice.<br>"Yeah... and... you just leave one speechless and longing..." Wow, very nice, nii-san!  
>"Longing?" Great, she didn't sound mad, she sounded... just like she should!<br>"Yes... captured by your beauty, by your amber eyes, so appealing..." Is this my brother? Cause he finally sounds like he's just as good as me!  
>"Nagato, I..."<p>

...

...  
>I shared a look with Rina and both of us 'gaaaaawh-ed' at unison.<br>"He really is your brother. Just as good at acting."  
>"Not acting, he really meant those things. They love eachother..."<br>"Sweet..."  
>"WHY ARE YOU TWO SITTING THERE DOING NOTHING? TAKE ORDERS!" the same annoying owner of the place, who still hates me, yelled at us. I rolled my eyes and went to take the order from the only table occupied. A guy with his bimbo girlfriend. I hated the girl from the first look... so... tomato sauce- mini skirt; mini skirt-tomato sauce. Say 'nice to meet you...' *evil grin*<br>"Hello, I'll be your waiter for tonight! Can I take your order?" I said, smiling.  
>"I want a tiny salad... and water." the bimbo said.<br>"Shouldn't you get something better, cause I feel sorry for your poor refrigerator tomorrow when you'll snarf it down just because you don't want to look like eating a lot on a date...? But okay from me... and you, sir?" I said, still smiling, and I heard behind me Rina hitting something.  
>"Akira? Is that you?" the guy said.<br>"Sebastian? I can't believe it!"  
>"Ditto! Last time I saw you... you did beat some sense into me... literally."<br>"You cheated on me with my best enemy."  
>"Sorry... You look gorgeous!"<br>"We're not getting together again. You got yourself a great bimbo."  
>"Who's dumping you!" the girl said, then stood up and rushed out.<br>"So, can I get your order?"  
>"Just kill me..."<br>"Sorry, we can't, it's against the regulations of the restaurant... but I advice you to dress up like Itachi Uchiha and go to Sasuke and say you're going to kill him- this assures you an instant death!" I said, smiling, and poor Sebastian stood up and walked out.  
>"WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?" guess who said this sweetly. Hint- two people, one of them hates my guts, and the other thinks I always do something.<br>"Nothing?"*guilty look*  
>"I retire! Mom, you'll be the owner from now on!" the ex-owner of the restaurant said, throwing the name tag at the old lady who gave us ours.<br>"Wow, he should go see some professional help.. meaning snakey..."  
>"Shiny-addict!<br>"SHINYYYYYYY!"

* * *

><p>We finally updated! But this was really long! Nearing 3000 words, one of the longest I've written…but I didn't write all of this so…yeah! Reviews please(Or we'll crash your first date!) Bye!<p> 


	9. Secret Stalking System Revealed

**Secret Stalking System-Revealed**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto**

* * *

><p><strong>Kirina POV<strong>

"Are you ready for this?"  
>"I was born ready." I stared Kira down. There was no way I'd lose this time.<br>"Ready, set, go!"  
>"ITACHI-KUN IS MINE!"<br>"NO! WEASEL-KUN IS MINE!"  
>"DIDN'T I TELL YOU THAT WEASELS ARE MY FAVORITE ANIMAL?"<br>"I DON'T CARE! BECAUSE ITACHI-WEASEL-KUN IS KAWAII!"  
>"KAWAII AND MINE! SO BACK OFF!"<br>"WHO YA TELLING TO BACK OFF? KIRA, YOU MIGHT BE MY FRIEND, BUT YOU'RE ALSO MY RIVAL, SO YOU BACK OFF!"  
>"PSCH, LIKE I CARE! IF YOU DON'T LET ME HAVE HIM, THEN I'LL TELL EVERYONE YOUR DEEPEST, DARKEST SECRET!"<br>"YOU WOULDN'T!"  
>"TRY ME!" I stared. She stared.<br>"I WILL NEVER LET YOU HAVE HIM!"  
>"HEY EVERYONE, KIRINA LIKES TO-" at that moment, the door opened, revealing a weasel, with bags under his eyes, Sharingan activated, with really messed up hair.<br>"Heh heh, good morning Itachi-kun." I said with a little wave.  
>"Explain." He growled.<br>"We were just trying to settle something with each other." I 'explained'.  
>"Outside of my room?" I don't think my explanation worked...<br>"No! This is a declaration of love for you!" Good going Kira.  
>"What?" He was confused.<br>"The enemy is stunned! Let's go, Kira!" We ran away before he could Sharingan us to death or something within those lines.  
>"We will continue this contest later."<br>"You bet, and I won't lose!"

"Kira, I know that you're not really good at finding hiding places and all, but please tell me why we are in your nii-san's room!"  
>"You'll see, you'll see."<br>"This better be good." Soon, Pein came in...with Konan. I think I see what she's talking about.  
>"Are you sure this is okay?" I whispered.<br>"Yeah, just keep quiet. We can spy on them and hide. How nice is that?"  
>"What if they start doing something inappropriate?"<p>

"..."

"We're only seventeen you know."  
>"Well, what do you want me to do now? Run out and attack them?"<br>"If that's the only option left, then yes."  
>"Let me think about it."<br>"Don't take too long."

* * *

><p><strong>Akira POV<strong>

Hmmmmmmm... I think I have to take care of my friend-rival not to be scared for life... I was used to this kinda information, cause I'm a professional stalker, duh! But... nii-san please be decent!  
>"Konan... I want to tell you... I love you... more than anything in this life... words are not enough to tell you how much I love you..." Nagato said, losing himself in her eyes... bleeaaaaaah! Such a cliche!<br>"Then show me..."  
>Pein snickered, then bent down to kiss her gently. Rina was watching everything with big eyes, while my eyes were rolling... which was a funny effect with the Rin'negan being concentric and all...<br>But his hands already moved too low for a minor like Rina to watch... so I elbowed her and motioned to watch me. With a sigh of regret, I opened a trapdoor in the floor and descended down. She followed me with a face like 'wtf?'.  
>"Welcome to the great tunnels of Akira. Which room would you like to see?"<br>"What. The. F-k. Is. This. Place?"  
>"A series of tunels I created in order to stalk everyone. Including you, yes, that's why I know you like to..." I started, but Rina put her hand on my big mouth and sent a punch in my arm.<br>"Okay. Well... I wish to go to my room, if you don't mind..."  
>"No visit in your nii-san's room? Or Itachi's room? Or... Zetsu's room?"<br>"No, no, don't do this... stalking is a sin..."  
>"We can pull pranks... I know you want..." I murmured.<br>"No... I'm trying to quit this..."  
>"Tried an anti-pranks plaster?"<br>"What?"  
>"Wake up, dear, it's your natural talent! You can't say no to it! Just like it's my goal in life to make my brother's hair go white from the stress!"<br>"I dunno... I shouldn't..."  
>"Saaaaay it..."<br>"Okay, we'll pull pranks on everyone! Happy?"  
>"Very! Okay, let's get it started!"<p>

**Kirina POV**

"Do you have a fake $100 bill and some string?" I asked.  
>"Uhh, no?"<br>"Okay, do you know where we can find some? You are the master in this base."  
>"Flattering will get you nowhere."<br>"Just sayin."  
>"Kisame's room, you can find some string and Hidan always has fake money."<br>"Okay! Let's go to Kisame-nii's first!" Kira led me into a series of twists and turns, until we appeared under a blue door. She slowly opened it and peeked.  
><em>"I'm blue (da ba dee...)<br>I'm blue (da ba dee...)_

I have a blue house with a blue window  
>Blue is the color of all that I wear<br>Blue are the streets and all the trees are too  
>I have a girlfriend and she is so blue<br>Blue are the people here that walk around  
>Blue like my Corvette it's standing outside<br>Blue are the words I say and what I think  
>Blue are the feeling that live inside me<p>

I'm blue (da ba dee...)  
>I'm blue (da ba dee...)<p>

" There was Kisame, in Nemo boxers, singing.  
>"Did you bring a camera?" I asked Kira. She held one out.<br>"I never come unprepared." I grinned and aimed the camera at Kisame's dancing figure. Flash! Oh s***! The camera made a sound...  
>"Hm?" Fishy stopped singing. "Did I just hear something?" Kira pushed me down and closed the lid.<br>"That was close." She sighed.  
>"And you call yourself a master at stalking. You don't even have a silent camera." She stuck her tongue out.<br>"Hey, at least we didn't die!" She opened the door again. Kisame continued singing as if nothing had happened.  
>"Under the sea, under the sea."<br>"Kisame should enter a singing contest." I nodded in agreement.  
>"Akira, how will we be able to get the string without him noticing?"<br>"Can you do a henge?"  
>"Yeah."<br>"Okay, see that fishing rod over there?" She pointed to one in the far corner. "Transform into a fish, I'll throw you up and you get the string."  
>"Okay." I did the handsigns and turned into a fish. Kira threw me into the room and I flopped towards my target.<br>Suddenly, Kisame stopped singing.  
>"Hey there, buddy. Did you jump out of your tank? You poor thing." He threw me into his giant aquarium. "There you go." I'm gonna suffocate! I will drown! Get me out!<br>Kisame threw on his cloak, took Samehada and went outside. Once I knew that he was out, I turned into human again and swam out of there. I jumped out, drenched in water with seaweed hanging from my head. I think some of the fish were surprised at my sudden change, at least half of them either passed out or died. Sorry Kisame...  
>I quickly grabbed the pole and got the hell out. I'm about to catch a cold.<br>"Achoo!"  
>"If you're sick then get away from me."<br>"You heartless...monster! I'm in a half dying state and all you do is stand and laugh!"  
>"Okay, okay. You go change and warm yourself up while I get the money from Hidan, then I'll meet you in your room."<br>"Fine, which way's my room."  
>"Over there." She gave me the directions to my room and we parted. This is one of the deadliest pranks I've ever done…<p>

* * *

><p><strong>Akira POV<strong>

Okay... left left right and straight ahead. I know those tunnels as well as my brother's repertoire of songs. Okay, a wooden trapdoor with blood on the sides. Greaaaaat... that was the one that led to Hidan's room.  
>I peeked inside- he was praying with that sharp thingie in his chest. Bleah, more blood... doesn't he ever get tired of it? I swear his heart will once have a... heart attack because of the stress...<br>I looked to see if he had his eyes closed, and yeah, gods are on my side! Without making any sound, I sneaked out. I just hoped my cloak would be tight enough not to make ruffling sounds... Like everything I want happens. From the first two steps a 'fush, fush' sound echoed in the whole room. Don't turn around, don't turn around...!  
>"Oi, b***h, what are you f***ing doing here?"<br>"Ummmmm... trying to get some fake money from you so Rina and I can pull a prank on Kakuzu?" I tried, hoping the truth would make me forgivable, along with my puppy-eyes-of-doom.  
>"If that's the case... take whatever s**t you want and get the f**k out! I'm f***ing trying to pray here, for Jashin-sama's sake!"<br>With a happy sigh, I grabbed some fake dollars. Hidan returned to his ritual and I went out like a normal person through the door to Rina's room, still not beliving it was that easy...  
>"Rinaaaaaaaaaa! Open up!" I yelled, knocking at the door.<br>"What do you want? Are you ready so soon?"  
>"Duh! I told you I'm a master of deciving and very subtle stuff. I needed all my talent of lying and it was so hard to get those money... what you did was not risky! What I did was live-endangering more than whatever you'd ever dream of doing!" I lied my ss off, and Rina seemed to bite it.<br>"Oh, really...? Then... are you alright?"  
>"Except for my ego, yes!" I said, pretending to be morally hurt.<br>"Sorry, sorry, okay?"  
>"Okay, okay. Are you ready?"<br>"I was born ready!"  
>"Then Kakuzu's room- here we come!"<p>

**Kirina POV**

Hehehe, ol' Kakuzu, you'd better prepare for the heart attack of your life! We were in the underground tunnel again.  
>"Here it is." Kira pointed to a room with a dollar sign on it. Well that was easy...<br>"Okay, Kira, take these." I handed her the money with string attached and a fan.  
>"A fan!"<br>"It's just for show. I want you to go up in his room, put the fan on his desk and turn it on. Then open the windows. Finally, put the money somewhere randomly in his room and give the string back to me."  
>"Yes Madam!" She opened the door, looked around to make sure that no one was there and ninja jumped up. Kira did exactly what I told her, turn on fan, open windows and put down money. This is coming together perfectly.<br>"Here's the string."  
>"Thank you." I said as I took the string.<br>"What next?"  
>"We waited." And wait we did. We waited, then waited, and waited some more.<br>"WHAT'S TAKING THAT OLD FART SO LONG? I'M GROWING A F***ING BEARD HERE!"  
>"Patience, Kira. He'll be here soon. You'll get us exposed if you shout like that!"<br>"It's true! I am growing a beard!" She showed me her chin, I touched it.  
>"It's perfectly normal."<br>"No it's not! At this rate, I'll have to borrow some shaving cream from Itachi-kun!"  
>"Itachi shaves?" I just couldn't imagine him in front of a mirror, face full of shaving cream. That thought made me laugh.<br>"What chu laughing at?"  
>"Nothing, nothing." Soon, we heard Kakuzu's voice.<br>"Five dollars!"  
>"What? It's just five dollars, cheap a$$hole."<br>"Hidan, I can live a whole month with five cents and you spend FIVE DOLLARS on a pack of toothpaste!"  
>"How do you F***ING live? Five cents? Jashin-sama would kill me if I used five cents a month." Hidan follows such a weird religion.<p>

Kakuzu came into his room...alone. Thank God, I do not need a certain religious silver-haired dude to mess up my plan.  
>"Money, money, money." He sang. Almost there. In three...two..one! Kakuzu jumped up at the sight of the green piece of paper.<br>"LUCKY!" He skipped over to his bed and held up a hot pink teddy bear.  
>"Guess what, Fluffentina? I just found one hundred dollars! This must be my lucky day! I'm gonna go pick it up now. Watch me, okay?" He put the bear upright, facing him. I readied myself. He bent down and...I yanked it far from his reach. Kira snickered.<br>"Good plan."  
>"Gah! Why did it move?" He looked around. "Must be the fan!" He turned it off and dived for the money. I made it fly over his head.<br>"Where are you going, my precious baby!" He whipped his head back and forth.  
>"Argh! Damn you, window!" He slammed all of his windows shut. "Now, my beautiful, you are mine!" He ran there this time.<br>"Sh**!" I muttered. Too fast. I reeled the money in.  
>"Huh? Where did you go?" He tapped on the door.<br>"Run." I told Kira.  
>"But what if he finds out about my secret stalking system?" I thought about that.<br>" We'll both go upstairs and distract him!"  
>"Okay, let's do this!"<p>

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><p><strong>Akira POV<strong>

I'm never going to get a friend again. Never. Not if my precious, treasured, loved, adored stalking tunnel system is put into danger. Never I say!  
>I halfwalked-halfran through the tunnels to the closest trapdoor, which led into a random hallway. Rina followed me as I knocked at Kakuzu's door.<br>"Hey, Kakuzu-san! Open up!" I yelled while knocking on the door.  
>"What do you want? I have just lost some money in the ground and I have no idea where they went!" he said, with a red face because of the anger.<br>"Hidan said you're an old fart." Rina said.  
>"Money is more important!"<br>"There's a teddy bears buy sale in Suna. Apparently the Kazekage is having a garage-sale. So lots of cheap teddies!" I tried.  
>"Money is MORE important, why can't you get this?"<br>"Ummmmm..." I looked at Rina, who didn't have any idea either.  
>"Now, did you bother me just for that?"<br>"Ummmmmmmmm... we were thinking about... learning about you!" Rina said, and I could visualize the smart-idea lightbulb above her head popping. I looked at her like WTF, but she shrugged. Well, best idea so far? Nah, the single stupid idea that worked.  
>"Learn about me?"<br>"Yeah. You're not very popular, you don't have many fangirls, you're not a cool-headed Uchiha, you don't have such a silky hair... but you must have something cool! And we wanna find out what! I mean... some girls say you're badass. We wanna see if it's true!" I completed. As usual, I could work out a story from the bare idea. Most of the time I didn't have the idea... but that's what Rina's for, right?  
>"Hmmmmm... girls say I'm badass?"<br>"Yeah, girls." I said, though in my mind I was completing with 'that have lost their minds'. But... less Itachi fangirls, less headaches for me, right?  
>"Then... come in." he said, getting from the doorway.<br>We both stepped in. I knew his room was completely covered in money, but for Rina it was a shock. I heard her let out a small 'wow', and I sighed. Now we were stuck with a old fart trying to find something cool in him. Great, great, thank you a lot, Kirina!  
>"Soooooo... I love money. I don't love Hidan." Kakuzu said, and I giggled. Okay, so KakuHida fics are kinda hot. And I'm nuts after hot yaoi. Yeah, sick mind, whatever.<br>"Then... who do you love?"  
>"I dunno... I have a fetish for women with money.<p>

" Yeah, expected. Like the Kages."  
>Rina and I shared a look of shock. "Like... Tsunade? Or Mei Terumi?" she said.<br>"Yeah."  
>"But Konan is also almost the leader of Ame. So...?"<br>"Yeah. Too bad your brother has her."  
>"What? You like Konan?"<br>"I like her money..."  
>"But you also like the hokage and the mizukage?"<br>"Yeah. More like that mizukage lady."  
>"What the f**k, you sick perverted old fart! She is the leader of my village!" Rina burst out, then took my wrist and pulled me out of Kakuzu's room, who was looking weirdly at us.<br>As soon as we were out, we went into her room to gossip like old ladies.  
>"Kakuzu and Konan?"<br>"I know!"  
>"What a crack!"<br>"Horror!"  
>"What if your brother finds out?"<br>"Then Kakuzu will be shinra-ed obsesively compulsively. Why?"  
>"Poor Kakuzu..."<br>"Heh, poor rich women."  
>"Good thing I ain't rich."<br>"Well... I'm the sister of the Leader of Ame... do you think it's the case for me too?"  
>"Nah, you're too young for him..."<br>"So is Konan..."  
>"Sh*t, you're right! Oh, goddamn it! I hope it's not the case..."<br>"Hope all you want..."  
>"I should tell Nagato."<br>"Nah, it's funnier not to tell him..."  
>"You sick mind."<br>"Hey, I almost drowned because of you, so..."  
>"It was an accident..." I tried excusing myself, but it didn't work...<br>"Accident my ass! You want Weasel-kun just for yourself!"  
>"Sh*t yeah!"<br>"YOU WON'T HAVE HIM! HE'S MINE!"  
>"Don't start..."<br>"Kay...

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><p>Another long chapter…-_-<p> 


	10. Sugar Wars

**Sugar Wars**

**Disclaimer: Do you think that I would still write Fanfics if I owned Naruto? I think not.**

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><p><strong>Akira POV<strong>

"Why the hell do I have to do the grocery?" I said angrily, letting the grocery bags fall on the floor.  
>"'Cause someone has pointed to me that you don't do anything useful for the base lately, so I fixed this." Nii-san said, trying to avoid looking guilty around, and not succeeding. The only secret he kept for longer than two seconds was that one with 'the real leader of Akatsuki blah blah'... like f**k whatever. I only care about Ita-kun, duh!<br>Speaking of which... why is Rina so close to him? And saying she's having a conversation with him doesn't work- cause she does all the talking. Soooo... yeah, she was my brother's secret informer. Great friend... but this time I won't take my revenge. Only this time. Just to try it.  
>"Okayz, no problem." I forced a smile. "By the way, there are a lot of Konoha shinobi up there trying to crush the boulder. They were singing something in very raspy voices about cookies..."<br>"WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME THIS FIRST BEFORE YOU TALKED WITH YOURSELF FOR A MINUTE?"  
>"Because it was more important!" I stuck my tongue out at him, and then ran before Pein could catch me and torture me for the next several hours. Well, after he got over with the Konoha shinobi situation...<br>When I got to my room and wanted to jump on the bed, I saw it was already occupied... not by any hottie, but by... Tobi. Who was eating cookies.  
>"Ummmmmm... Akira-chan... Tobi can explain!" he said, jumping up.<br>"O-kay... Let's hear. I'm up for dark comedies lately..."  
>"Well... Tobi went to Konoha and 'borrowed' all their sweeties. Want some?"<br>"Hell yeah!" I said, joining him and starting a contest of eating more cookies. And there were thousands of cookies, so in the end I must have had more than 10 pounds extra.  
>Suddenly a knock was heard in the door. Being too lazy to stand up, I yelled 'come in'. Rina and Itachi entered.<br>"Leader said you have to come to... OMFG WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?" Rina yelled, and I swear I even saw Itachi's eyes widening a little.  
>"Sweets fest. Wanna have some?"<br>"Well..."  
>"We have dango."<br>"Give me my dango!" Itachi said, reaching for the tons of dango sticks.  
>"Okay. Rina. We have..."<br>"You have everything I want- Itachi and sweets!" she said, jumping in the mountain of sweets.  
>"Cheers!" I said, smiling with my mouth full of different sugary stuff.<p>

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><p><strong>Kirina POV<strong>

Chocolate...I'm in Heaven! Even though a part of me yelled 'think of the calories! CALORIES!' the Devil urged me to go on and gorge myself with the chocolaty goodness. It was like a dream, it's there one moment and the next, all the sweets were gone. The four of us leaned back and rubbed our fat bellies. Then, all Hell broke loose.  
>WE were in paradise, and then the ground starts shaking. Tobi covered his ears with his hands and screamed.<br>"TOBI DOESN'T LIKE EARTHQUAKES! HELP ME WEASEL-CHAN!" He hid behind Itachi.  
>"Hey, that's my spot!" Kira yelled. She pushed Tobi away and hid behind Itachi.<br>"NO! AKIRA-CHAN IS A BAD GIRL!" He pushed. Soon, they started fighting for a spot behind Itachi.  
>"It sucks that you don't have a bigger back, ne?" I teased. He shot me a look that said 'fix this'. I smirked and nodded. Focusing chakra on my hands, I pushed them both into the opposite wall. Then, I put my back on Itachi's.<br>"Mine!" I declared. Kira was not happy.  
>"What do you mean yours?" She tried to push me away, failing miserably. Tobi started crying in the corner. Itachi didn't give a shit about what had happened. Kira had her Rinnegan and was about to use it when the earthquake caught up to us.<br>About 20 furious Konoha ninjas burst through Tobi's door. Kakuzu will have a fit when he sees this. The door was busted, there were footprints all over the carpet, the bed was dirty with the sweets and broke because we were all too fat, and on top of all that, we have some intruders in here glaring daggers at us. The ringleader of them all: Akimichi Choji.  
>"MY SWEETS! KONOHA, ATTACK!" They did not come here to capture the tailed-beasts, nor us. They had the perfect chance to try and capture a bunch of S-ranked criminals, instead they come here for SWEETS. Are they stupid or what? Itachi got up and ready.<br>"Aww, you're leaving already, Itachi-kun. I was having some much fun!" I glanced at Kira and she had steam coming out of her ears. Haha, its so fun to tease her. I'm getting tired of being lazy, time to fight!  
>"Kira, you coming or not?" I asked.<br>"Of course I am." She said, voice dripping with venom on every syllable.  
>"You should contact your bro to come and babysit Tobi." I pointed to the masked boy who was still sobbing and had started to suck his thumb. He has problems, serious problems.<br>"Should I tell him that we have intruders here?"  
>"Nah, he'll figure out once he gets here."<br>"He'll have a fit."  
>"Even better. Entertainment." She grinned. I grinned. This will be good.<p>

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><p><strong>Akira POV<strong>

I. Can. Not. Believe. What. She. Just. Did.  
>Nope, this is not getting away from me... I had to get my revenge... Hmmmm... think, Kira, think..<br>But of course! How could I forget about HIM? The secret weapon I told myself to use later? When I found out about it I had that Oro-like grin on my face... HOW COULD I HAVE FORGOTTEN?  
>Back to our sheep... I contacted nii-san through the Rin'negan link, and told him Tobi was crying and saying he wants Leader-mommy-sama. He mumbled and said we shouldn't do anything, and I told him he was not the tenth part as furious as I was, and then I refused to tell him why. Well, at least teasing him will always be there for me...:3<br>So Rina and I leaned against the wall waiting for Pein to come and incredibly enough following his orders. The Konoha shinobi were searching everywhere for the stolen candies, including under Tobi, who was apparently incredibly heavy (it took two men to lift him up).  
>"So say, Rina-chan... Doing anything in the weekend?"<br>"Nope, why?"  
>"Well, I want a little change of my program. Wanna go shopping?"<br>"What?" she looked at me as if I was an alien. Everyone knew I hated every kind of shopping...  
>"Well... you know, cute guys pop randomly in shops like Itachi did. Well, along with a whole lotta less hotter guys and a girl, but still. So..."<br>"So change in your program equals taking a break from stalking Ita-kun?"  
>"Kinda." I said, continuing in my mind with 'it's more like stalking you go out on a set date with HIM'. I had two days to talk with some contact of mine in order to set everything up. Mwahahahahahaahaha-cough-cough...<br>"Hmmmm... okay, only so you don't see more Ita-kun than me."  
>"Fine with me..."<br>Then the best diversion for Rina not to question me anymore was nii-san appearing like a tornado from the corner and seeing the Konoha shinobi around.  
>"WTF?"<br>"You Akatsuki stole our candies. And hid them all."  
>"What?"<br>"Nope, they're uninformed. We ATE them all." I said.  
>Then hell broke loose. Again. Everyone started yelling. And yelling. And fighting with anyone they saw. And this will sure make Kakuzu have five heart attacks in the same time. Poor him...<br>And the situation is saved again by Konan! Who randomly came and made them all get a break in the corner like kindergarten kids. And then Pein had to pay for the sweets (again, poor Kakuzu... those things were expensive...). And then he turned to me. He looked like he wanted to say something, but then apparently changed his mind. He took Konan's hand led her out of our sight. Ooooh, I have a feeling someone feels naughty! Well... and stressed. A good way to get rid of stress, ne?  
>But didn't we forget about something?<br>"Rina, don't you have a feeling you forgot something?"  
>"Yep, you too?"<br>"Mayb-... Tobi!"  
>"Yeah, Tobi!"<br>"You go babysit him, because because of you he's crying!"  
>"Sh*t..."<p>

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><p><strong>Kirina POV<strong>

I stared after Kira's retreating figure. Then at the wailing Tobi. Back and forth, I stared. What. To. Do. Now?  
>"Hey Itachi-kun, do you know how to stop a crazy, hyperactive, orange-masked boy from crying?" He looked at me with a 'WTF' look on his face.<br>"I'm serious, how do you?"  
>"Make him laugh?" He suggested. I thought about it. I ammmm good at making people laugh, why not?<br>"Tobi-channnn~"  
>"What?"<br>"Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?"  
>"Mommy?"<br>"Uhhh...no. Its Spongebob."  
>"Tobi is wrong? Tobi is not a good boy? Waahhhh!" He continued sobbing. I looked at Itachi for help. He raised his hand, and with a flick of his wrist he...he...he knocked Tobi out! I stared wide-eyed at him.<br>"What'd you do that for?"  
>"I thought you wanted me to help."<br>"Yeah, but not like this! You don't treat a kid like this."  
>"I apologize for my lack of parental skills."<br>"You...I...Tobi...UGH!" I flopped back on the bed and closed my eyes. This is just a dream. I told myself. I will wake up, in my room, holding my Itachi plushy. I slapped myself, then got up...and saw the knocked out Tobi. Damn you, reality!  
>"Do you want me to drag him back to his room?"<br>"No, I want you to dig a hole and throw him in it! Of course I want you to drag him back! Do you expect me to do it?"  
>"Hn." Kisame randomly appeared.<br>"He said 'somebody's on their period.'" He translated, then poofed away. Oh, he's gonna get it, and by he, I mean the weasel, not shark boy.  
>"YEAH WELL WHAT IF I AM? DO YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THAT? IT'S PART OF THE NATURAL CYCLE CALLED LIFE! WHAT ARE YA GONNA DO? KILL ME FOR IT!" Itachi just sat there and listened to me lecture. Such patience...too bad, I'll never be like that.<br>"I'll take him to his room now."  
>"Yeah, he needs a nap anyways." He took Tobi by his legs and dragged him out like a dead person.<br>"Hey Itachi." He paused.  
>"I'm really sorry for yelling at you."<br>"Hn." Kisame poofs in again.  
>"He said 'Yeah, you better be sorry. I had to listen to a crazy woman yell at me for nothing'." Sharky disappears again.<br>"UCHIHA!"

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><p>This finally got updated! Yay! *Happy dance* This took so long because of….me. -_-" I was too lazy to write my part for a while. Sooo sorry! As an apology, here's Kakuzu's teddy bear! WHO WANTS IT? Thanks for reading^_^ Bye!<p> 


	11. Revenge, Success?

**Revenge=Success?**

Update alert! Yup! It's an update! The last one was…exactly one month ago-_- hehe yeah, it was that long. Oh well!

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.**

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><p><strong>Akira POV<strong>

Sooooo... it was the weekend! This could only mean one thing... revenge! I got to get my revenge back on Rina for... what did she do to me? Hmmmm... whatever, I couldn't remember, but it must have been something bad, very very bad...  
>So. The HIM I was planning to set her up with was not the best thingie ever. Like... too loud. Yeah, you must have guessed it- Hidan. Kakuzu told me about his little crush on Rina (specifically, Rina's boobs, which gets a big ewwwww for making me visualize this!) Sure, he said he'd never ever f-ing want to date her, but when did I die and wake up caring about whatever others want? ^.^<br>Anyways, I told her that we had to meet at MacDo and get soemthing hipper-caloric to eat (as if the candies were not enough... meh...) I had also talked with Kuzu-chan (meh, anything for a good prank, right?) and he told me that Hidan was bound to be there at the same time. And then I spoke with Konan and nii-san, who owed me a big time (actually, I had blackmailed them with a very nice video about them... meh... there could be minors reading this, so...) to come by and make them go on a wonderful double date. Then I spoke with Sebastian (the guy with the bimbo, my ex, who so wanted to get back together with me... meh, as I said, anything for a good prank...) to go to the same mall as a random pseudo-couple in order to allow me to spy on them. And take all the incriminatory pics I could want. Mwahahahahaha, revenge makes my glycerin level rise... cough cough...  
>So after taking THE short skirt Bastian used to like, I tried to get out of the hideout as unnoticed as possible.<br>But again, passing through the living was a pure hell. Did you know that puppets can whistle? Oh, and sharks are very, very curious...  
>"Oi, Kira-chan, where are you going dressed like this? Do you have a date?"<br>"Date? You know very well I'm after someone..." I said, raising a brow.  
>"Yeah, but what's up with the skirt?" he said, trying (and not succeeding) to stop the blood running down his nose.<br>"It does show my beautifull-ness, right...?" I fluttered my lashes, and smirked seeing the small almost microscopic drop of blood on Ita-kun's face. "See ya, guys...!" I said, and with a very b*tch-like hair flip, I exited the hideout.  
>Half an hour later, I was looking how Pein and Konan talked first with Rina and then with Hidan and all the four of them went off to see a movie. Blackmail pictures, here I come!<p>

* * *

><p><strong>Kirina POV<strong>

Two hours...two hours! That was how long it took for us to arrive at the theater. It was all the guy's fault. First, Pein declared that he would be driving, which led to Hidan questioning his driving skills and then came a ten minute argument in which, Pein won. Then, Konan had took go to the bathroom, taking fifteen minutes. Seriously? Who takes a freakin fifteen minute pee? After that, Pein yelled at Konan for taking so long, which led to a twenty minute fight(Thanks a lot, leader-sama!) while me and Hidan played goldfish with a deck of cards he found in his pocket. Finally, we all got into the car and Pein sped off. During the car ride, Pein decided to show off and went a HUNDRED miles per hour in an area where the speed limit was fifty. Well, guess what our lovely leader did? He crashed, naturally...into a POLICE car to be exact. So after a thirty minute lecture, $350 ticket, and exchanging insurance information later, we finally arrived at the movies. Hidan already called the driver's seat once we get back...  
>"Let's see...what should we watch?" The four of us looked at the list of movies.<br>"I WANT THIS ONE!" Hidan pointed to one of the movies. The Blood Drinker, with a picture of a very pale Dracula look-alike and blood dripping from its fangs.  
>"No way! We're watching this!" Konan pointed to a VERY pink poster with fairies, unicorns, rainbows, all that happy stuff. Happyland was its name.<br>"Oh, f*** no! I ain't watching that, b*tch!" Pein tackled Hidan to the ground for calling Konan a bad name.  
>"Get up! People are staring!" I told them. It was true. The people within a ten feet radius from us all had their eyes at the two on the ground. Damn you Kira! Why did I agree to this?<br>"We will settle this with rock-paper-scissors." Konan suggested. I didn't care since I didn't want to watch either movies.  
>"Fine, bring it on b*tch!" Hidan yelled, which led to Pein tackling him again.<br>"Kirina, go!" I looked at her weird.  
>"What?"<br>"You heard me, you're doing it."  
>"BUT KONAN! I WANT TO GO!" Pein whined.<br>"NO! You suck!"  
>"Then why don't you go?" I pointed out to her.<br>"No, because you have better luck than me!"  
>"Nu uh! I don't even want to watch this!"<br>"FINE! Join his team then!" She pointed at Hidan.  
>"No thank you! I don't want to watch that either!"<br>"Too bad, you're on my team whether you like it or not." I knew there was no fighting her, I reluctantly turned and put my hand out.  
>"Rock-paper-scissors." I looked, I put out scissors and Hidan had rock. Dammit.<br>"Dang! Kirina, you suck!"  
>"I told you so!" Hidan got four tickets, while Pein got food.<br>I hate you, Akira...You'd better watch out, I WILL get you back!

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><p><strong>Akira POV<strong>

So they went to the Dracula movie. Great, just the one I wanted to see! Better than the lovey-dovey stuff Konan wanted to see... Sh*t, I've known her for so long but yet I couldn't make her cooler... mdeh.  
>So Seb and I took our tickets right behind their seats. Oh yeaaaaaaa, here come the pictures! And plus I could easily talk with nii-san like this. Only that I had to conceal my chakra. Well, considering the huge amount of chakra it may get a little hard, but I'll manage.<br>After the lights went off, I started munching on popcorn and watching both the movie and the soap opera in front of me.  
>"Oi, B*tch, give me my f-ing popcorn!"- Hidan to Konan.<br>"Don't ever call her that, you sh*tless bastard!"- Pein to Hidan.  
>"What are you gonna do, f*ck me?"- Hidan to Pein.<br>"Don't fight, guys, you disturb people around!"-Rina to the guys.  
>"Shut up!"-Pein to Rina.<br>"Don't you f-ing dare mess with her, you s*ithead!"- Hidan to Pein.  
>*sigh*- Konan.<br>"Is there anything wrong, angel?"- Pein to Konan.  
>"Just stop fighting. I have the tickets and they're made of paper."<br>*gasp* and everyone shut up for the rest of the... next five minutes.  
>The movie got to a part where teh vampire was kissing a very blonde, huge-boobed b*tch... kinda like Tsunade. And both guys, with synchronized moves, pretended to yawn and put their arms around the girls' shoulders. This time I brought along the silent, non-flashing camera and took pictures without them knowing.<br>Then, the vampire sank his teeth in her neck. Veeeery original, nothing to say... meh. Konan was cool, nii-san was wondering whether to make the next move or not, Rina was damn scared (WTF? Really?) and Hidan was watching Rina. She got very close to him, and my pics were definitely showing them very very close one with the other. Mdeh... okay, revenge taken... but still wanting more...  
>A kiss. I want that! So... I whispered to nii-san to kiss Konan. Sure, he very enthusiastically did it. The other two were looking a bit weird at them... and then... Oh, yea, I got the pic! Mwahahahahahahahaha!<br>"Bye, Seb!" I said, and ran into the sunset aka to my room in the HQ. I put the pic into the printer and made a whole lots of copies, as well as a big poster. And then my quest to put them everywhere possible in the HQ started... Mwahahahahaah! Told ya I'll get my revenge, Rina!

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><p>That's the end of the chapter. Quite short, I know…<p>

Me and Madin456 did a collab story together too! It's called' A Normal Day In the Akatsuki' check it out if you have time on her profile! Thanks for reading!


	12. Fight Fire with Fire

**Fight Fire with Fire**

Hello my dear readers and, hopefully, reviewers:3 This was actually a quick update! That's because I wasn't lazy, for once!

**Disclaimer: Don't own Naruto…**

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><p><strong>Kirina POV<strong>

Ever woke up in bed and felt like something wasn't right? I did. There was something suspicious about the way my room felt. Was it the giggling I hear outside? Maybe it was those whispers. Whatever it was, I don't want to know!  
>Slowly, I got off my bed and shuffled to the door. I felt somebody outside, but they were smart enough to hide their chakra. I flung open the door and the stranger disappeared before I can even see their face. Walking out, I looked up and down the hall. Suspiciously, empty. More giggles, coming from the wall behind. When did walls giggle? I turned around to look.<br>...The wall...Hidan...I...Kiss...Yesterday...Poster...What the..F***!  
>"AHHHHHHHHH!" I glared at the hideous picture before me. My hands curled into a fist as I growled.<br>*The following scene cannot be shown as it includes: random spaz attacks, eye twitching, name calling, EXPICIT language, punching at walls, attempting to rip posters off said wall, failing at removing poster, whining, bashing heads into wall, kicking and more yelling, and...Sasuke pictures...*  
>"Ita-kun, please help me?" I asked in my nicest voice. In which, he stares at me with intimidating Sharigan eyes.<br>"Hn."  
>"Is that a yes?"<br>"No." I pouted.  
>"I'll give you these." In my hands, I fanned out the special edition Sasuke pictures I got from...Orochimaru. I swear, I saw his eyes bulge a little at the sight of those.<br>"Give me..." He looked like a dead zombie.  
>"I will. After you help me!" He quickly nods. "Good. Help me remove these posters please." With ease, he ripped the one next to my room, then proceeded to the rest. In less than an hour, he had finished.<br>"Thank you, Ita-kun! These Sasuke pictures are allll yours!" He took them, the disappeared to what I assume to be his room. Now, time to plot MY revenge.  
>I sat down on my bed and took out a notebook. I labeled the top:<br>Revenge Ideas  
>1. Spread gossip about her<br>2. Take away her most precious item  
>3. Lock her in a room with Tobi<br>4. Lock her in a room with Hidan  
>5. Lock her in a room with her brother<br>6. Throw tomatoes at her  
>7. Kiss Itachi<br>I looked through the list. I can't spread gossip about her, since she probably doesn't care anyways. I don't know what her precious item is. I crossed out one and two. Locking her with Tobi...they'll probably set the room on fire. With Hidan...blood...lots of it..too messy. With Pein...bicker, bicker, argue, argue, yell, yell. Too loud. I crossed three, four, five out too. As for the tomatoes...she'll have more fun than me! Kissing Itachi...I really don't mind that, but he'll kill me just for trying.  
>So, I'm left with nothing. I replayed in my mind about the last thing she did for revenge. As cliched as it might seem, I got an idea. I will fight fire with fire...<p>

* * *

><p><strong>Akira POV<strong>

I woke up next morning with the lovely sound of screams, yells, cussing, walls punching... overall Rina losing her minds more than she already had. Meh, no one is perfect...  
>I was really wondering what she could do to me. I didn't care about gossips cause I knew them all and fake ones never worked, the 'lock me in a room with...' (add the name of someone annoying) didn't work, cause I could easily pick the lock or destroy the room, making me jealous will only make me criminal, and fighting will also make me criminal. So overall I was kinda curious about what she prepared for me, if she actually thought about something.<br>After the long morning habits and untangling my hair (Kami knows how, but my hair always tangles in an ultimate way after I take revenge...) I went to take the breakfast. The smell of burnt stuff hit me and then I knew- it was either a Tobi's a cook day, either a Nii-san is nervous day. Let's hope for the last one!  
>Nope, no luck. Tobi was flipping the ashes of what once had been pancakes, while everyone else was trying to extinguish the oven which was on blue flames. Blue. Yeah, I know, Tobi is incredible... I had thought long ago of taking him to the happy place to entertain Juugo, but no, Tobi is important, Tobi has to be here blah blah...<br>"Hello, Kira!" Rina greeted me with a warm fake smile.  
>"Hn." I answered, making the real user of the 'hn' to turn around surprised.<br>"You had fun last evening?"  
>"Well…" I started, but she cut me off...<p>

* * *

><p><strong>Kirina POV<strong>

I cut Kira off.  
>"Kira..." I sneaked a glance at the other members around. They were staring at me as if they expect me to say something smart and witty. I thought for a while and a smirk creeped out on my face. If it's smart and witty they want, then smart and witty they will get...<br>"Did you know that the average human has five fingers?" Her face was blank. In the background, someone fell over from shock, while Kisame and Hidan just laughed their a** off.  
>"Hu...huh?"<br>"Look, Kisame and Hidan are LMAOing." I pointed to the two idiots behind her.  
>"What?" She looked confused. Time for Professor Kirina to step in and explain. I cleared my throat really professional like.<br>"LMAO, text for laughing my a** off. The two idiots behind you are LMAOing. In other words, Laughing My A** Offing. The alternative is LMFAO, which is a combination of LMAO and F***ing, becoming Laughing my F***ing a** off. Hey! That sounds like something Hidan would use!" Kira just stared at me as if I was not right in the head. Which, technically, was right...?  
>"So..did you have fun last night?" she merely nodded.<br>"I wanted to ask you, are you free tomorrow night?" She frowned and I knew that she was considering my offer, but fearing that I would take revenge.  
>"Don't worry, I'm not going to pair you up with someone while ditching you and hiding with a camera. I'm not THAT evil. Unlike a certain someone..."<br>"How did you...?"  
>"No, I didn't read your mind. I just simply know what you're thinking. So how about it?"<br>"Fine. Time?"  
>"6:30. I'll tell you the place tomorrow ok?"<br>"Okay." I walked away smirking. Part one of my plan finished. As for part two...  
>"Hi, Kakuzu-sannn!" I said with a fake cheery voice.<br>"What do you want?"  
>"How did you know that I want something? I just wanted to visit my bestest friend in the world."<br>"Then go hang out with that other crazy girl."  
>"I already did!" I whined.<br>"Get lost! I'm counting money."  
>"Okay, then I'll get straight to the point. I have a favor to ask you."<br>"I don't do favors."  
>"Thought so. How about five dollars?"<br>"Meh. It's missing a little something." He hinted.  
>"How about five dollars and a gift card to Build-A-Bear?"<br>"Deal. What do you want."  
>"I want you to go to a certain restaurant at six tomorrow night, got that?"<br>"Yeah. Now get out!"

**Akira POV**

"'Paaaain, without loove, paaain, can't get enough, paaaain!'" I sung completely off the tune watching my brother twitch. We were gathered in my room. As usual, I could make him do anything I wanted to. And I wanted a lot.  
>"Kira."<br>"'...cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at a...' What?"  
>"What do you want?"<br>"Hmmmmm... I wonder... can you find out who am I actually dating tomorrow?"  
>"Sure. What do I get?"<br>"Hmmmm... let me think... I'll make the kitchen clean."  
>"You mean you'll clean the kitchen?"<br>"No."  
>"O-kay... then..." he stood up, opened the door of my room and dragged a random member that happened to be passing by in the room. Much to his luck, it was Kisame. He looked from me to Nii-san, then ran into a corner. Nii-san and I shared a look like 'WTF?'.<br>"Uh... Kisame-san?" I tried, but he just clung harder to Samehada. Okayyyy... "What's wrong?"  
>"Scarry Rin'negan!" he cried.<br>O.o'... "Nii-san, I think one of us needs to deactivate it... not me!"  
>"Neither me!"<br>"Well... let me try something. Kisame-san, can you tell me what is Rina planning for tomorrow evening and I'll let you leave then."  
>"!" he said in one breath. It took me a while to understand everything, but then I let him run away like a rat... okay, fish.<br>"Kakuzu?"  
>"Yeah, didn't I tell you? He's got a thing for women with money, no matter the age. I'm the sister of the leader of a Hidden Village, so I have theoretically a lot of money." I shrugged.<br>"Okay. What's the plan?"  
>"I'll improvise..."<br>"That's all?"  
>"Well, you know I can handle everything well..."<br>"Fine then. Anything I can do?"  
>"Nah... well... nup, not a thing. Now... tell Zetsu I have Rose as a hostige and if the kitchen will not be clean she'll die. Arigato!"^.^<br>Next evening, I was looking very classy when I went to the restaurant. Just as I expected, and Rina expected, Kakuzu was there wearing a very expensive looking suit. Meh... my last boyfriend was always casual, and the one before the last one was a punk rocker. A little variation doesn't hurt, ne?  
>"Hey, how are you doing?" I greeted him warmly with a one-hundreed-watt-smile.<br>"Fine. You look great!"  
>"Thanks! I tried my best!"<br>"The effort paid off. So, shall we?" Typical for him to use the verb 'to pay' in any 15 words.  
>"Sure!" I said, and saw the restaurant was very expensive-looking, with crystal and all.<br>"Oh, and I got you something!" he said, handing me a velvet cassette. I opened it and saw the most beautiful necklace with amber stones and gold.  
>"It's beautiful! Would you mind helping me put it on?" I said, not faking the excitement.<br>"Sure!' I swept my hair off my neck, and inside I was grinning mischievously. Well, this thing came with cute things, good food and free stuff overall! Thank you, Rina!

* * *

><p><strong>Kirina POV<strong>

A few tables away, I watched those two. It seems like Kira already knew who she was seeing. Hm. If I find out who told her, I will kick their sorry ass! Anyways, I watched as Kakuzu put the necklace on Kira...no, no, no, scratch that. I saw Kakuzu put on the fake necklace on Kira. She looked pretty happy about it too.  
>"Excuse me Miss, would you like some more water?" I directed my attention to the cute waiter in front of me.<br>"Yes, please."  
>"And you, sir?"<br>"Yeah." Oh, almost forgot, I did drag a certain someone with me to watch, aka, pay the bill.  
>"I still don't get why I have to come along ,un. There's nothing interesting here to see."<br>"Nothing? Deidara, look to your right."  
>"I still don't see anything!"<br>"Baka! Your other right."  
>"Oh...Hey! There's Kakuzu and Akira-chan! Are they on a date, un?" I nodded.<br>"Kind of. I just, might've set the up."  
>"Revenge, un?"<br>"Yeah."  
>"Is it about the Hidan thing,un?" I nod again. Moment of silence...<br>"Do you like him, un?" That question caught me off guard.  
>"Um...no. I don't think so."<br>"Oh, okay, un." He said with a somewhat relieved look on his face.  
>"Something wrong?" I asked.<br>"No." Suddenly, a clang was heard across the restaurant, followed by a crash and a string of 'sorry'. The show has started.  
>I watched in amusement, as the waiter serving those two, tripped and nearly smashed a plate of spaghetti and meatballs into Kakuzu's face. After that, another waiter threw a bunch of tater tots at him. Then, snapped.<br>"ARGH! THAT'S ENOUGH! I HATE THIS STUPID RESTAURANT!" He grabbed Kira's arm and dragged them outside.  
>"Check please!" I yelled quickly, before they disappear. The waiter handed me the check and I looked expectantly at Deidara.<br>"What, un?" I eyed the bill and then him.  
>"Why?"<br>"Because..."  
>"Because?"<br>"I have the power to manipulate Tobi. If you want half of your ponytail missing in the morning, then go ahead." He sighed and grabbed the bill. After we paid, I grabbed Deidara's arm and we trailed right after those two.

* * *

><p><strong>Akira POV<strong>

Okay, Rina is dating now Little Golden Pony Rapunzel? Lol. Just lol. I wonder... "Hey, have you seen Rina and Golden Locks over there?" I gestured vaguely behind me. Kakuzu turned around, saw them, shrugged and kept dragging me to Kami knows where. "Ummm... btw- where are we going?"  
>"Surprise." he muttered. Okay, another free thing, ne?<br>And when we got there... "Oh. My. Goodness. This is a bowling and billiard club for those rich people who have nothing better to do with money? I thought you hated wasting money!"  
>"I hate wasting money on stuff that matters. This is just for fun, so..."<br>"I love bowling! Bet you I'll get three consecutive strikes?"  
>"How much?"<br>"If I win, you go take care of Cinderella and Rina. If you win... what do you want?"  
>"Hmmmmm... maybe another time like this one?"<br>"Like, another date?"

"Bet set! Okay, go on and pay..." I smiled as he took off to pay. It was obvious I could win because of my sweet lovely Rin'negan which could direction the ball to wherever I wanted. Duh.  
>Then, when I was just about to throw the ball to get a third in a row strike and win the bet, guess who shows up. Really, guess. You won't.<br>Oro.  
>With Harry aka Kabuto.<br>And Pink Avenging Zetsu aka Sas'ke.  
>Oh, my dear sweet Kami. Why me? Okay, karma, don't answer that. I know...<br>"Where is Itachi!" guess again who asked.  
>"Not here!"<br>"Where is my lovely next body?" Oro asked, and I smiled evilly. I gestured to them to follow me, and lead them to the entrance.  
>There, Rina was swearing and cussing and everything at the bouncer who wouldn't let them in because they weren't rich enough or didn't know ppl rich enough. Oro yelped in joy and ran to Rina. Rina, being already stressed, started running in circles around Fairytopia, who was very annoyed. Kabuto and Kakuzu were fighting over who has more rights over me ("I can buy her!" "I can study her!") and Sasuke was picking on a poor guy who looked like Itachi, and who was in the company of a cute little orange-haired girl. The girl was so going to become a huge-boobed chick when she'll grow up... Okay, dunno where that came from, intuition?<br>Hmmmmm... best opportunity to evade this little weird circus, ne? So easily I poofed away back in my room, and then had a crazy laughing fit, dunno why. Everything has been just so random lately...

* * *

><p>This story is getting very random…..Yay! It's also more like a slice of life now…hm. Don't you just love how Orochimaru jumps in, and everything is alright? Yeah. No more talk about snakey. Ok. I'll just leave you to your day. Have a wonderful one. Splendid. Fantastical. Bye.:)<p> 


	13. Christmas, The Akatsuki Way

**Christmas, The Akatsuki Way**

Hi everyone! This is a kind-of Christmas special. At first, I thought that we wouldn't make it since we started about a week before. But we did! A day early too! So hope you all like it, and it's pretty long too...

**Disclaimer: I disclaim Naruto!**

* * *

><p><strong>Kirina POV<strong>

Here are the events that followed the 'Date incident'. One, Kira found out about the fake necklace and chucked it out the window(hitting a random by passer who threatened to 'sue our ass off'). Two, me and Deidara kinda went on a date, before we got rudely interrupted(thank you, Kira and Tobi). Finally three, Kisame won the lottery...don't ask me how that happened(this resulted in Kakuzu having multiple heart attacks, one after another.). So overall, a normal week.

Sadly, I can't say the same for this week.

We all know that Konan is a relatively quiet person, right? No. Konan can be really evil sometimes. For example, bribing Tobi into waking everyone up at 6 A.M. Yes people, six in the FREAKIN MORNING! Just for a meeting. After everyone gathered, Konan began her speech, her voice sounded unusually (and suspiciously) peppy and enthusiastic.

"Okay everyone! Guess what we're doing this week!" Silence...well except for one guy.

"Oh! Oh! Tobi knows! Pick Tobi! Konan-san, pick Tobi!"

"Yes?"

"Christmas!"

"That's right, we're celebrating Christmas this week! Aren't you guys excited?" More silence...Never mind, Kira fell out of her chair.

"What the f*** is a Christmas?" Hidan asked groggily.

"YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT CHRISTMAS IS? Tobi, the presentation please." So, in front of a bunch of half awake criminals, Tobi wheeled in a projector and a computer. Konan clicked a few things and a Powerpoint came up. Tobi then proceeded to flick the lights off. As soon as the click was heard, all of us hung our heads and fell asleep.

"and so, that is what Christmas is all about." The lights flashed on again. All Konan saw was a bunch asleep idiots and a bouncing Tobi.

"WAKE UP OR I'LL GIVE YOU THE PAPER CUT OF HELL!" No answer...Hidan fell out of his chair.

* * *

><p><strong>Akira POV<strong>

"Okay, that was the last drop that filled the glass! Papercut-no-jutsu!" Konan yelled like a maniac girl she is, throwing paper planes around at us. Eff yea, sure, like I care.

After a while, she got tired of this, so she started walking around and poking us. After a string of swears, she got to me."Kira-chan, you must love Christmas! you get to spend more time with your family, meaning Pein!"

"F**k yea, I just adore spending time with Nii-san! Plus, Ko-chan, I'm a Buddhist. We don't celebrate this, or not in the way you do." I said, yawning and stretching like a cat.

"Really?" she looked definitely surprised. "For how long have you been a Buddhist?"

"Ummmm... ever since I mastered all types of chakra? And I realized that's my way of living?"

"O-kay... but you do give and receive presents, ne?"

"Yeah. Now can I go back to sleep?"

"NO! You'll help me with my Christmas!"

"Why would I?"

"Cause if not... ummmm... I'll help Rina get Itachi!"

"And you're gonna tell her to help you cause otherwise you'll help me get Itachi, ne?"

"..."

"This kinda cheesy s**t ain't gonna work on me! I used it on you and nii-san hundreds of times!"

"You start to sound like Hidan with that loudmouth of yours... ain't very Chrismassy..."

"Ain't giving a f**k!" I said, and an echo of this sounded from the other side of the room. I looked and saw one of Rina's boyfriends, the loud one giving me an approving grin. BS.

"Rina-chaaaannn~..." Ko-chan moved farther to Rina. Poor Rina didn't know how to get rid of her faster.

Moving on... I had to speak with a few people around. Especially... Tobi!

Mwahahahaha! Another plan of the great evil Akira is forming!

* * *

><p><strong>Kirina POV<strong>

"Rina-chaaaaaan~." I shuddered. No, not now. Please! I prepared to run, but Konan was faster.

"You celebrate Christmas, right?"

"Uhh..."

"I'll take that as a yes!"

"Well..."

"You should help me, since Kira-chan won't!" Konan pouted.

"I really.." She leaned in and whispered in my ear.

"If you don't, then I'll help Kira-chan get Itachi."

"You do realize that I'm not stupid, right?" I whispered back.

"You two are no fun!" She stomped away and I sank back into my chair with relief. The atmosphere of the room seemed to lift a bit once Konan left. Pein joined me at the table.

"Hey, Carrot Top Leader-sama, can't you get your girlfriend to stop?"

"She's not my girlfriend!"

"Denial~ If Konan heard that, she'll shave your head, then kick you alllll the way to Oro!" Pein grunted and got up.

"Bye, bye Carrot!"

"Wahhh! Akira-san! Tobi's arm! Tobi's arm is faling off!" Across the room, Kira tried to drag Tobi outside by pulling on the poor boy's arm.

"Shut the f*** up! I need to talk to you!" Hidan is influencing Kira too much...I threw a cookie at her.

"What the F*- Rina? What the hell are you doing!" She screeched like a madwoman. I pointed to the cookie then to Tobi. She nodded.

"Tobi-chan? You want cookie?" Tobi nodded.

"Yes! Yes! Tobi want cookie!"

"Then be a GOOD boy and follow Akira-san outside, okay?"

"Yes, Akira-san." Tobi was in the cookie trance. Tobi dizzily followed Akira outside. With nothing better to do, I trailed behind them to listen.

* * *

><p><strong>Akira POV<strong>

"Okay, now Tobi is a good boy, ne?"

"Yesyesyesyesyesyes!"

"Okay. And what will Tobi get Kira-san?"

"Tobi will get Kira-san... an Itachi-san wrapped like a christmas present!"

"... no comment. And what will Tobi get Rina-chan?"

"Another Itachi-san wrapped like a christmas present!"

"Where do you get two Itachis from?"

"Oooooh... Tobi didn't think about that... Then what does Kira-chan want?"

"Kira-chan ain't wanting a lot... I want Ko-chan to shut up!"

"Whaaaaat?"

"yeah, you heard me. I know it's impossible, but you can do anything, right? A few days ago you have created blue flames. Makin' Ko-chan shut the f-... I mean shut up is gonna be easy, ne?" Huh, good thing I stopped the swear word in time. Tobi starts to cry if he hears one of those.

"Weeeeellllll..."

"Rina-chan will help you! Right, Rina?" I said, dragging her out the bush she was hiding in trying to listen to our smart conversation.

"Why would I?"

"Okay people, we need to unite if we don't want Ko-chan to do like she did last time!" I said, and both Tobi and I shuddered.

"What did she do?" Oh, yeah, I forgot Rina is still the most n00b of us all...

"We didn't want to celebrate her s**t and- sorry, Tobi, stop crying, I'll be a good girl- and she did horrible things to us... She gave Tobi sugar, Hidan got alcohol, Kakuzu got his money stolen, Kisame's fish suddenly died, nii-san suddenly ran out of carrots, and I mean those on his head, Zetsu got poisoned with weed-repelent... and I... I... noooo, I can't tell you! It's too painful!"

"O-kay... then what's the plan?"

"We all join forces agains the crazy f-up woman!"

"Okay..."

"Tobi will do it!"

"Okay. Now scatter and make all the members adhere to this. Tell them it's my plan. I'll go to... nii-san. Wish me luck."

"Hai!"

* * *

><p><strong>Kirina POV<strong>

Psch, Kira. She made it sound as if convincing Pein was THAT hard. It's easy, you either threaten him, or blackmail him. I have some pretty nice pics too...She got the easy job, now it's up to me and Tobi to get the rest. WHY? I'm too lazy too.

"Rina-Chaaaaan, let's get sempai first!" Yes. Sempai. Yes, indeed. I walked towards Semapi's room.

"What's wrong Rina-chan? Why do you have a weird smile on your face?" I flung the door open.

"SEMPAI! I yelled. Oh. He's not here. FAILLLLL~

"Eh? Sempai? Where are you? Tobi is a good boy and Tobi will search for Sempai!"

"Good for you Tobi, good for you."

"IS SEMPAI UNDER THAT ROCK?"

"Sure, Tobi. Sure." I laid down on sempai's bed. Damn, now THIS is a rock!

"BAKA! That rock is my clay, un!" Tobi and I jumped. Well, he did. I fell off the bed...and landed right next to his feet. He glared down at me.

"Good...morning Sempai! How was..your morning?"

"Like shi*, un. Sasori no Danna and I had another fight, then Hidan comes over to ask for pickles. Can you imagine that, un? Pickles! Now, I have you idiots here too!" I patted his shoulder.

"I feel sorry for you. Really, I do."

"What are you two doing here, un?" I whispered Kira's plan to him, while Tobi blabbed on and on, making it hard for him to tea.

"SO KIRA-SAN PULLED TOBI OUTSIDE, THEN FOUND RINA-CHAN IN A BUSH. AND THEN KIRA-SAN TOLD ALLLL OF US GOOD GIRLS AND GOOD BOYS HER PLAN. WHILE SHE WAS TALKING, TOBI SAW A BUNNY RABBIT. THE RABBIT REMINDED TOBI OF ALICE IN WONDERLAND, SO TOBI THOUGHT ABOUT A TEA PARTY. THEN THE TEA PARTY MADE TOBI HUNGRY, SO NOW, TOBI WANT A COOKIE!"

"So what you're saying, is that you want me to join you idiots in your rebellion against Konan, un?" I nod.

"No."

"What do you mean no?"

"No means no, un." I smiled evilly.

"Then I'll just use my secret weapon."

"What secret...weapon...no...not..that." I grinned.

"Tobi," I ordered. "Go do your job and I'll give you a cookie."

"HAI! RINA-CHAN!"

"Bye bye,blondie" I did a little wave and locked the door from the outside.

"NO! NO! KIRINA, NO! Help me, un! I take that back! I'll do it, un!" Tobi began.

"JINGLE BELLS, TOBI SMELLS! SEMPAI HAS A DOOOOG! ZETSU EAATS HUMAN MEAT AND I'M A GOOD BOY NOW!" He sang, totally off key.

"I take it back, un. Please." He sounded half dead...oh well.

"Too late now. Sucks for you." I childishly stuck my tongue out at the door. Hopefully Kira has better luck than me. Off to the next victim.

* * *

><p><strong>Akira POV<strong>

BS, BS, BS! Okay, Kira-sama, you're the most beautiful, intelligent, smart, expert stalker and fangirl in the whole world... you can do it...

As usual, I entered without knocking. "Heeeey, nii-sama, what's my favourite brother doing in this unusually merry morning?" I said in an overly perky voice.

"What did you do?"

"What tells you I did something? Just because I realized that I need to show you more respect?"

"Spit it all out."

"Weeeeeelllll... you know how Ko-chan goes crazy around the chrismas time, ne? I mean, more than she already is. About you."

"Huh?"

"Gah, most of the times she's crazy about you!"

"I know, right?"

"Yeah, whatever. And... last time when you refused to play Santa for Tobi she shaved your head off, right?"

"Yes."

"And when you tried to take your revenge she tied you of your bed and no one could break those ropes and I had to bring you food until The New Year?"

"Yes. What's your point?"

"This year we'll all unite against her. Tobi and Rina are already convincing others."

"Are you crazy?"

"Yeah, about Ita-kun."

"O-kay... but I love her!"

"BS! It's just for a little time, she'll forgive you..."

"okay..."

Huh, it was easy!

* * *

><p><strong>Kirina POV<strong>

I just succesfully convinced Kisame and Kakuzu to join our little group. Soon, Kira came with her good news too. We decided to get Itachi together.

"Kira, I really think we should knock first..."

"No way! You're too scared, Rina! Ita-kun won't mind!" While she was blabbering, Itachi slowly opened the door. He didn't look angry, or happy...not that he ever shows these emotions anyways.

I shook my head, trying to get Kira to shut up.

"What? Are you still scared? There's nothing to be afraid of, n00b." She turned and was face to chest with Itachi.

"I...ta...chi...! Kyaaa, Ita-kun!" She proceeded to glomping him, in which he dodged and she crashed onto the floor. I giggled. Itachi focused his eyes on me. Looking at his eyes, I felt...fear. Yeah, he kinda scares me. I'm suffocating now, somebody help me!

"Um..hi?"

"What are your intentions here?"

"We..uh...wanted you to-"

"We want you to join our group against Konan!" Kira interrupted.

"No." Yeah, just a straight out 'no'. Just what I expected from him.

"What do you mean no?" Kira asked. She seemed a little surprised, but at least she's not yelling it.

"No. I will not join your group." He said matter-of-factly.

"Okay, but why?" I asked.

"Have you asked yourself why you're doing this?" I cocked my head to the side, clearly confused.

"Of course we have! We want to stop Konan!"

"If that's what you think, then do it, but I will not join you. Now if you'll please get out of the way." I stepped away and Kira did the same.

"Kira-chan, are you sure that we should do this?"

"Duh! We have to stop Konan-" I quickly covered her mouth and she struggled.

"Shhh! Look!" I pointed to the room with a half opened. Konan was in there, decorating the tree. She was humming a Christmas song and hanging little ornaments. I studied her expression. She was smiling like never before. I've never seen her this happy, she moved with such grace, putting up the ornaments and she even got presents for all of us!

"Kira-chan...I don't think I want to do this anymore."

* * *

><p><strong>Akira POV<strong>

Damn. Damn. Damn. BS! Even I don't wanna do this anymore! Okay...but... nah...

Should I still?

Damn no!

Do I give up? It'd be the first time!

Hmmmmm... yeah. Damn it.

Maybe I didn't like Christmas, or celebrated it, but I believed in karma. Karma did something nice for me (my favourite soccer team won with 5-0! w00t) and I had to do something nice in return. So this is the first time I gave up on something, ne? Well, I guess everything has to have a start.

"Hey, Ko-chan."

"What do you want?"

"To help you."

"WHAT?"

"Yeah. I changed my mind. I wanna help you."

"Really?"

"As impossible as it sounds, yeah."

"Ohmigoshthankyougirlsyou'rethebestinthewholeworld!" she yelped as she rushed and gave us a double hug. Rina went to tell the others the change in the plan and convince them to do exactly the opposite of what she convinced them to do earlier and I went to decorate the garden. There, Zetsu was happily singing a carol to his plants and was very happy when I brought him some decorations and didn't try for once to eat me and for once I didn't have to kick his plant butt to the North Pole and back.

Then, I decorated the kitchen (though Tobi will burn them with the first occasion), the living and the bathrooms (though I find it kinda awkward to pee while a happy Santa is staring at you...)

Well, i guessed that's all. Oh, yeah, sh*t, the presents. Should I shop normally -meaning also paying for what I took- or should i be good? Okay, Ko-chan from my mind, I'll be good...

...

...

God, I hate shopping. But I love to see happy faces of the people in my family... I couldn't wait for the Christmas night, as weird as it sounds...

* * *

><p><strong>Kirina POV<strong>

I smiled as I watched Kira help Konan. Now everyone's happy! Well, almost everyone...I feel like I'm forgetting something.

"Baka! What are you still doing here? Go get the guys!" Kira pushed me out. Oh right...them.

Getting most go them to help was pretty easy. I almost fainted while talking to Itachi though. Outside Deidara's door, I was debating whether or not I should let him out. Judging by the singing I hear, I think I should. Maybe I should kill him! You know, put him out of his misery.

"A B C D E F G, TOBI HAS LOTS OF COOKIES! ONE FOR SEMPAI, TWO FOR TOBI, THREE FOR KONAN AND A BUNNY!" I quickly unlocked the door before my ears start bleeding.

"Oh, hi Kirina-chaaaan! Tobi was a good boy!" I shuffled my feet uncomfortably.

"Uhhh...Tobi, we're helping Konan out now."

"Really? Yayy! Christmas!" Deidara stood there, dumbfounded.

"You mean, I was locked up for an hour with HIM for nothing, un?"

"Preeeeettty much...sorry?"

"I hate you, un." He threw a rock at me. YES, A ROCK! Can you believe that! The nerve of that boy...

I stepped out a bit to buy presents. It was pretty easy. Kira, an Itachi plushy. Kisame, a goldfish(I accidentally killed his last one). Sasori, a tree! Zetsu, some fertilizer. Hidan...a..butcher knife? Kakuzu, teddy bear, nuff said. Konan, I got her these really pretty origami paper...which then got burned...so I baked her a cookie. As for Itachi, I got him Sasuke. Yes, I really did get him Sasuke. The package in my hand shuffled.

"Stop moving, chicken boy!"

"What the hell do you want with me, woman?"

"Geez, shut up and I MIGHT feed you some tomatoes."

"GET ME OUT OF HERE!"

"Gosh, how does your brother deal with your shouting?"

"ITACHI! WHERE IS HE?"

"SHUT UP OR I'LL PELT YOU WITH MULTIPLE TOBI'S!"

"..."

"Yeah, I thought so." Anyways, continuing my list, Pein, I got him a carrot with stickers that spelt Pein. I got six, for all the Peins! I got Tobi a pretty princess dress and Deidara, a...PENCIL! Haha, that's for throwing a rock at me!

Time to PARTY! Hidan..sang carols. With Zetsu...I don't know what to say about that. We all had fun and Tobi burnt the cookies, typical Akatsuki Christmas, ne? Then, we exchanged presents.

"Rina! Open mine!" Kira shoved her present in my face, as in quite literally MY FACE! I opened it and...wow. Really. An Itachi plushy. What can I say? Great minds think alike.

"Thank you, Kira! I love this! Now open mine!" She did.

"OMIGOSH HOW DID YOU KNOW I WANTED THIS? I was debating whether I should give you that, or keep it for myself. Let's give Ita-kun our presents!" I nodded and grabbed my package, which was very heavy.

"Merry Christmas Ita-kun!" We both sang.

"Open my first!" Kira said.

"No, mine! It's about to die!" Both of them stared at me weirdly. Did that come out wrong? Sadly, Kira beat me to it. Itachi unwrapped it to reveal secret Sasuke pictures of Sasuke that she secretly took some time ago. Psch, I have a better present. He opened mine and...

"Itachi! I will kill-"

"Tobi." I reminded him.

"..." Itachi was holding the urge to grin and drag Sasuke off to his room.

"Thank you Rina-chan, Kira-chan." I smiled. Now, for the other presents...

Everyone else loved their present. Hidan yelped when he got his and ran of to chop his carol lyrics into a million pieces. WHen I gave Deidara his present he gave me mine. I unwrapped it and found a really cute clay pig.

"Aww, how cute."

"It represents hot fat you are, un." He said, smirking.

"Well why don't you unwrap yours!" He did.

"Oh! How did you know I wanted this, un?" Can I go cry in the corner now?

The night went by fast, we were plotting on how to attack Santa and steal all his presents before we all fell asleep. Merry Christmas, ne?

* * *

><p>See? It was really long! I wonder if it beat my record...they were both over 3000. Anyways, I hope you enjoyed reading this and Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukah and Happy Kwanzas and HAPPY HOLIDAYS TO YOU ALL!<p> 


	14. Happy New Year!

**Happy New Year!**

Happy New Year! Well, I still have a few hours till it comes but yeah:) 2011 sure came by fast. I miss it already, come back~

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto!**

* * *

><p><strong>Akira POV<strong>

Got awesome presents! yay! And kidnapped Santa! Well, it was more for Tobi, he thought that the guy from the mall was the real Santa and spent the whole day after Christmas terrorizing the poor guy... but it was his present from me. I'm sweet, I know...

The next thing on the list was the New Year! Personally I've been looking forward for this 2012 year cause we're supposed to die, which in my opinion is awesome, considering some can't just die -Hidan- and I wanted to get to the Apocalypse ASAP. Yay, I'm mad.

"Okay, guys, as you all know we're throwing a NYEP here, and we have to invite ppl. Any suggestions?" Pein said at one of the regular meetings.

"NYEP?" someone asked.

"New Year Eve Party" I answered. Some people just don't know all the short forms...

"Yeah. So?"

"Ummmm... may I?" I asked in a cute chibi voice.

"I know I'll regret it, but go ahead, Kira."

"Oro and co.! We already have one of the co. guys, check Itachi's room, unless he evaded, and it'd be fun to see if his hair has grown on that bold ball he has as a head!"

"HELLS NO!" Rina yelled.

"Great idea, Kira, it's the time of year we need to forgive others and treat them as our friends!" Ko-chan said, flashing Rina a LOOK.

"Okay, okay, but still..." she mumbled.

"Next?"

"Konoha!" Everyone yelled. Okay...

"Ummmm... okay." nii-san agreed.

"Tsunade and Mei Terumi!" kakuzu said.

"Hot chicks!" yelled Hidan.

"Nemo and Flipper and Ariel!" suggested Kisame.

"Granny!" said puppet-boy.

"Sempai!" Tobi yelled.

"Not Tobi!" Deidara screamed.

"Konan!" Pein said.

"Kira!" Konan said.

"Ah, for the love of blind kids, STOP THIS! We're not playing Tag!" I yelled. "Everyone make a list of who you wanna invite and we will. Just stop yelling!"

"Hai, ma'am!"

* * *

><p><strong>Kirina POV<strong>

Apparently, Kira's calling the shots now, ne? Oh well. Let's see, who do I want to invite?...I guess I would like Oro to be here so I can get Tobi to shave his head! But that guy still creeps me out...so, no. I know! I wantmy mommy and daddyto be here! But that's not really possible either...

It took me awhile but I wrote down who I want to invite.

"Okay, are you guys done?" Kira asked and didn't bother to do it nicely either. She got Tobi to collect the papers from everyone. Sigh, lazyass. Tobi respects her like a God though. Hehehe, maybe I can get Deidara or Hidan to do the same to me. Just need to take out some pictures, steal some stuff...perfect blackmail!...What am I thinking! Kira is influencing me too much.

"Who the hell wrote the Veggie Monster?" I looked up. Who would?

"NII-SAN!" Oh, yeah of course the carrot would support his fellow vegetable friends.

"BOOOO!" He got the whole organization booing...

"EVERYONE BELIEVES IN THE COOKIE MONSTER!" Oh...Hidan would regret ever shouting that out loud.

"IT IS NOT! YOU KIDS SHOULD EAT YOUR VEGGIES!" Pein argued.

"COOKIES? COOKIES? WHERE? TOBI WANTS A COOKIE!"

"Of course you do, Tobi. You always want cookies."

"But Rina-chan, where are Tobi's cookies?"

"Kitchen, duh."

"WAIT! Rina, no!" Kira warned.

"Huh?" BEEP BEEP BEEP. Fire alarm! Kira ran in...papers and all.

"Kira! The papers!" It was an hour later before the two returned, Kira had black marks all over her face.

"Where are the papers, Kira?"

"What papers?"

"New Year's...?"

"F*** those! I'm going to sleep.."

* * *

><p><strong>Akira POV<strong>

I swear I'm gonna kill them all... except for those who do whatever I wanna. Like Tobi. And nii-san. And I won't kill Itachi for the sake of my eyes which find heaven daily when looking at him. And Rina will also live to stay alive. Unfortunately. Otherwise who'd be jumping on my bed, trying to get me up to invite everyone?

"Come on, Kiraaaaaaaaaaa!"

"No!" I rolled to a side, squashing the pillow in my ears.

"Come onnnnnnnnnnnnn!"

"No! Get Tobi to do it!"

"Really? You think it's such a good idea?"

"I know it's not, but noooooooo!"

"You get to see Shinyyyy..."

"ooooh, appealing... but still too lazy. NO!"

"Fine! I'll go get Ita-kun to come with me!"

"He won't go."

"I know... so sad, ne? "

"yeah, so bad for you. Now let me sleep! I'm tired, annoyed, I have criminal intentions, the burns on my hands and Buddha knows where need to heal, and I have a PMSing girl jumping on my bed and trying to get me to go see a village of retards, a pedo snake with a shiny head and the four-eyed geek who can't wait to kill me and make experiments and Buddha knows what else with me. No thank you!"

"You're no fun at all!"

"What you're gonna do about it- tell Tobi to annoy me? Y'know he won't. He wants to keep me happy, so he can get cookies. And come to think, why wouldn't I tell him to get rid of you?"

"Cause he listens to me too!"

"really?" I said, then I magically took out a cookie from under my pillow and started moving it behind my bed. Soon, a Tobi came out. Yeah, he lives under my bed sometimes. Awesome, right? it's like having a dog! "Tobi, you're getting a pile of cookies and lollipops if you make Rina-chan go away!"

"TOBI IS A GOOD BOY AND WILL MAKE AKIRA-SAN'S WISH COME TRUE! COME ON, RINA-CHAN, LET'S PLAY A GAME! HIDE AND SEEK! I'LL HIDE IN THE KITCHEN, AND YOU WON'T FIND TOBI!"

"Tobi, stop." she tried.

"Tobi, don't stop." I countered.

"Tobi, leave."

"Tobi, don't leave."

"Tobi, do a barrel roll."

"Tobi, do a barrel roll." Rina looked strangely at me, but hey, it was a good idea!

Tobi's system was definitely going to explode. "ERROR, ERRROR, ERRRRRRROR, ERrrooooooor" and the voice faded away like a computer turning off. AWESOME!

* * *

><p><strong>Kirina POV<strong>

"Tobi, Tobi! Don't die!" I glared at Kira. "FIX THIS!" She shrugged.

"Can't, don't know how to."

"What do you mean, don't know how to?"

"I mean this has never happened to me." That's it. I went into full doctor mode.

"Bring me the emergency cookie." Kira confusedly cocked her head to the side.

"The...what?"

"EMERGENCY. COOKIE." She tossed me a cookie. I waved it in front of Tobi's face.

"Come on, wakey wakey! It's a cookie!" No response.

"Bring me the pinkest, fluffiest unicorn you can find!"

"On it!" Kira finally got what I was doing. She stepped out for a minute before coming back with...Hidan.

"Kira."

"Yes?"

"What. Part. Of. This guy," I pointed to Hidan. "Looks like a unicorn!"

"Uhhh...the eyes?" Facepalm moment.

"Just wave him in front of Tobi." Kira lifted Hidan up. I opened my mouth in shock. He has t weigh at least 200...I think.

"OI! What the f*** are you doing, b*tch!"

"Just shut the F*** pony boy!" Ah...it was so much fun watching them fight.

"Rina, it's not working!"

"NO! We're on code black! Code Black, everyone!"

"What's code black?" I ignored her.

"CODE BLACK!"

"What should I do?" Kira almost had a panic attack.

"Get rid of the unicorn first." She flung Hidan out the door.

"OW! Sh*t, that hurts you know!"

"Code black!" I murmured. "We can't really do anything else. Throw the patient out the window!"

"What! But...he'll die for sure!"

"Just do it! It's code black!"

"I don't even know what code black is!" She did it anyways. It was silent for a while...then the sound of a whirring machine coming to life could be heard.

"Tobi Model 0012759 startup. What can the good boy help you with?"

"He's back!" The two of us cheered!

"So. Kira.."

"Yes?"

"What are you doing about the New Year's Party?"

* * *

><p><strong>Akira POV<strong>

"Again we start? Nothing!"

"Nothing? Just like that? After a code black where you were almost asphyxiating from the stress?"

"First- wtf is a code black? Then, your mom was asphyxi-... asphoxy-... asphicsy- was doing whatever that long word may mean!"

"Asphyxiating is to cause to die or lose consciousness by impairing normal breathing, as by gas or other noxious agents; choke; suffocate; smother. Got it?"

"Huh?" yeah, I'm clueless with definitions quoted from . And I'm clueless with little geeks like Rina.

"Forget it. So. You're coming with me." she said decisively, and started pulling my arm around. She got the shock of her life when she realized it wasn't me she was pulling, but just my arm. "Waaaaaaah, cursed arm from hell! WTF?" she yelled, dropping it on the floor.

"How-to-get-rid-of-idiots-arm-2.0. The new deluxe edition. Got it from Sasori. Just for occasions like this." I answered matter-of-factly, making my real arm appear off the sleeve of my cloak. "I told you I ain't going. Not until everyone doesn't apologize and bring me stuff. You guys need to make up for all."

"For all what?"

"Burns? Shattered nerves? 1 pound gained?"

"Hmmmm... I'll see what I can do..."

...

half an hour later

...

"okay guys, now say it just as I taught you."

"haaaaaaaaah... Oh, great Akira-sama, please forgive our unworthy souls because we made your beautiful face frown and ** you off greatly." Wow, they really said it! I didn't think they would!

"Can you say it again, I wanna record it and set it as my ringtone..."

"F**K YOU B*TCH!"

"Not nice... but apologies accepted! Come on, Rina, let's go to Shiny!"

* * *

><p><strong>Kirina POV<strong>

"But I don't want to go to Shiny!"

"Why? Didn't you want to save his head more?"

"No! I object!" In a flash, I ran out of her room. Hiding place, hiding place. There really wasn't any...unless there just happened to be a secret tunnel under the secret base. Oh wait...there is! *Insert flashback here* I stood there remembering the happy memory of the good old pranking days. The nearest entrance should be around here. Like Kisame's room.

I burst in without bothering to knock, which really isn't a good idea in a base full of guys, but who cares? I've seen it all!

"Hi, Kisame-nii!" He was just feeding fish. Thank. God. I may have seen a lot, but I seriously don't want a rerun!

"Hi Imouto-chan."

"How's Bubbles doing?" I asked as I went to the spot where the entrance supposedly was.

"Dead." I stopped momentarily.

"Eh? What about Fins?" His face darkened.

"He lost his fin..."

"Oh...umm..Sharkboy?" Now the big guy was on the verge of tears.

"DYING!" He sobbed uncontrollably. Such a shame to see a grown man cry...actually no. It's quite awkward. You ever seen it?

"There, there. I'm sure he'll survive." I tried comforting.

"You don't understand! He's not eating and not swimming either!"

"Come on! Cheer up! Look on the bright side...um.." Is there a bright side to this?

"What bright side?"

"He...won't feel the pain anymore?"

"I..guess you're right." I let out a sigh of relief. When it comes to fish, you really have to be careful what you say to Kisame. Even though he's part fish himself, Kisame really can't take care of fish. Spaghetti and meatballs are not fish food and will not give them extra calcium not matter what Wikipedia says! Tobi can do a better job than him. Enough about fish here! This is about me and escaping!

"Hey, it's nice seeing you and all, but I've got to go nii-san!"

"Okay...sniff."

"Smile a little!" He did a creepy grin.

"Never mind...go back to that other face. I think Itachi can smile better than you can.." He reverted to the depressed face. I lifted the entrance and disappeared under it. Awhile after I started walking, I heard Kisame tapping the floor.

"It's...hollow?" Kukukuku, Kira will never catch me now!...wait, did I just...laugh like OROCHIMARU! That guy is seriously influencing my...laugh? Holy F...ishsticks!

* * *

><p><strong>Akira POV<strong>

Damn. Where did that little mesu go? Grrr... I'm gonna take a shortcut to her room.

*insert shiny lights and trumpets and a random 2D lion plushie flying across the screen leaving a rainbow behind it* THE GREAT TUNNELS OF AKIRA RELOADED! *end all special effects*

I started rushing towards the place where the trapdoor to Kirina's room was, when suddenly someone ran into me. Great, now what kinda idiot gets to... wait a sec... WHO THE HELL KNOWS ABOUT MY TUNNELS OTHER THAN SOME MESU NAMED RINA!

"Uh, sorry, sorry, sorry!" she said, probably forgetting she was speaking with me.

"Damn right you should be sorry! Who gave you the right to use my stuff? This whole thing is mine! I OWN it. This is a violation of my propriety. I can report you."

"But I don't wanna go see Shiny! I have nothing better to do there. You fight Harry and I have to stand there watching Shiny go on about how he wants my body. It's so damn weird!" she pouted.

"Then let's invert our roles. You fight Harry and I talk to Shiny. Okay?"

"Promise?"

"Yeah."

"Okay, then!"

Buddha, it's like talking to Tobi...

...

...

"So, while my dear associate is kicking your associate's ss, I'll tell you about the invitation Akatsuki has for you."

"You want me to join again because Itachi-kun can't live without me? finally! Sure I will! Ehm, I mean... beg me all you want, I won't come back!"

"Um. It ain't that. It's more like our NYEP."

"Oh, your New Year Eve Party? Hmmmm... do I get my Sasuke back?"

"Probably. And you get to see Ko-chan."

"Huh?"

"Oh, sorry, I mixed you up with my brother. this ain't working on you. Then... you get to see Ita-kun."

"Kyaaaaaaaaa!" Yeah, he did it. Sigh.

"Yeah. So I'm guessing that's a yeah?"

"Kyaaaaaaaaaaa!"

"Okay."

"Kyaaaaaaaaaa!"

"See ya..."

"Kyaaaaaaaaaaa!"

"Okay, stop now, you're scaring me!"

"Kyaaaaa- ouch!"

"Rina, come on, don't kill him, let's go." I hated to take away her fun, but Harry had to be there to meet Ron. You choose which of the redheads will play Ron... I don't care. I'd love to see them both annoyed.

So. Konoha next. We gotta hurry a little, ne...?

* * *

><p><strong>Kirina POV<strong>

Ah...Konoha...not much to do here!

"So, who, exactly, do you plan on inviting?" I asked Kira. I mean, there is like HUNDREDS of people here!

"All of them."

"Excuse me, what?"

"All. Of. Them."

"WHAT?"

"I want to invite everyone in Konoha!" I kicked her.

"Baka! Our base is so small, it can't fit that many people! Kakuzu is too cheap to remodel too..."

"Well then, I'll convince the old money lover!" So, she turned around and left me. Psch, getting the easy job again.

I walked around for a bit, exploring the village for a while. I sat down for some ramen and a familiar flash of blonde hair sat next to me, and no, it's not the criminal artist that we all know. I'm talking about the blonde haired idiot who yells a lot. That jinchuuriki kid-what's his name? Naruto. Right, like the thing I'm eating right now. Mr. Ramen Topping. If I can get him to go to our party then maybe, just maybe, I can get a raise! Pein will be pleased. I will be rich!

"Hey Blondie!" He turned around.

"Oh hey...HEY! AREN'T YOU FROM AKATSUKI!" His yelling is giving me a headache.

"Uh Yeah! Obviously!" I motioned to my cloak.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE!" Headache...earache too...

"Dammit kid, lower your voice a little, it's not gonna kill you."

"What do you want Baa-chan?"

"Hey! I'm not that much older than you! Geez, rude!" He stuck his tongue out at me. Childish...

"Get to the point already!"

"The Akatsuki is inviting all of Konoha to a NYEP or whatever the hell Kira calls it."

"A..what?"

"NYEP!"

"What's that? Is it edible?" I face palmed. This guy's stupider than me. Heck, I bet Tobi can beat him in a test.

"New Year's Eve Party. Smart one."

"Hahaha, I am smart!" Wow...he's just unbelievable. "Why should I go anyways?"

"Sasuke will be there!" He was silent...awkward. The silence didn't last long, however, because a certain pink-haired girl interrupted us. Sakura. I'm not exactly fond of her, but as a host, I'll have to act.

"Naruto! What are you still doing there!" Then she saw me. "Who are you? Akatsuki! What did you do to Naruto?"

"Sakura-chan, we're going to a party!" I looked at him.

"I'm guessing you agree then?" He nodded. I wrote down the address. "Here's the address, and please inform the rest of the village."

"What?"

"I said, please inform the rest of the village."

"Huh?"

"Tell the rest of your village that we invited them!" Gosh, how much do I have to dumb it down for him!

"The entire Konoha? That'll take days!"

"Sucks for you! Find your own way!" I left and brushed past Sakura.

"Hey you! Come back! I'm not done questioning you yet!" Annoying girl. She kept yelling and started following me too.

"Sasuke will be there." I said. That stopped her. She just froze and I made my grand exit. I feel so evil today, mwahahaha. Cough, cough. Okay, time to see what Kira came up with.

* * *

><p><strong>Akira POV<strong>

"Hey, Kuzu-chaaaannnn~"

"What the hell do you... ah, Akira-san! How may I help you?" Yeah, he started being oh-so-polite and my slave since I made a crisis over how the date I had with him was the worst ever and he felt like he should pay for his mistakes. Note the use of the verb 'pay'.

"Weeeeell... we seem to be having a little, small, tiny problem... but you can solve it, right? Everyone knows how cool you are... so this shouldn't bother you, ne?" Yeaaa, I'm good!

"Um... Yeah, sure. So what's the problem?"

"Our base is kinda... small. Like, the whole Konoha won't fit in here, unless we dis-articulate them and hang them off the ceiling."

"THE WHOLE KONOHA?"

"Oh, plus the food and drinks."

"WHAT? ARE YOU MAD, WOMA-..." and he had a heart attack and died for the next five seconds. Then, he woke up dizzied.

"No, I ain't mad. Well, as mad as I was since I was born. So?"

"I'm guessing... I may do this..."

"Okayy... now I'm gonna..."

"For a hug."

"WHA-?"

"What? I feel like no one loves me!" That's damn OOC!

"Then go to Kisame!"

"No, he hugs his dead fishes and stinks! I wanna you! You don't hug dead fishes and stink!"

"Then go to Zetsu! He smells like daisies."

"And dirt."

"Then Ko-chan!"

"Your brother would kill me"

"Then nii-san!"

"Konan would kill me."

"Tobi?"

"..."

"..."

Okay, for the sake of your eyes, let's skip this part. Conclusion- the old bastard agreed to make all the preparations necessary.

Now. Best question of them all- what should I wear? Rinaaaaaaa!

* * *

><p><strong>Kirina POV<strong>

It's finally New Year's Eve! Kakuzu kept his word and expanded our base to at least twice it's size! Kira was busy running around right now, barking orders at everyone. I'm smart, I hid in the corner.

"No Tobi! You'll knock down the cookies! Deidara put that away! If the tree explodes, I'll kill you!" That sounds fun! I want to see a tree explode!

"Kira-chan, do you need any help?" I asked.

"What do you think!"

"Uhh, yeah?"

"Are you going to help?"

"NOPE!"

"...Don't make me come over there." I childishly stuck my tongue out. "RAWR!" She actually charged at me!

"Ahhh! Kira-chan, don't you have better stuff to do than chase me around?"

"I'M GONNA KILL YOU, MIZUHANA!"

"YOU'LL NEVER CATCH ME, WHATEVER YOUR LAST NAME IS!" I ran into a lot of stuff. Tables, chairs, food, people, Tobi's. After a five minute game of 'tag', the living rom looked like World War III happened.

"You. Will. Clean. This. NOW!"

"Okay, okay." I started right away, even I am scared of Kira's wrath. The last time somebody tasted her wrath, the shoulder got dislocated and he was missing his front row of teeth. I think he's still in the hospital...maybe I should visit him sometime. Get him flowers or something.

Sigh...clean up took up the whole hour. I barely have time to get ready...

In my room, I put on a knee length blue dress, and light blue Converse.(They're comfortable, okay?)

"The guests are arriving!" I heard Kira yell. Yay, how happy! The living room was filled with people. Music blared loudly. I'm pretty sure that Tobi chose the music. Nobody, other than him, would play Barney and be caught dead with it. More and more people came.

"WHERE'S SASUKE!" I heard as soon as Naruto, his gang, and Orochimaru arrived. Well, Orochimaru added 'and Itachi' to it...thank God he didn't put MY name in there!

"Orochimaru! What are you doing here!" I heard Naruto. Hmm...I smell a fight coming.

"Kira, you take care of Shiny and I'll take care of Naruto!"

"Okay!" I walked up to the blonde.

"Heyyy, Naruto! How ya liken the party?"

"Where's Sasuke?"

"Chicken Butt? Over there, down the hall in one of the doors." I pointed towards the hall opposite of where Sasuke really is...hidden in Itachi's closet. Naruto took off with Sakura, Kakashi, and a guy who looks like Sasuke, his replacement perhaps? I looked behind me and Kira was asking if Shiny needed a haircut and he declined. She led him and Kabuto somewhere. I hope she led them to the backyard!

* * *

><p><strong>Akira POV<strong>

And I led Shiny and Harry to the backyard. Then I put my hands on my hips and started accusingly at them. "what do you think you're doing?"

"What?"

"Yelling like this! It's the NYEP, and I have no time for your obsessions! Same goes to you, Harry."

"..."

"And why the hell are you wearing Rainbow Dash's cosplay?" Don't ask why I know about little ponnies, too much dA.

"Well, we thought it was a fancy party, like we have to dress up in stuff! We chose Rainbow Dash! Why, you like more AppleJack or Twilight Sparkle?"

"I don't give a f**k about Little Ponies! I want you two to get along with everyone, okay?"

"And if not?"

"Then no Chicken Butt for you."

"Gaaaawh, Harry, your girlfriend is mean! But I agree. Then I get Sas'ke and itachi, right?"

"I guess."

"Kukukukuku!" he laughed and then left.

I sighed. being an organizer is so damn hard. Somewhere on my right side I saw Ko-chan and Nii-san, looking very happy together, and I recalled everything I shared with them in the last year. Oh, happy memories...

Inside, everyone was having fun. Sure, Kuzu-chan was stealing money from ppl when they weren't looking, Hidan was cursing at everyone, Kisame was trying to have fun forgetting about his dead fishes, Itachi was... well, weasel-like, Zetsu was trying to blend in, Tobi was acting like the maniac he is, but whom I still liked, Deidara and Sasori were admiring a body, for once agreeing that Tsunade's 'art' is the best, and Rina... Rina has just returned from wherever she's been.

I met her somewhere near the Christmas tree that was still there.

"Nice party, ne?"

"Yeah. Awesome collab we're doing."

"Yeah. The past year has been great."

"I have a feeling the one to come is going to be greater!"

"I agree..."

* * *

><p>Here is another chapter brought to you by the two of us! This one is actually the longest ever! Over 4000 words! O_O Yeah...Hope you guys have a great year! Full of happiness and...stuffXP Happy New Year!(The fireworks outside are kinda scaring me -_-"_)<p> 


	15. Fish Funeral

**Fish Funeral **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto!**

* * *

><p><strong>Kirina POV<strong>

New Year's ended with a bang, as in quite literally a bang... Pein ordered Deidara to set off a few bombs because he was pissed at all the Konoha villagers who questioned his hair and Orochimaru was being a creeper again. So I spent the countdown with the entire Akatsuki...and a drunk Tobi. It was fun. The day after, nobody came out of their rooms, we were too partied out. Now, it's the day after after, and for some reason, the sky got really dark and it was raining like hell! I guess it's not that special since we are in Amegakure after all. But there was just SOMETHING off about today. Maybe it was because Tobi was all sparkly and hyper, or maybe it's the way Pein's sitting, something was definitely wrong.

"Hey, Kira? Doesn't it just feel weird today?" She shrugged.

"No. What's wrong with you?" She said, mouth full of toast. Then, a gloomy aura filled the room.

"Are you sure there's nothing wrong?" I asked again.

"Relax! It's just Kisame." Sure enough, the big shark entered with Tobi trailing after him with a bucket.

"Tobi, what the F*** is that?" Kira asked.

"It's Kisame-san's tear bucket."

"His what?"

"His tear bucket. Kisame-san is crying because of...so Tobi is being a good boy and catching all his tears!" In the middle, I think Tobi tried to mouth something to us but I couldn't see what he was saying. Kira, of course, was stupid enough to ask.

"His what? What's he crying over?" Tobi made a slash on his neck with his hands, then put them together and waved them around like fish.

"OH OOH! I KNOW! IS IT DEAD FISH!" Ah..this'll be fun to watch.

"FISH!"

"Wait Kisame-san, the bucket!" Tobi tried to run in front of Kisame and catch his tears, but dripped as water spilled everywhere.

"MY CARPET!" I think..Kakuzu just died. While this was all happening, Kisame cried a river-no, make that an ocean. The rest of us? We choked on toast at the hilarious scene in front of us.

* * *

><p><strong>Akira POV<strong>

What? I have the tact of an amoeba! "So how did they die?" I continued.

"Kira, stfu!" Rina whispered frantically to me.

"What? I want details!"

"Don't be a masochist idiot!"

"You mean I shouldn't be a Hidan?"

"Yeah!"

"Fine. Then... OHMIGAWD KISAME, THIS IS SO SAD I'M SO VERY SORRY!"

"Better." Rina sighed, and Kisame stopped crying.

"You- you are?" he asked shakily.

"Um... Yeah, sure."

"Didn't you poison them?"

"No. Why would I?"

"Cause you hate my fish obsession."

"I don't care about you." I said, then immediately I wanted to take my words back, cause the Niagara of tears started falling again. Only this time Tobi caught it! Yay! "I mean, I don't care about your fishes!" Rina facepalmed. "I mean... I have nothing against them!" Everyone sighed happily when Kisame stopped crying. Tobi rushed to empty the Tear Bucket on the window in a poor passer-by's head who started swearing his a** off, then came ready to get another wave.

"I'm Emo!" Kisame announced. Lol, so we have zombies, emos, a carrot, a weasel, Rina, a xerox girl, an aloe-vera, a rapunzel, a pinnochio, a good boy and me. Could this get worse?

"I think we should give Kisame's fishes a nice funeral!" Nii-san said, and everyone gave him looks of WTF? He shrugged and gestured slightly towards Kisame, who looked happier.

I'm so not going to the funeral of fish!

* * *

><p><strong>Kirina POV<strong>

A fish funeral, huh. All I see is: flush down the toilet. Does that mean that we're all gonna be crammed up inside a bathroom and watch Kisame sadly flush the toilet? I don't think that we're all gonna fit though. Where did Leader get this stupid idea anyways?

"Sniff, Leader-sama, thank you for volunteering to help with my fish's funeral. They would've been very grateful if they were alive." Pein's reaction to this was hilarious.

"Wha? Help...you? What?"

"Yes, of course you're helping me! It was your idea. You'll help, right?"

"What? I...fine." and Pein admits defeat. The two exit the room for a while. Probably discussing the plans, Tobi followed them out with the bucket. Such a loyal boy. Minutes later, Pein walks in and asks Kira and I too look at something. He held out a piece of paper that said 'You're invited to Kisame's fish's Funeral!' and a poorly drawn fish under.

"That fish looks dead." Kira said.

"Kira, it's supposed to be." I told her.

"Right, right."

"Where's this gonna take place?"

"...my bathroom." Oooh, this is interesting! I wanna see Pein's bathroom! I imagine it's big, grand, and orange!

"You mean that cramped sh*thole of yours? I can barely fit in there without knocking half of you 'hair products' down on the floor." Okay, never mind. Kira just ruined my dreams of the giant orange bathroom.

"Exactly why you aren't allowed in there anymore. It's not my fault that it's cramped! There was a construction malfunction and Kakuzu's too dead right now to fix it!"

"Not that he would anyway if he were alive." I pointed out.

"Right.."

* * *

><p><strong>Akira POV<strong>

"Well, actually, he would if I asked him to." I pointed out. "And plus, if I ain't allowed in your bathroom anymore, how am I supposed to take part at the funeral? I don't even want to."

"Dammit Kira, you have to! I can't stand having to buy so many black eyeliners and emo stuff when I go shopping with Konan!"

"You go shopping with Konan?" Rina asked stiffing a laughter.

"Yeah, and sometimes they drag me along too, trying to make me meet guys along the way. But I send Tobi instead of me to go with them. And still they don't give up..." I sighed. Some people just don't learn anything from their past mistakes.

"Whatever. So... what are we gonna do for the funeral?"

"Can't we just put him in a genjutsu?" rina suggested

"Suuuuuure, like Itachi's gonna help us." nii-san objected.

"We don't need him. I can cast genjutsu as well."

"Yeah, we've forgotten about that" we said at unison, then snickered. There were so few occasions when we seemed like siblings that it was funny when it happened.

"But this isn't normal to do. He had just suffered a loss. Those fish were important to him." Who the hell asked the other emo to join our conversation? Gosh... why am I still losing time with such an uninteresting person?

"Haaaaaaah. You want to attend to a fish funeral?"

"It's for a comrade."

"In a bathroom so small that I wonder how Konan fits in there?" Not to mention the company... yeah, I'm a stalker. But it's too damn funny to see nii-san's face getting red as a tomato everytime!

"For a comrade."

"YOu know what, Kira? We should take this more seriously."

"Damn no!" I said along with my nii-san.

"come on!"

"He got me to help him though I never wanted to!"

"And I don't give a f**k about his dead fishes, or him!"

"Guys. You gotta."

"Give me arguments to convince me." I said, and nii-san nodded approvingly. If they give us a good enough reason to go, we will. If not... not!

* * *

><p><strong>Kirina POV<strong>

Okay, reason. Um, how about: he's a giant fish man who can chop us into a million pieces? Most definitely yes, he could. But that's not the best reason there is.

"Well, he's a great person, er, fish...fish-person." Kira crossed her arms, unconvinced and leader nodded, jotting down..notes? "Hey, Kira, what's your Nii-san doing?" I whispered. She took one look at him and said: "Being a carrot." I think Kira needs to go to school again, because last time I checked, carrots did not write notes. Maybe I should look closer next time at the carrots I eat...

"So anyways, Kisame was nice to you! Remember the time when Tobi stubbed his toe and you couldn't shut him up? Kisame offered to take Tobi out on a trip!"

"He threw Tobi in a river." Good point...

"Well..." I racked my brain for all the good things that Kisame did. "He...baked...cookies for you once!"

"That was a prank that you and him made up! It tasted like paper!"

"That's because it was made out of paper." I stated. She looked...angry. Which is not the effect I need. I ran out of 'nice' stories. Tactic two: Make up a sob story.

"Ahem, Well Kisame was a great Fish-person. He was always apart of our conversations and aided us in fights. He was always there for us whenever we needed him...most the time. His fish was important to him, especially Bubbles. He and his fish were like two peas in a pod, they loved each other, so we have to attend it for Kisame!" Well my plan worked... sorta. Pein was crying buckets already and Kira...was totally unconvinced. "He will also hate you forever and chop you into a million pieces!"

"Psch, I'll just Shinra his ass off!"

"I'LL TELL EVERYONE WHO YOU LIKE!" That got her attention...and her brother's too.

"WHO IS IT!" Pein cared about this more than her.

"You wouldn't!"

"Try me."

"Fine..I'll go."

"WHO IS IT KIRINA?"

"It's..."

"Who?"

"RINA!"

"A cookie!" Yes, a cookie solves everything...

* * *

><p><strong>Akira POV<strong>

Damn that little b*tch! The official version was that I still liked Weasel! She wasn't supposed to use this as a blackmail! Dammit, now I'm stuck at a boring sh*t! Gosh, I. AM. SO. ANGRY. F- you, world, and f- you, Kisame's dead fishes! Ew, it's like I'm a necrophilic zoofilic creep. Not the case...

"Kira, tell me who's the idiot that sle- I mean, who you like!" Nii-san yelled. Wow, he actually thought I...well ... y'know... with that guy? I wish... but, as I said before, I'm only 17.^.^

"Nope. Now come on, we've got a funeral to attend to!"

"KIRA, IF YOU DON'T TELL ME THEN I'LL... I'LL..."

"You'll what?"

"I'll... tell everyone... Kirina, give me blackmail for her!"

"Nope. She's agreed to come. No need. Plus, I already know. I wasn't just bluffing."

"Damn yeah, cause I was stupid enough to tell you." I muttered.

"Exactly. Now come on!"

And there we were, the whole Akatsuki, in the box nii-san called bathroom, surrounded by carrot stickers and merchandise, plus Naruto (I got him lately, I thought he'd be in tone with the colors of the bathroom. I hung him above the toilet. When he gets ** he ** on my nii-san's head... also when we forget to feed him. And when we forget to place the anti-Zetsu alarm. Whatever.) So we were in water up to our knees, cause of the tears, Tobi got stuck somewhere between Kuzu-chan and Ko-chan with the buckets, Kuzu-chan said we can't open the door cause the water would ruin the floor... Yeah, we're so having fun...

"Anyone wants to say a few words before our dear friends leave this world?" Nii-san solemnly said, but of course I have to ruin that.

"They already left the world."

"Here we have a volunteer to make up a little speech!" Oh, that bastard!

"Yeah. Nemo and Ariel and Flipper and Jaws and whatever stupid mermaid name would be there were Kisame's close friends, and only friends, cause he's too ugly and antisocial. He fed them only sh*t, but they liked it... more or less. We can blame this on Tobi's horrible cooking skills." And here Tobi started crying, doubling the amount of water in the small, tiny, microscopic room. Water was already up to my waist, so we need to hurry. Zetsu is going to putrefy, as well as Pinocchio, Konan's makeup will run, Deidara's mouth-hands will drown, nii-san and hidan's hair will go wild cause of the humidity, and Kuzu-chan's money will get wet. Overall, only me and Rina were the only ones kinda okay and not in danger. "Concluding, they were cute little adorable fishes. To the toilet with them!"

Yeah, he did it. He threw them there, flushed and Naruto's pee crowned the whole procession.

"Okay, we're done. Let's go! I need to get this water off me!"

"The FLOOR!"

"F**k the floor!" everyone said, and the closest one to the door managed to open it. Good thing my room was... just next door. F**k.

So much fun...

* * *

><p>Sniff, POOR FISHIES! T_T I remember I had a goldfish when I was a kid...I don't think I fed him enough...he kinda disappeared without me knowing it-_-"<p>

ANYBODY WANT TO KNOW WHO KIRA LIKES? I WILL TELL YOU FOR FIVE DOLLARS AND A DOZEN DONUTS!


	16. Akira's Crush is!

**Akira's Crush is...!**

**Akira POV**

So, after the lovely funeral thing was over, everything went back to too normal for a few days, which was highly disturbing! In Akatsuki everything needs to be crazy! I mean, Kuzu-chan counting his money, Hidan swearing, Konan babysitting Tobi, Pinnochio being a puppet, Kisame dating Samehada, Itachi being Emo, Rapunzel dating Rina... too normal! I still had my daily dose of fun at the expense of the latter couple, teasing them asking when the wedding is and whether I can be the godmother of the children, but...

It was about 5 PM and I was in my room with Rina gossiping, when a carrot stormed in my room.

"OKAY, I GIVE UP! WHO THE HELL DO YOU LIKE?" he yelled, looking like having a nervous breakdown (another one. Handling a criminal organisation ain't so easy, ne?)

"Which one of us?" Rina asked.

"BOTH!"

"Why are you so psycho to find out? Are you jealous on Rina's boyfriend?" I asked, earning a punch from Rina and a dizzy look from Nii-san.

"Wha-? No. I just want to know who you're sle-..."

"Oh, goddamit, I didn't sleep with him!" I muttered. I just wish he stopped mixing me up with Konan. "And why the hell do you wanna know who Rina likes?"

"This ain't a romantic show! We need to conquer the world!"

"Bulls*it! We need to have fun! I haven't had so much fun lately from a long time! Ever since Rina joined, it's been very funny around here!"

"Gaaaawh, thank you, Kira!"

"Don't mention it..." We both smiled.

"So. Who do you like?"

"Tsch tsch. Nope."

"THEN I'LL FOUND OUT ON MYSELF!" Nii-san yelled and rushed out of the room, making sure to slam the door on his way out.

"You think he can?" Rina asked, looking a bit worried.

"Well, it's pretty obvious in your case, but... it'd be awful if he found out about mine."

"Yup. But I don't think he'll get very far with his investigation. He's a carrot after all."

"Agreed..."

Several hours later, in the middle of the night...

"Emergency meeting! Everyone better gather in the living if you don't want to be locked in a room with Tobi!"

Hah, I don't care! I can control Tobi! F**k you, nii-san! I wanna sleep.

"Akira, by the way, I know you're probably telling me to go to hell right now, but you'd better come. Otherwise everyone will find out about your secret system."

HE KNEW ABOUT MY SECRET STALKING TUNNELS? WHA-?

Okay, I'll go to this damn meeting...

* * *

><p><strong>Kirina POV<strong>

Four A.M. Four A.M. is when our BELOVED leader decides to wake us up with a threat about Tobi.

"Kira, can I please kill your Nii-san?"

"No, that damn carrot knows about my secret tunnels!" I wonder what gave it away, the giant square outline on the floorboards, or the big sign 'AKIRA'S SECRET TUNNEL SYSTEM, DO NOT ENTER' full with lights and everything.

"Ya know, if we shred him into a carrot salad, then he can't talk about it!"

"Hmmm, good idea." Pein somehow got everyone to assemble into the straightest line ever. He started by explaining our organization goals again, which he goes over every...single...time! Then, he talked about...

"I understand that you are all grown girls and boys. It's understandable that falling in love is inevitable, but you should understand what position you are in. We are criminals, we do not fall in love." Kira raised her hand. "Question?"

"Then what do you call the relationship between you and Konan?"

"Uhhh..." He sweat dropped and nervously twirled his fingers. "We are just friends." Somewhere along the line, Konan cleared her throat. Oooh, somebody's gonna get a beating tonight.

"Well, since we are getting on the subject of growing up, here's another problem: body odor. I will get to the point, you all STINK! I will now require you all to use a thing called deodorant and it should smell like carrot!"

"Is your Nii-san talking about puberty with us?"

"I dunno. He's just...whatever."

"Can you just get to the f***ing point already!" I agree, Hidan. Totally. Leader cleared his throat.

"Well, I will get straight to the point then." He suddenly jumped at the first person in line, which happened to be Kakuzu.

"IT'S YOU ISN'T IT? I KNOW YOU LIKE MY SISTER!"

"Five dollars." Kakuzu groggily said. Pein actually slapped a five dollar bill in his hand.

"Now spit it!" Kakuzu literally spit on the money. I think we're all too tired for this. Pein just growled and moved on to the next victim, Hidan.

"IT MUST BE YOU! YOU WERE THE ONE WHO INFLUENCED HER TO SWEAR SO MUCH! IT'S YOU! I'LL KILL YOU!"

"Good luck with that, leader!" I added. He glared at me. I think I unconsciously gave him the finger. Hidan did the unexpected, he shot his hand out and punched Pein straight on the nose. Leader retreated a few steps back and covered his nose.

"I will ban your rituals."

"F*** that, I'm going to sleep." Ah, I'm jealous. I wanna go too. Pein moved on to Itachi. He didn't say anything, just stared. Then moved to Kisame.

"YOUR FISH! SHE MUST'VE FELL IN LOVE WITH YOUR FISH!" I think he should see a psych...pschycha...psycho...psychotherapist!

"FISH! *sniff* FISSSSSHHHHHHH!" Kisame still hadn't gotten over his fish. Pein left the crying Kisame alone. Before he could talk to Deidara though, he was interrupted by the artist himself.

"Can I blow you up, un?"

"No."

"But I really want to, un. I just want to blow your face off." Pein kicked him.

* * *

><p><strong>Akira POV<strong>

Nii-san is totally going out of what was left of his damn mind! Plus, he wasted 5 dollars on nothing. Kuzu-chan does like me. Everyone knew that. I didn't like him, but that's the other part.

Moving on, he went to Pinnochio:"YOU LIKE MY SISTER, DON'T YOU?"

"Damn yeah, I do. She's good."

"SO IT'S HIM, ISN'T HE?" he turned to me.

"Wha-? Nii-san, he ain't even got blood! And damn no!"

"THEN? WHO THE HELL IS HE? TOBI?"

"Yeah, Tobi. I swear, I wanna spend my life eating cookies and playing My little pony. Now really, get serious, nii-san."

"ZETSU THEN?"

"What gave it? My great love for fertilizer or my secret passion for people with mental disorders?"

"I GIVE UP! WHO THE HELL DO YOU LIKE!"

"It's a good thing you gave up on using the verb 'to sleep with'. But you won't find it out as long as I'm alive. Cause either you'd kill him or he'd kill you. Personally, I'd enjoy the latter, but I want both of you alive. So, you won't find out."

"YOUR ROOM! THERE'S GOTTA BE SOME LOVE LETTERS OR SOMETHING OR HIS E-MAIL OR SOMETHING! I'LL GO CHECK IT!" he yelled, then stormed out to my room. I couldn't follow him because all my other fellow Akatsuki members gathered around me.

"Kira-chan, are you in love?"

"Who is he?"

"Do we know him?"

"Have you had your first kiss with him?"

"Is he rich?"

Gosh, I've had enough of that. Sorry, guys, I need to protect my intimacy! "Shinra Tensei!" They all flew in all directions possible, then I rushed to my room. I could feel Tobi and Rina, being the only ones who didn't question me, one of them cause she knew and the other because he got cookies, came along. A good freak show's a good freak show, ne?

* * *

><p><strong>Kirina POV<strong>

It was too late. Kira already knew it, I'm sure. Pein would've already noticed the secret fan base in her closet. Posters, plushies, everything. Kira threw open her door and there was Pein, still searching. So apparently, it's not too late. Of course, being the stupid carrot that he is sometimes, he only focused on the part of Kira's room that he thought would hold the most secrets, her desk.

He opened lots of drawers and papers were spread out everywhere. I picked one up and it was *Insert crush*'s information. Of course, Super Stalker Akira got all the info on him. Now if only she can find a way to get him here or us to them. By us, I meant Kira and I. I wanna go too! Can't miss a chance to glomp a bunch of hot guys!

"Nii-san~ You finished yet~"

"Yeah, Carrot~ Ya done yet~"

"NOOOOOOO!"

"Kira, he's gonna burn your desk to ashes~"

"I know right~"

"STOP TALKING LIKE THAT!"

"After you stop talking like that~"

"GAHHHH!" And he flips the desk. Here's our favorite scene: Pein sulks in the corner like he does every time he doesn't get his way. Serving as comic relief, Tobi comes in through the window!

"Hi, Leader-sama~"

"Sniff, you talk like that too, Tobi?"

"Yeah~ You know, Kira-san likes to hide stuff in her closet~"

"TOBI!" I had to use all my strength to stop Kira from murdering him on the spot.

"CLOSET!" Well on the bright side, Leader regained his energy? He just ripped the door off and stared. The first thing out of his mouth was a bunch of *'s.

"KIRA, WHAT THE HELL IS THIS!"

"Uhhh...

* * *

><p><strong>Akira POV<strong>

Oh sh*t. Damn Sh*t. A carrot in my life finds out about the other carrot. OMG, I have just realized how similar they are!

"Uhhhh... nii-san, you see..."

"Why are there so many pictures of me here?"

"WHA-? YOU?"

"Yeah. I must admit I look better than my gorgeous self here, but... photoshop, right?"

"Whaaaaaaa-?" both me and Rina were stunned. Sure, there's a small resemblance, but...

"Kira, you like me?"

"EWwwwwwwwwwwwwww!"

"So no. Then?"

"You're as carrot as ever!" Rina said.

"I agree. You really are that stupid?"

"Stupid? Why?"

"Should we tell him?" I whispered to Rina.

"It won't make any difference, cause even we don't know how to get to contact them."

"Agreed. So let him believe it's him, ne?"

"Egoistic little carrot he is..."

"IKR?" Then I turned to nii-san, and declared loudly "Yes, that's you in those hundreds of pictures and photos and plushies and posters and life-size replicas. And...-Kami give me the strength to say the following...- that's all because I... I... I lo-...I lov-... I CAN'T DO IT!"

"She means she loves you." Rina supplied. I wanted to strangle her and thank her in the same time. At least I didn't have to say those words.

"But who do you like after all?" nii-san asked, facing... Tobi?

"Uh. Nii-san. I'm here." he turned around to Rina. "No, here!" I waved my arms, and he finally got the right direction.

"Uh. Kira. yeah. So who do you like?"

"Kira, has your nii-san gone blind?"

"Probably. That explains his stupidity."

"Nah, that's the carrots that explain that."

"So, we have to talk with itachi to get him some Ozzy Osbourne glasses, ne?"

"Yup..."

* * *

><p>So you guys STILL don't know Kira's crush! Hahaha! But it will be revealed in the next chapter! Also we'll have some special guests joining us too;)<p> 


	17. Into Another World!

**Into Another World!**

**Kirina POV**

Ahem, ladies and gentlemen, we have finally found it! Finally, after all these weeks of research we have found...the secret to crossing the dimensions! Yes! My and Kira spent a long time and finally, her secret crush will be revealed! Of course, there still needs to be a bit of touch ups on the plan, but we're getting close!

"So Rina, tell me again, what are the risks of doing this?"

"Do you...really want to know?"

"Yup, yup, yup!" I sighed, pulling out the mile-long list. Clearing my throat, I began.

"The risks of using this fantasticaly, magnificent awesomeness are as followings: Missing leg or other important parts, Deformed face, epic fangirlness, excessive squealing, fainting, mind loss, and possibly death."

"Well...that doesn't sound too bad. Right?"

"I guess. Are you sure you're ready for this?"

"Hell yeah!"

"Okay, let's go then."

"Wait...right now?"

"Yeah! I thought you were excited to see 'him'."

"Course I am! Just...just let me say bye to my teddy first."

"When did you get a teddy bear?"

"Okay, I lie. It's a stuffed carrot. But can I please say bye?"

"Whatever." She ran off and I sat down and waited. I poked at the machine a bit and it whirred to life. That's...not a good sign.

"I'm baaaaack~"

"Okay, ready now?"

"Nope! I wanna say bye to my Strawberry Shrine!"

"...Whatever." This time it took her forever. The machine started making weird sounds. It sounds...like a weed whacker-cross-vacuum...how does a weed whacker sound like anyway?

"I'm ready now!"

"Hey Kira, are those sounds...normal?" She paused to listen.

"It sounds like Tobi after a horror movie. Or maybe Kakuzu after a heart attack." Then, everything went wrong. Our invention (that we spent several all-nighters working on, by the way.) shook uncontrollably and started wheezing like a hyperventilating old man.

"You know what it sounds like now? It sounds like an awesome explosion is about to take place!"

"Then what are you waiting for? Run!" I was always halfway through the door.

"Can I watch? Please?"

"...Whatever!"

* * *

><p><strong>Akira POV<strong>

And there must be a boom now! It ain't. What about now? Nah. Now! Sh*t.

After half an hour like this, the machine stopped doing all sorta stuff that old folks do. Actually, it stopped completely. "Rina?" I called, and she appeared in the doorway. "I think we ran out of batteries."

"What batteries?"

"Oh, yeah, that was my part to design. This beauty works with batteries. It's cheap and undetectable."

"And?"

"And I guess this beauty only works for a minute or two before doing the whole show you saw and turning off."

"That's what I get for working with incompetents..." she muttered, so I threw the dead batteries at her.

"Now find others!"

"Why me?"

"Cause I gotta say more goodbye to my super awesome shrine."

She stormed out mumbling stuff about me, but I was too busy with seeing orange everywhere.

...

...

Rina returned half an hour later with brand new batteries.

"Did you get them?" I asked just for the heck of asking, because it was obvious she did.

"Yeah, Turd monkey. Now, for f*ck's sake, can we go?"

"Yup." I went and put the batteries in the machine and it started working again. "Okay..." Excitement, excitement, excitement! Just before I could reach to touch the portal, there was my door opened roughly and Rina's Rapunzel standing in the doorway.

Dun-dun-dunnnnnn!

* * *

><p><strong>Kirina POV<strong>

"Why hello, kind sir. What brings you here?" I asked. Really. What was he doing here?

"What the hell are you two doing here, un?" I need an excuse!

"Uhh...we..are..."

"We're doing this for a science fair!" Kira cut in.

"We're what?"

"What!" He said the same time I did.

"Yeah, you know, the science fair in Otogakure?" She said, nudging my elbow. I got the hint.

"Oh, right! Almost about it!" Deidara still didn't seem convinced much. Instead, he leaned on the wall, crossing his arms, waiting for more detail.

"What are you still doing here, blondie?" Kira asked.

"What's the invention about, un?"

"..." Kira was at a loss for words. Luckily, I stepped in.

"It's a Make-Tobi-Disappear machine!"

"It's a what!" Kira was surprised and angry but Deidara seemed to like the idea.

"Can I see it, un?"

"No. Now get out!"

"Fine..." At last, our annoying intruder was gone. Back to the machine! I turned to Kira and she was...not happy.

"Make-Tobi-Disappear machine? Is that the best you could do?"

"Yeah."

"I don't want Tobi to disappear! Big meanie!"

"It's not real you know..."

"...Riiiiiight! Let's go now on our next search for more hotties!"

"Haiiiii~" She was about to press the button until...

"KIRA-SAN, RINA-SAN! TOBI DOESN'T WANT TO DISAPPEAR!" Yes, that happened.

"Rina, your plan backfired."

"Well fix it!"

* * *

><p><strong>Akira POV<strong>

Damn... Tobi entered my room flailing his arms around and looking like he was running for his life. Which, in his conception, was right. "TOBI IS A GOOD BOY! TOBI DOESN'T WANT TO DISAPPEAR! WHAT HAS TOBI DONE TO THE GREAT ALMIGHTY KIRA-SAN AND RINA-SAN?"

"Great almighty, huh?" I muttered. He was getting to be a slick talker.

"Um... Tobi... We... that's not a make-you-disappear device!"

"Then what is it?" I asked, wanting to know what else the great almighty stupid would make up.

"Um... This is a portal to the Pokemon dimension!"

"WHAT?" both me and Tobi exclaimed.

"Kira, STFU! If he goes in that portal, they'll take him to give him to Yachiru for her to have a pet! So we do get rid of him!" Rina whispered to me, and I shuddered. Tobi and Yachiru united= both Soul Society and Naruto world exploding. But meh. I need to die happy in my Strawberry's arms!

"Yeah! You get to meet Pikachu!"

"TOBI DOESN'T WANT PIKACHU! TOBI WANTS BUNEARY!"

"Okay, you'll get Buneary!" I was starting to get annoyed."

"YEYEYEYEYEYEYEYEYEYEY!"

"Kira, press that damn button!"

"Damn right!" Finally, I got to press the button. Without hesitating, the three of us jumped in there. And we landed...

* * *

><p><strong>Kirina POV<strong>

BAM! I hit the ground in the middle of...a busy street? Where's Kira and Tobi? Strangers were already gathering around me. From the looks of it, they aren't who I was looking for in the first place.

"Are you okay, miss?"

"Don't talk to her! She fell from the sky!"

"ALIEN!" Sh*t. This can't be happening to me. What if...we got separated? I can't do this on my own. I think, I'm in the real world right now. Kira and Tobi...did they make it? I got up and instantly, all the people shot back five hundred feet away from me. Seriously? I just rolled my eyes and wandered around.

It's kind of frightening to walk around in a place that you aren't familiar with. But why the real world for me? That's my least favorite place in the anime...sigh. How can this get any worse?

There it is. I've said it. The magic words. Things did get worse. A lot worse! A hollow...no, two hollows...wait, make that three, warped into the world and chased..after me.

"Sh*t, sh*t, sh*t. Double sh*t!"

I don't think ninja tools work well for this kind of stuff, so I'm just gonna run for my life now. Closing my eyes, I sprinted, pushing pass angry citizens. I heard someone land behind me and awhile later, the hollows disappeared. I turned around and saw a flash of white.

* * *

><p><strong>Akira POV<strong>

The landing came with a loud thump for me, and the lack of seeing Kirina or Tobi around. Not good...

"Oi, who are you and why are you landing from the sky? Who is she?"

"I have no idea, Asano-san..."

"Whaaaaaa-? What's with the sudden social distance?"

"I don't know what you're talking about, Asano-san..."

"Whatwhathwhatwhat! You're doing it again!"

I looked at the two guys in front of me dumbstruck. I thought we Akatsuki were odd, but they've taken it farther. Or is it just because I'm not used to this kinda stupidity?

Meh. Anyhow... I looked at their uniforms. Karakura highschool. Okay. I checked my stalker notebook (the one where I held all the info), with that Asano whatever guy looking over my shoulder. I finished pretty fast, then I turned to them.

"So I see you guys know someone called Kurosaki Ichigo?"

"What? Whatwhathwhatwhat? What do you want with him? Are you a FBI agent? Or a robot?"

"Asano-san, you start to sound like Inoue-san."

"Again social distance?"

"Guys! Focus!" I called, guessing I'd better stop them in time. "Kurosaki Ichigo. Where is he at the moment?"

"Why would we tell you?"

In less than a second I had my kunai pressed to his throat. This guy was annoying, and was wasting my time. i had to find Rina and TOBI, who might have destroyed half the town, and glomp my Strawberry. "You'll tell me if you wanna live." I whispered threateningly at him, my Rin'negan swirling crazily.

"HE'S HOME! KUROSAKI CLINIC, THREE STREETS FROM HERE!" he yelled.

"Okay, not so loud! You're coming with me to see if you didn't lie. If you did... I'll make sure it is the last thing you've done. You, social-distance-guy... Mizuiro, right? You may leave."

"Okay. See you tomorrow, Asano-san!" he waved bye. Okay, so a crazy stalker woman has just taken his best friend hostage and he just waves bye? They. Are. Crazy.

While trying to shut Asano's mouth, I wondered just for the heck of it what was Rina doing and if she had better luck than me...

* * *

><p><strong>Kirina POV<strong>

I stared at the whited-haired umm...boy? He stared at me with a very serious expression.

"You can see me?"

"To-To-To..." I was in so much shock, it was hard to speak!

"Can you see the hollow too?"

"To-To-TOSHIRO!" I yelled and gave him a giant glomp. Yes! It's one of my favorite characters! Hitsugaya Toshiro, tenth squad captain! Immediately, his mood changed from serious to seriously annoyed.

"Get off me."

"Or else what? You'll freeze me to death?"

"How did you- never mind. I'm taking you to Soul Society." I jumped up and down.

"Yip! Yip! Yippee! We're going to Soul Society!" I admit, I am a little hyper. Just a little.

"Let's go." I was going to go...but Kira might get mad at me for leaving without her. I have seen her mad before, and let's just say that it ain't pretty.

"Wait!" He turned. "Do you know some guy named Kurosaki Ichigo? You know, teenage guy about yay high, got orange hair and named after a strawberry?"

"What business do you have with him."

"My business with his business is non of your business. Now tell me." He seemed irritated that I'm speaking to him like that.

"Come with me."

We walked down a few streets and down some alleys. I fell down a sewer and..yeah. That's pretty much it. Finally, the clinic was in view. I could feel Kira's presence inside the house! Actually, no. I could just hear hearing screaming.

"ICHIIIIGO! CAN I GLOMP YOU?" Then, you could hear Ichigo protesting.

"What is wrong with you? Get her off me!" Toshiro just walked in, as if he owned the place. Ichigo stopped running to look. Kira finally got her glomp.

"Oh, hey Toshiro. What's up?"

"IT'S HITSUGAYA TAICHOU! This girl was looking for you."

"Another one?"

"KIRA!"

"RINA!" She let go of her precious Ichigo and came over to hug me.

"Where were you?"

" Fell down in the middle of the street and met him." I jabbed my finger towards the captain.

"You smell like garbage."

"Don't I always?"

"So...where's Tobi?"

* * *

><p><strong>Akira POV<strong>

"Tobi...? WTF is that?"

"Lollipop, your little pet? Good boy? Um... Deidara's kohai?"

"Hah?"

"You really don't remember him?"

"Ooooh, that guy everyone thought to be that someone he ain't? Yeah. He's called Tobi?"

"Yeah. You really did forget about him?"

"Well, I'm surprised I remembered about you. Look... I got to GLOMP Icchy!"

"Damn, you sound like Yachiru..." Icchy said, and I grinned.

"So... we should find Tobi, ne?"

"Yeah..."

"How do we do that?"

Then a hard silence fell. Everyone stood on the floor of Icchy's room, doing different stuff. Kon was trying to make Rina take off her Akatsuki cloak, totally failing, Hitsugaya was looking ** off, I was thinking how to find Tobi and Icchy... I couldn't look at him without drooling, so I just guessed he was... um... existing and being hot.

Suddenly, the window opened and Rukia and Renji appeared. They entered the room and sat on Icchy's bed, looking at me and Rina. Okay, seriously, they have never seen girls like us? "Um... who're they?" Rukia asked.

"I'm Akira... I haven't got any idea what my last name is... and this is Rina."

"Mizuhana Kirina, actually, but her manners are bad..."

"And why the hell are you here?" Renji asked.

"Because little lady over there is crushing ** Ichigo."

"Ne, Ichigo, another girl... you're getting very popular, ne?"

"Shut the hell up, Renji! Not my fault this girl is crazy!"

I was so not going to accept this like this! I smacked the back of his head hard, and he started whining. That should make him know manners around me. I'm such a hypocrite, ne?

"I've heard you must locate a person. I can do this..." Rukia offered.

"That's great, Rukia-san. But his reiatsu may be a bit weird..." Rina said.

"It'll make him even easier to locate." she flipped out her cell and started typing something on it. "Yeah, I got it. He's in Soul Society."

"We gotta go." Rina said, and I nodded.

"Yosh, everyone let's perk up! We're going to Soul Society!" I said, standing up.

"WE? I'm staying here!"

"No you're not. You must go with Akira-san..." Renji said, probably teasing Icchy. But it worked, because he turned into a Shinigami, making me swoon more than before. What? Kyaaa, ne?

Rukia opened the Senkai gate and taking a deep breath, we went through it.

* * *

><p>Soo...this has turned into a crossover with...Bleach? Yeah! How unexpected things turned out, ne? We never thought that this would turn into a crossover at all! But at least you know who Kira was crushing on all this time:)<p> 


	18. Soul Society and the Search for Tobi

**Soul Society and the Search for Tobi**

**Kirina POV**

We walked through the gate and landed into Soul Society. Except...this was not the Soul Society that I remembered seeing on Kira's laptop.

"What...happened...here?" Even Rukia looked stunned. Buildings were torn and broken in half. Smoke was everywhere and people were running around. It was...a mess.

"Is there an enemy?" I asked.

"No. There isn't any overwhelming or unfamiliar reiatsu."

"You know Kira, this is almost like that one time when Tobi got ahold of some funky flowers in Zetsu's garden."

"Oh yeah! Then he ate them and nearly destroyed half the base. I had to take my entire Ichigo shrine and run away to Konoha for awhile." Behind her, Ichigo looked horrified and mouthed 'shrine?' I nodded. He paled.

"Wait Rina.."

"Yeah?"

"Flowers...Tobi destroying our base..."

"Oh..I see..."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah...what are we talking about again?" She face palmed and turned to Rukia.

"Do you guys have any large pink flowers that smell like Kakuzu's foo- I mean..."

"Aizen's foot?"

"Yeah. Aizen's foot."

"You're looking for a large pink flower that smells like Aizen-Taichou's foot?" We both nodded. "Well Unohana-Taichou might have some of those in her garden. I could take you there if you want."

"Yes, please!"

"Okay, Ichigo, Renji, are you coming?" Renji excitedly followed but Ichigo was a bit reluctant.

"Come on, Ichigo!"

"Er..I'm just gonna hang out here a bit."

"Hey Ichigo! If you go then I promise that Kira won't glomp you at all during the trip."

"Okay then! Let's go!"

"You idiot! You can't do that!" I leaned in and whispered to Kira:

"I said you can't glomp him, doesn't mean you can't hug him!"

"Oooh. Okay."

We all headed to the fourth squad's barracks where Unohana-Taichou very generously allowed us to go into her garden. She reminds me a lot of Konan, motherly figure and can scare the hell out of you when she's angry. We looked around but there were just too many pink flowers! We resorted to having Renji and Ichigo sniff every flower till they found one that smelled like foot.

"Hey! I think I found it!" Yep, definitely. Large, pink, smells like foot. This is the flower.

"Excuse me, Unohana-Taichou? Has a boy with an orange mask, and wearing a cloak like ours come in here lately?"

"Ah, yes. He came in with Yachiru-chan to have some snacks. I believe they took one of these flowers and some leftover weeds."

"Okay thank you." I pulled the rest of them outside.

"We're going to the eleventh division!" I swear, I could hear Kira secretly cheer. Renji sniffed his sleeves.

"What am I going to tell Taichou when he figures out that I smell like flowers?"

"You could tell Nii-sama that you fell in love with his tree!"

"Then had a secret affair with one of Unohana's flowers!" I added, Rukia and I laughed. Ah, I have so much fun here.

"Come on! Let's go already!"

"Okay, okay." Geez, Kira is so impatient!

* * *

><p><strong>Akira POV<strong>

Kayz, now the real fun begins! Am I gonna see a real fight? Icchy vs. Kenny... Kyaaaaaaaaaaa! That event would be my favourite ever! Well, after Oro's concert... come to think of it, I haven't spoken in a while with him... I should give him a call or something... maybe a fruit basket... why not?

In the meanwhile we arrived at the 11th division barracks (which was incredibly hard with all the rubbish and ruins around us. Well, that happens when you feed Tobi sh*t... and Yachiru.) Icchy walked in as if it were his own house, with me after him and the rest coming after. He turned to me annoyed. "Could you give me some personal space?"

"What's dat?" I asked in my cutest chibi face.

"Like, take a step back."

"Why?"

"To give me some room!"

"Huh?"

"Kira, step back. Now." Rina commanded, and I obeyed. It was a little play we set up. "Sorry, I told you she has no manners." she said apologetically to Icchy, who nodded a bit dazed. This little plan was in order to me to behave however I wanted and glomp whoever I wanted. Smart, heh?

Suddenly, a huge reiatsu made itself felt. I took advantage of this to grab at Icchy's arm, supposedly scared. Nii-san has got about the same amount of reiatsu, so... I'm used to it.

The door of the main hall was slammed to the wall, and there stood the 11th squad captain in all this splendor. "What's with you all here in my barracks?"

"We're looking for Yachiru and her new friend." I spoke, which turned out to be a great mistake. At a closer inspection of me, Kenpachi unsheathed his Zanpakuto and pointed it at me.

"You seem strong. Let's fight!"

"Wha-? No!"

"Come on, come on, come on!" he yelled, launching in an attack. And that was what I wanted. I played helpless, and Icchy had to block that attack for me. "Oh? Ichigo? It doesn't matter who I fight! I want you both to come to me with all you got!"

"Ne, ne, ne! Stop! We're just looking for Yachiru!" Rina chimed in, stopping everything.

"Yachiru? She went to play around the Kuchiki manor."

"That's the information we wanted. Thank you, sir, for your collaboration." Rina said, dragging me and Icchy out, with everyone else following, looking at us as if they've never seen crazy girls. Which is technically correct.

"Now, dear associates, to the Kuchiki manor! Rukia-san, if you may, please lead the way!" Rina said ceremoniously.

This quest is so damn cool!

* * *

><p><strong>Kirina POV<strong>

"Hey, Rukia-san, does the Kuchiki Manor have a lot of Sakura Trees?"

"Yes, somewhat. Nii-sama is a big fan of those." We continued walking. The eleventh squad sure is far away from the manor. It was quiet. Nobody talked. There was also a tint of awkwardness, mostly thanks to Kira who was staring at Ichigo's back the entire time. It was funny though, to see him flinch every time her staring got too intense.

"Uh..Kirina-san? Can you get her to stop staring at my back!" I turned around and Kira winked at me. I went with her act.

"Sigh, Kira! Where are your manners? Stop staring at the poor man's back."

"Can I stare at his shoulder?" I pretended to think and tapped my chin.

"Hmm...uh..okay!"

"Yay!"

"What?" Aww Ichigo looks so cute when he's confused...Just Kidding! Kira would fry me to death if she ever heard me say that!

"What's wrong Ichigo-kun?"

"She's staring at me!"

"Yeah. But they're not the same, ne? Back, shoulder, different you see!"

"But..but.." Just in time, Byakuya comes to the rescue!

"Renji." The red head pushed past us and stood straight in front of his superior.

"Yes, Taichou!"

"..You smell like a lovely flower garden. Why?" Pfffft. Kira and i tried hard to contain our laughter. How can he say that with a straight face? Renji's face turned 10 shades redder than his hair. Which made him look ridiculous. Like a giant pineapple tomato crossover!

"Uhh..well..you see.."

"Renji fell in love with your trees, nii-sama!" Byakuya stared at his sister, then at Renji, then back.

"Come by my office later. Both of you."

"Hai, Taichou!" Byakuya left. HE TOTALLY IGNORED US! Oh well, makes our work much easier.

"Kira, where do you think Tobi went?" As if on cue, a rock flew through a window and hit my head. Umm..ow? Let's just say that I passed out...but not before hearing a loud "Rina-san!"

* * *

><p><strong>Akira POV<strong>

Yey, here was Tobi! But he knocked out Rina. WHO WILL NOW SAY I HAVE NO MANNERS SO I CAN DO WHATEVER I WANNA? "Tobi, get over here right now!" I said in a commanding voice, and everyone looked at me even weirder. They thought I couldn't be assertive, ne?

"Tobi is a good boy! Tobi is glad Kira-sama is well! Tobi missed Kira-sama!"

"-sama, huh?" Rukia muttered. What, don't I look like nobility?

"Tobi, why the hell were you a bad boy to throw that rock and hit Rina?"

"Tobi didn't, Tobi never played again with rocks! Not after Sempai burried Tobi under many big heavy rocks! Tobi learned his lesson! Yachiru-chan did!" he said in one breath, then started crying. "Waaaaaaah, Tobi is a bad boy for telling Yachiru-chan to Kira-sama!"

"Anyone knowing how to babysit an idiot?" I said, turning to the three.

"What? No!" Icchy and Renji said in a voice. The both stared at Rukia.

"Why are you looking at me? I'm a Shinigami, not a babysitter!"

"You're a woman." Renji said.

"Thank you for noticing she's a woman! Now you two babysit him!" I said.

"We two? Since when?"

"Since I find you two suitable. Now do." And yeah, there was my commanding voice again. Though, I must say I was surprised to see them obeying. Now, back at Rina...

I violently shook her, knowing this is the damn best way to wake someone up. (fact proved to me by my nii-san) She woke up dizzy. "Where was the bomb?"

"Gee, Deidara's all you think about? Rise and shine! Yachiru hit you with a rock."

"She did...?"

"Yeah, and now stop pretending fainting, cause you're wide awake, and sit up!"

"Fine, you're no damn fun..." she said, standing up and looking in Yachiru's direction. She was at the window, with that cute grin on her face.

"Ooops, sorry..." and I only heard the first part of her nickname, because immediately I started laughing!

* * *

><p><strong>Kirina POV<strong>

"Oops, sorry Poopy head-chan.." Of course, Kira starts laughing the second she heard the word 'Poopy'.

"Kira, shut up!" Still laughing.

"Grrr. I hope you laugh so much that your laugh box explodes!" That made her laugh even louder. Yachiru just cocked her head to the side, confused. "And you." I faced her. "Who ya calling Poopyhead? You cotton candy head!"

"But I dunno your name! I want cotton candy! Can I have some cotton candy?"

"Uhh...lemme think..no! Cuz I'm gonna eat it first!" We engaged in a very serious game of tag. As for Kira, she's still busy laughing...really, her laugh box is gonna blow up one day and she'll regret all the times she laughed when that happens.

"Ahhh! Yachiru wants cotton candy!"

"Nope! I'm eating it first."

"I'm getting Ken-chan to join our fun game!" I abruptly stopped, nearly face planting on the dirt they call ground.

"Um, no thank you! If you want to get your Ken-chan, then ask Crazy-Laughing-Idiot-chan, to play with you." I'm pretty sure that Kenpachi's definition of 'game' is not the same one that Yachiru's talking about.

"Okay, thank you Poopyhead-chan!" I grabbed her shoulder's and made her face me. In my most serious voice, I talked to her.

"Look, stop calling me that! My hair isn't even poop colored! It's light brown! I don't see you calling anybody else with brown hair 'Poopy head'!"

"That's cause there isn't any, Rina!" Kira intercepted.

"Shush! There is too! Just..let me think!"

"I'm going to find Swirly-chan now!" Yachiru escaped my grip and went off to find Swirly-chan, which I assume it's Tobi. Speaking of that lollipop...where is he?

"Who ate the lollipop?"

"The what?"

"Where's Tobi?"

"Oh..that. I dunno."

"Is he still high on that weed-flower?"

"I'm not really sure myself."

"..."

"..."

"Kira?"

"Yes?"

"Go get him."

"Why?"

"Because I will give you a painful tan and make Yachiru call you Dirt Face."

"...Ugh, fine!"

* * *

><p><strong>Akira POV<strong>

"Okay, I'll go look for Renji and Rukia and Tobi. See ya latter, Icchy!" I said, knowing why I said so.

"ICCHY! Let's go to Ken-chan so you can play with him!" Yachiru turned around in the middle of her run.

"WHAT?"

"Yachiru-chan, why don't you go with Poopy-head to find some cotton candy!" I called, and Yachiru immediately turned her attention to Rina.

"Yay, Poopy-head-chan will get me cotton candy!"

"I told you not to call me that anymore!" Rina growled, taking Yachiru and leading her somewhere else. From her dark frown I could tell it was a deep dark pit.

"Okay, Icchy, I saved you from a horrible fate. You owe me one." I said.

"Go ahead and glomp me or whatever."

"Nah, that'd be too classical. I'll think about it. Until then, let's go find that orange idiot."

"Orange idiot?" he asked, and I could see a vein popping up.

"Oh, you're orange too! I meant Tobi. And Renji and Rukia. I can sense their reiatsu somewhere high... Do you know the highest place around here?"

"That'd be the Sokyoku hill. Are they there?"

"I'd guess so. What's the shortest way there?"

"Using shunpo would be the fastest way."

"I can't."

"Hmph. I guess there's no other way around." he smirked, then picked me up, roughly throwing my body on his shoulder. (This looks like a deja-vu from episode 190...)

"If I fall, I'll find you and bury you alive in a deep dark muddy pit."

"Don't worry, I'll make sure you won't."

That's f-ing karma! I finally get what I wanted after all those years standing my idiot brother and his old-fashioned girlfriend and his stupid organization! Amen!

* * *

><p><strong>Kirina POV<strong>

I led Yachiru far, far away. I just kept turning on corners. So I have no idea where we are now, but I have a feeling that Kira wanted this to happen. Just to get some alone time with Ichigo. Well, that's good. i can finally settle things. No, I'm not going to kill her on the spot! I love Yachiru! I'm also pretty sure that she can put up a good fight if she had to, she isn't lieutenant of the 11th squad for nothing!

"Okay, Yachiru. Let's start over. I'm Kirina. NOT Poopy head! Just Kirina."

"...NaNa-chan?" I'm so happy, I think I could just cry..

"Yes! Yes! Thank you! That is right! Just keep calling me that!" I flung my arms around her.

"Can we find cotton candy now?" I nodded.

"Yep, let's go!"

"Well, what's this? How interestin.." My heart skipped a beat. Could it be? Dramatically, I turned my head around. Silver hair, fox face...I think yes!

"Holy shi-...Omigod!" I jumped up and down. "It's you! It's you! It really is you!" I jumped and gave poor Gin a giant hug. "Wahhh! You're one of my favorite characters! If I could choose, I would so be in your squad!" Then I stopped. Okay, I think I just had a happiness breakdown or whatever..I stared at him and he stared back.

"Hehe, did I scare you?" He smiled his creepy awesome smile.

"Nah. Hiya! I'm Ichimaru Gin! But i think ya already know me?" I excitedly bobbed my head up and down.

"I'm Mizuhana Kirina!"

"NaNa-chan! Can we leave Foxy alone and find cotton candy now?" Oops, totally forgot about Yachiru!

"Okay, sorry. Where are they?" She pointed way up at some hill.

"There!"

"And just where is 'there'?"

"Sokyoku Hill. Ya wanna go there? I'll take ya!"

"Okay!" Isn't this the best day ever? I met Yachiru AND Gin!

"NO! I'll take you NaNa-chan!"

"Ah, are ya sure that's the best choice, Fukutaichou-chan?"

"Yep! I'll take NaNa-chan! And my name is Yachiru!" Are they...fighting now?

"I don't think so, Yachiru-chan."

"No! I'm going!"

"Um, how about the both of you go?"

"NO!" They both said at once. They started bickering back and forth. Headache...

"STOP ACTING SO CHILDISH. BOTH OF YOU ARE GOING! NOW." They stopped arguing.

"Yes, NaNa-chan..."

"Let's go."

* * *

><p><strong>Akira POV<strong>

"There we are." Icchy said, putting me down in a manner which I could call gentle. Somehow. More or less. But beggars can't be choosers, ne?

"Okay. Now looks for a guy with an orange mask who's like a 5 years old on steroids, a really short girl with big purple eyes and a red-haired..."

"I know how Rukia and Renji look, you don't need to describe them to me!"

"Oh, okay, sorry, I forgot..." I smiled apologetically, then started looking around. It didn't take long to see Tobi on the top of one of those huge tall pillars, with the other two yelling at him to get down. I rolled my eyes and went in their direction.

"So, wha'cha doin'?"

"Trying to get that orange idiot down!"

"See, Icchy, I'm not the only one who calls Tobi an orange idiot. It's his nickname. No one refers to you when saying orange idiot." I said.

"Well, I can refer to Ichigo as orange idiot too." Renji said.

"WHAT DID YOU SAY, TOMATO HEAD?"

"WHAT DID YOU CALL ME, ANNOYING ORANGE?"

"There they go again..." Rukia sighed.

"Don't worry, life has disappointments too..." I said, patting her back. "Now, if I may... TOBI!"

"TOBI IS A GOOD BOY! TOBI RUNS UP AND UP AND UP TO THE SKY LIKE A LITTLE BUTTERFLY!"

"TOBI, BE A GOOD BOY AND COME DOWN RIGHT AWAY!"

"TOBI IS A GOOD BOY AND DOES AS KIRA-SAMA SAYS!" Tobi yelled back, bouncing right in front of me.

"Sit." He did.

"That's amazing! How did you do it?" Rukia asked.

"He smelled the cookies." I said, making one appear magically in my hand. I fed it to Tobi, who munched happily on it.

The boys were still insulting eachother when Rina appeared, with Yachiru and Gin. No cotton candy? Gaaaaaawh, no!

* * *

><p>How this chapter somehow spanned 8 pages, I really don't know. It's only a freakin 2888 words!<p>

Finally in Soul Society! Rina got to meet her Taichou!Aren't you guys excited? Yes? No? Maybe so?


	19. Lovely' Reunion

**'Lovely' Reunion**

**As always, I don't own Naruto or Bleach!**

* * *

><p><strong>Akira POV<strong>

After knocking out Tobi, we started making our way back down. Apparently Rukia didn't quite like this Sogyoku hill. Note the use of the verb 'started'. Because a wormhole popped up and our dear beloved organization which we did not miss, with my brother first, stepped in this world.

"AKIRA, YOU CRAZY GIRL! WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN? I'VE MISSED THE HELLA OUTTA YOU!" nii-san yelled, coming and glomping me. Yes, as weird as it sounds, my own brother GLOMPED me.

When I finally got him off me I looked at Icchy and said "Sorry for making you go through this hell so many times. I solemnly swear never to do this again." but he was too shocked by the sudden apparition of so many people that he could not answer. "So, nii-san- wasn't our world enough and you wanted to invade this one too?"

"I was worried for you!"

"Emotional." I commented. Then the inevitable happened. Nii-san noticed Icchy. it was a really funny scene. They did something like mirror moving. Pein, yes, I say, we practiced it during an intense boredom fit, but how did Icchy know it too? oh, they'll get along so fine...:3

"Kira. Who's this man?"

"Yeah... Icchy, that's my brother, Nagato, aka Pein. Nii-san, that's my... that's Kuroaski Ichigo, aka Icchy." I made the introductions.

"I did not. Repeat, did not. Tell her to call me Icchy."

"She has this thing to nickname everything she cares for. It was she who called Konan Ko-chan, it was she who gave Kirina the nick of Rina, and it was she who... well... gave me my pseudoname."

"IT WAS YOU?" Rina and Ko-chan exclaimed."

"Yes, it was me, but as everyone kids around the internet those days, it has an extra part. Originally it was 'in the a-'"

"That's enough, Kira, they got it."

...

...

Awkward silence... which was pierced by a loud "Rina-chan!"

* * *

><p><strong>Kirina POV<strong>

"Uh, hello Kisame!" I addressed the blue shark in front of my face.

"I missed you a lot!"

"I...missed you too!" Lie. Kira opened her mouth to say something, but my glare shut her up. Pein cleared his throat and all eyes were on him.

"Are you two ready to go back home?" I nearly choked on my breath.

"Huh?"

"What?" Kira and I exclaimed. Too soon. Too soon. I didn't even get to spend more time with Yachiru and Gin!

"What do you mean no? I've had enough of your childish games. Enough is enough, now it's time to go home. I know what you're doing, it's that whole 'run away from home for attention' thing. I know what you two are up to!"

"We're not five anymore, Nii-san!" Kira screamed angrily. I guess I would be too if I had to leave my crush. Which I do have one...no, not Deidara! Don't listen to what Kira says..I would say he's a...I don't want to say boyfriend...he's just there, I guess. I'm harsh, get over it.

"Can we just stay a little bit longer, leader-sama?"

"No."

"Please?"

"No."

"Why?"

"I need you to back to work. Vacation's over."

"NaNa-chan, are you leaving soon?"

"No." I said.

"Good! Yachiru want's to play with NaNa-chan and Kiki-chan and Ken-chan!"

"I want to see Ken-chan again!" Kira wailed.

"I'm gonna get Ken-chan to play tea party with us now!"

"Yeah, you do that Yachiru." I smirked, you do that...

"Capture them." Pein ordered. What they did next was so unexpected, me and Kira didn't have time to evade. He had Deidara and Kisame hold both of my arms together and Hidan and Kakuzu on Kira's. They couldn't get any further, however. Ichigo and Gin threatened them with their sword at their throat. Hells yeah, hot guys to the rescue!

"Icchy, you care!" 'Icchy' Merely grunted.

"Now, I can't have ya take away someone as fun as Kirina-chan!" Amen, Taichou! A strong reiatsu was getting closer. Well, here comes Kenpachi...

* * *

><p><strong>Akira POV<strong>

"Guys, something bad will happen in the next five seconds if you don't let go of us." I said. I kinda like my comrades the way they are now, not scarred for life. Physically and mentally.

"And what would be so threatening for a God like me?" Pein said mockingly.

"I hate it when you get so ahead of yourself..." I sighed.

The huge reiastu was even closer now, and I could see a sweatdrop rolling on my brother's neck. He could feel something was wrong.

"What are you all doing?" Kenpachi asked loudly, and everyone turned around scared to death.

"None of your business!" Pein growled, trying to look down on Kenpachi, which didn't quite work.

"Hmmmmm... you're just as powerful as she is. Good, you're first. I want you to come with all you have at me as if your life depends on is."

"If I have to fight... SHINRA TENSEI!" he said, and dust covered the entire scenery, that you could barely see two feet ahead. "Sorry Akira, you're coming home whether you like it or not." Nii-san turned around, convinced he's finished the job.

"I'm the one who's sorry. You're too stubborn and self-absorbed to notice things that were right in front of your eyes." I said, using my own Shinra to send Hidan and Kuzu-chan flying away from me. My brother started walking towards me, and I took a few steps back.

"Akira, I gave you all freedom you wanted only because I considered your past was way worse than mine. I considered you have gone through worse things than me. But I was wrong to let loose the leash that much." Pein said, clutching my throat and easily lifting me from the ground

Just when I thought that my own brother would kill me, a sudden hit came from nowhere and knocked him down cold. I fell down to the ground, coughing.

"You okay, Akira?"

I looked up to see Icchy's concerned eyes. I took his hand and helped myself up. "Yeah, I'm alright. Could have been better." I looked down at my brother, who was unconscious. "What happened to the others?"

"They're alive."

"...buuuuuut?" something about the dark grimace Icchy made when answering made me worry a bit.

"But it took a while until Kenpachi cooled and started taking it easier. His first victims are more hurt than the others, but don't worry. The fourth division will take care of them."

"Rina!" I suddenly called her.

"I'm here." she answered.

* * *

><p><strong>Kirina POV<strong>

I stood next to Kira who was about to tell me something until...the massive amount of chakra came back. This time, they were smart enough to come armed. Kira and I braced ourselves as Ichigo stepped in front to protect us..well Kira more but you get the idea.

"Let the girls go and might not kill you." Konan said, in the front of the group.

"Why do you guys even bother?" I muttered.

"You two are important to us." Konan said softly. "Playtime's over. Let's finish this!"

"That's just unfair! We're adults now! We should be able to make decisions for ourselves!"

"Actually Rina, you're not technically an adult yet. You're not even eighteen." Kira whispered.

"Shut up! You're not helping the case here!" Konan took our mini conversation as a chance to attack. She ran at us, paper whirling all around her.

"Getsuga Tensho!" Ichigo fired before Konan had a chance to react. But Konan being Konan, wasn't even fazed by the amount of power put into the attack.

" Okay Rina, let's use this smoke as a chance to run!" Kira yelled a second to late. The smoke was already clearing from the flapping of Konan's paper wings. "Ah! No time! Rina, distract them!"

"What?" Distraction, distraction...how do you distract a bunch of S-ranked criminals? I spotted something...more like someone, walking in the distance.

"Oh hey guys look! It's Superman!" I screamed directing their attention away from us and on the so-called 'Superman'. Do you want to know who this Superman is? Hint: he has Superman hair and he's a big, bad evil person! I'm not helping much, am I? Anyways,back to our current dilemma. Kira pulled my hand, urging me along as I ran backwards waving my hand at my savior.

"Thanks Aizen!" The brow-haired Taichou did his smile/smirk at me as the Akatsuki members crowded around him to check if he really was Superman. I bet'cha this was all part of Aizen's plan! Sort of...

Kira and I ran in all sorts of directions, until I felt something attach itself at my behind and crawl upwards.

"AH! There's something behind me! It's a frog! It's a freaking frog! Get it off me! It's slimy! EW!" I screamed. Kira started laughing hysterically. "Why are you laughing, you cold-hearted person!"

"NaNa-chan!" Pause...think...NaNa-chan=Me. Person who calls me NaNa-chan=Pink-haired lieutenant of 11th squad...behind my back. Slimy=...Drool!

"Kira, you can stop laughing now."

"Hahahaha!"

"Kira...shut up.."

"Hahaha Ohmygod! Yachiru is a hahaha frog!"

"Kira! Let's go! The distraction won't distract them forever!" Kira stopped momentarily, wiping tears out of her eyes. I have a feeling that she'll never let me live this down.

"Yachiru, do you know how to get out of this hill?" She nodded.

"It's that way!" She pointed right. We ran. Dead end. She tapped her chin.

"Or maybe it was the other way." We ran there. Dead end.

* * *

><p><strong>Akira POV<strong>

Awe-some. I can't decide whether to kill her or to give her a prize for making me laugh so much. Her sense of orientation is as good as mine. Which I can tell ya- sucks.

"Yachiru, you're no help." I muttered.

"Kiki-chan is mean!" Yachiru yelled, jumping on me and starting to pull my hair.

"Stop it, I need my hair! It's important!" I said, trying to get her off me.

Nope. No chance. After a few minutes, of me trying to take Yachiru off and Rina laughing her ss off, she finally jumped down. Just before both Rina and I felt that someone grabs us by the collars of our cloaks and pulls us back.

"As I said, playtime is over. You're coming back." Konan said in a low dangerous voice.

We knew we had no chance to escape her wrath. When Konan got mad, there was no escaping.

"Can't you let the girls stay a bit longer? I'm sure they didn't mean to disturb anyone. You know how kids are." Unohana said, appearing out of the smoke. Come to think of it, she may be the only one who might face Konan.

"I understand they are rebels and all, but our organization needs them and we can't have them randomly skipping into other world. The young ladies here are criminals, if you didn't know."

"Many have done deeds, but forgiven they'll be if they don't seek fights here." Unohana replied calmly. She reminds me of Buddha, so calm...

"You are wise indeed. Maybe... I'll let them stay here a bit longer." Konan said, letting go of our cloaks.

"Do you somehow happen to like flowers?"

"I love flowers!"

"What about visiting my garden? I'm sure we can all get along."

"I'd love to." Konan said, and the two left.

Rina and I sighed happily. The greatest danger disappeared.

"Ya, Kira, right? What do we do with him?" someone called from behind, and I turned around to see Kenpachi lifting nii-san off the ground in one hand.

"Well... don't kill him. Then... give him some coffee and calmants and he'll be fine."

"Coffee?"

"Forget it, I think I have a ness somewhere..."

"Akira-san?" Rukia called.

"What now?"

"What do we do about him?" she gestured towards Tobi, who was currently playing with Renji's hair.

"Tranquilize him."

"O-kay... let's see where we can find some..."

* * *

><p><strong>Kirina POV<strong>

Okay, the coast is clear. While everyone was busy trying to find a tranquilizer gun, I slipped out and ran. I have a few things to discuss with my brain. First of all, I need some paper and pen. A bit up ahead, I heard someone frantically running around. I smirked when I realized who it was.

"Hey, you! Hanatarou, right?" He turned around. "Aha! It is you! Just the person I needed."

"Who are you? I'm sorry! Please don't kill me!" He shielded his face with his arms and started mumbling gibberish.

"Relax, dude. Like seriously...I'm not trying to kill you. Geez." Slowly, he peeked from underneath his little barrier.

"Who are you?"

"I'm Mizuhana Kirina! See?" I held my hands up. "I don't bite." I could see that he was beginning to relax.

"I'm in the Fourth Squad, seventh seat, Yamada Hanataro!"

"Yeah, yeah. I know that already. Say, can you do me a favor?"

"What is it that you need, Mizuhana-san?"

"Kirina's fine. I want you to get me some paper and pen, please."

"Hai! I'll get it right now!" He quickly ran off and tripped on..air. I like this guy, very...Tobi-like. Haha Kira, I got my own personal Tobi and he is much awesome than yours!"

"I'm back Kirina-san! I have your items!" Again, Hanataro ran a little too fast and crashed to the ground, dropping everything.

"Are you okay?"

"I'm-I'm sorry! Please don't kill me!"

"...I'm not going to kill you! Get that fact into your head already!"

"S-sorry!"

"It's okay. The problem is, are you okay?" He nodded.

"Y-yes, I'm fine!"

"Good. The ground seems to like you a lot."

"I apologize for my clumsiness!" I laughed and patted his head.

"Really, you apologize way to much for your own good." His face burned up.

"Sorry!"

"Sigh, there you go again."

"Hehehe, sorry." We sat there for a while before he suddenly jumped up.

"Oh! I just remembered! I have to go clean the 11th squad barracks! I have to go now, bye Kirina-san!"

"Aw, leaving already? Okay, I'll see you later then!" I waved at him as he left. Okay, back to business.

I picked up the pen and two pieces of paper. I titled one, BLEACH WORLD, PROS AND CONS. On the other one I wrote, NINJA WORLD, PROS AND CONS.

Let's see, in Bleach, the pros are: all the hotties, sword fighting, pranks with Gin, Yachiru, having a personal Tobi. What else...I guess that's it. Now the cons: I don't get to see Kisame anymore, the rest of Akatsuki will hate us forever, it's really hot here. Pros for Ninja world: I get to see Kisame and Deidara, Tobi will bake me cookies, Kira's secret tunnels, Kakuzu has lot's of money. Cons: Orochimaru a.k.a Shiny, Mr. Pein in the ass(really, he's not that bad. Just a bit too protective sometimes and too leader-like!), no sword fighting.

I put the pen down and read my list...that didn't really help. I still can't decide.

"Ri-Na~" Well, Kira's here again. I crumpled the paper and threw them out.

"Hey, Kira. What's up?"

"The sky." She answered.

"Of course."

* * *

><p><strong>Akira POV<strong>

"So, we're staying here or are we staying here?" I happily skipped to Rina.

"You said the same thing as two different options."

"Duh. That's the only options possible."

"But there are pros and cons, you know! LIke, if we stay here, I get to do pran..." she started, but I cut her off.

"You made a list, didn't you?"

"How did you know?"

"The crumpled paper over there has its title visible." I motioned to it, and Rina facepalmed. "And by the way- why are all the pros for that sucky world called 'pros'? You don't get anything out of any. First one is ew, then Tobi bakes only s*it, then I'll torture you if you get anywhere my baby, then Kuzu-chan wouldn't give you money. So?"

"But I'll miss everyone!"

"Ditto. Maybe we can convince them to stay here!"

"No chance..."

"Let's try!"

"Okay..."


	20. The Definition of Double Date

**The Definition of Double Date..**

**Akira POV**

I found Rina on a random roof, looking at the sky. I had something very important to speak with her. I jumped on the roof and sat down by her. "So, my dear friend, we have a situation."

"We do? What happened, you couldn't convince your brother?"

"Long story short- I convinced him. But no, that's not the thing. The thing is- you gotta get boyfriend." I said, and she blushed.

"Why? I mean, it's not like you got one either!"

"Dudette... I'm already trying. You ain't. And from what I noticed, there are three people who like you."

"Three?"

"Yeah."

"Don't tell me. Yachiru?"

"Yeah. But I heard snakey may come around, so let's not take his joy. So."

"So..."

"Dammit, you're too defensive! You're going on a double date!"

"...what?"

"Mwhahahahahahahahaha! Evil Akira strikes again!" I yelled, jumping down and running like a mad woman. Which I was.:D

Soon, I reached some barracks I wanted to get to. I entered and in less than five minutes I got out. Good good good. Then, I went to Konan and told her to tell nii-san to tell someone something. I felt so mysterious! Mwhahahaha!

After all this was taken care of, I went to Rina again. "Dear Dudette, at 7 o'clock you have an appointment for a picnic in that forest over there." I told her, vaguely gesturing in that direction. "Don't try to stop us from stalking ya." I winked to her, and left. Mwhahahahahahaha!

* * *

><p><strong>Kirina POV<strong>

I stood there dumbfounded. What just happened? She said double date, right? So that means she'll be going with me, right? That's what double dates are...right?

Well, since she already arranged all this, I suppose I should get ready. What should I wear? Hm...well it's not like I brought my entire wardrobe with me here, so I had a very limited selection. Not knowing who my date is makes this ten times harder!

I let out a sigh.

"Ah..what should I wear! Dammit Kira! You could've gave me a few ideas on this! Why can't a miracle happen..like, a fairy Godmother or something..." Suddenly, there was a burst of purple sparkles in my face and...

"You called?"

"Um..Yumichika. What the Hell do you think you're doing, wearing a purple tutu and holding a sparkling pink wand?" I asked my, um, the, er...I don't even know what to call him anymore!

"Why, I'm you fairy Godmother, of course! Also, doesn't this skirt just compliment my beautiful face?"

"Yes..it looks quite well with those rainbow flip flops of yours." I answered, pointing at those ridiculous shoes.

"Thank you my dear!" He did a little twirl. "Now let's get right down to the point. I want to see all the clothes you have. NOW!"

"Yes sir! Uh..Ma'am! No, sir-ma'am?" His face turned as red as a tomato.

"Yumichika is fine!" Bonk!

"OW! Don't hit me with that stupid wand of yours!" I thrust my clothes in his face. "There! Happy?"

"Hm..these.." He examined each article of clothing closely before finally coming to the conclusion that...

"These are as bad as my captain's sense of direction."

"Are they really that bad?" I asked, full of worry."

"Yes! But do not fear, darling! Come with me! I will take you on the colorful journey to fashion!" He offered me his hand and I took it. Too late to regret anything now...

The fifth seat took me down to some district in the Rukongai and dragged me into a shop.

"Hello, Yumichika-san. How may I help you?" A young woman stood behind the counter. She didn't seem in the least bit surprised at the Shinigami's outrageous attire.

"Yuki! This is an emergency! I need you to make the best kimono for this girl here! Make it knee-length and light green with white cherry blossoms! I need it in two hours!" He spoke in rapid speed and pushed me towards Yuki.

"Hello, I'm Yuki! This way please." She led me inside a room and began to take my measurements.

"I'm Kirina, by the way."

All of the measurements were complete, and in one hour, forty five minutes, and thirty two seconds, the kimono was finished.

"It's really pretty." I whispered, touching the newly made kimono.

"Put it on and skip to your lovely date!" I put the kimono on and found my way to the forest.

What I saw was something I would never expect. Apparently, in Kira's dictionary, double date means something different. Way different.

* * *

><p><strong>Akira POV<strong>

Alright. Everyone important in Seireitei was there, plus the whole Akatsuki. This was a thing not to be missed. For the past five minutes, we've all been trying to hide our laughters, because Repulsel and Foxy were looking obnoxiously at eachother, not daring to say anything.

Then, Rina appeared. It was highly problematic to hold my bubbles of laughter which were close to escaping my mouth.

"Sooooooo... this is awkward." Rina said, looking somewhere else, which happened to be the tree branch where I was "hiding". She mouthed to me 'I'm gonna kill you!' and I mouthed back 'First get a boyfriend!'.

"Let's sit down, cause standing only makes it awkwarder." Rina suggested, and they all sat, still not saying anything. The situation was pretty tense, so I decided to use the joker.

"ORO, I CHOOSE YOU!" I yelled, throwing a pokeball between the three of them. They all stared as Oro emerged from it.

"Helooooooooooooo, my dear friends! Helloooo, my dear next body!" he said, launching for Rina. She started running in circles, Oro started running after her, and the guys started running after Oro. Oro tripped, so the guys tripped, so Rina tripped too and landed on the guys, Oro was almost crushed by the weight, Rina started whining about how fat she's, all three of them started awkwardly somewhere else, then Snow White and Foxy kicked Oro's butt and made him return in the Pokeball.

"Thanks for the support guys. You mean I'm fat, ne?" Rina said, looking accusingly at the two.

"No!" They both said in a voice.

"You're beautiful!"

"And smart!"

"And funny!"

"And awesome!"

"Looks like you're gonna live longer than today!" she said, grumpily sitting again. Aurora and Foxy looked at eachother with faces clearly saying 'PMS...'

Best. Fun. Ever.

* * *

><p><strong>Kirina POV<strong>

"Stupid Kira!" I kicked a rock. After the best date of my life, note the sarcasm, I walked back to my room.

"Rina-chan~"

"Ah!" A back-breaking force hit me from behind and I was sent tumbling to the ground by none other than the self proclaimed Good Boy, Tobi.

"Just what do you think you're doing Face?"

"Tobi missed his Rin-Rin!" I hit him upside the head.

"Don't. Call. Me. That."

"Ooh! Ooh! Is this what Kira-san call, PMS?" Damn that Kira, what is he teaching this boy.

"No, Tobi. Now go away!"

"But, Tobi wants to play!" He whined.

"Well Tobi can play with Tobi in Tobi's room!"

"Okay!" He cheered and sped off faster than the speed of light! I let out a sigh. What a long night. I trudged my way back to my room and flopped on the bed. Just as I was about to fall asleep, the bell rang, signaling intruders in Seireitei.

"Argh! Is it that hard to just let me sleep in peace?" I jumped off and stepped out. It was total chaos.

"The enemy is heading towards the First Division!" Alright, first division, here I come!

With my awesome ninja speed, I sped off and disappeared into the night! (Tripping on a random twig along the way)

"Halt! I will take down all invaders!" I screamed holding out a kunai! Well, guess who the intruder was?

"Hello, dude with a chicken butt head.."

* * *

><p>Hello everyone! After what seemed like a very long time, we've finally updated! It was mostly my fault...well, both of our fault! We just took turns dying...-_-"<p> 


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